where anything you perceive as bad is 'Liberal' and anything good is 'whatever-the-hell-you-think-you-are'.

Are you aware of this affliction, or is this coming as news to you?

There's probably pills or something for whatever it is that's mentally deficient about you. Either a problem with upbringing or chemical imbalance.

Either way, I'm sure I'm not the first person whose noticed you're a bona fide mental case.