Conversation Transcript from The Annual CPD Neocon Thanksgiving Dinner April 1, 2012

Juan:
So what do you think of Bob Dylan?

Deanna:
Actually I never liked Dylan’s music LOL. I always thought he sounded like Quick Draw McGraw and that’s a FACT!!!!! I like Jerry Lee Lewis and his Balls on Fire song.

Juan:
I should have known better. I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.

Deanna:
LOL!!!! When you talk, other people get horse just listening. ....;)

Juan:
Your pussy's like a joint, it gets passed around and hit till you can't hit that shit anymore. It’s like the fvcking ocean, everybody gets sick from it.

Deanna:
LOL!!!!!! Who wears your GOOD clothes? You need to take a vacation; why don’t you go to Club Dead. LOLOL!!!!!!!

Mr. Sunshine:
Oh that was clever. Funny as Harry Reid. Forget it Juan. She’s informationally deprived and inhabits her own private time zone.

SES:
Hey Curmy, I heard you were an officer. What rank were you, or were you just plain rank?

Curmudgeon:
He’s rank alright. His breath smells like toasted cheese. Hey, Sunshine, I was surprised to see you hear. I heard you went to the butcher and asked for 10 cents worth of dog meat and he asked you if you wanted it wrapped or if you would eat it on the spot.

Deanna:
I bought it to go. Want some you loser? I am a goddess and that is a FACT!!!. Any questions? LOL!!!!

SES:
If you have a problem then tell my ass cause it's the only one who gives a shit.

Deanna:
I wonder if you could drive any better if that car phone was up your butt. LOL!!!

SES:
Oh that was clever, bitch. It’s an I-phone, and you should put a diaper on your face because that’s where all the shit around here is coming from. Make that a Depends because you’re (you fvcking are) so old.

Don Surber:
Calm down children. I don’t mind you talking so long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.

Deanna:
LOL!!! Of coarse you’re listening. Any moron can see that, and that’s a FACT!!!!!. Right Curmy?

Curmudgeon:
Don’t involve me in you inane squabbles. You and Pelosi are the reason God created birth control. You’re like a door knob that gets turned on by every hand that grabs you.

Deanna:
Now Curmy, you have such a way with words LOL!!!! No wonder the libs can’t stand up to your arguments. It was a bad week for Obama LOL!!! Hey Sunshine! How about you and me getting naked together after the dinner?

Mr. Sunshine:
You and me? Practice safe sex for a change. Go screw yourself.

Deanna:
I think Mother Nature really hates you and that’s a FACT!!!! You remind her of all her mistakes. LOL!!!!! ... :)

Mr. Sunshine:
Your dad should have made a white spot on the sheet instead of a black mark on society.

SES:
Your rotten boner smells of toasted cheese breath.

Curmudgeon:
Nip nip, nip little nipper. You’re just jealous because he’s got a dick like a turkey poking its head through a bush.

SES:
Yeah? I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Deanna. I wouldn’t talk if I were you. Your balls are so saggy you could tea-bag somebody while doing a hand stand, if you weren’t so fat.

Curmudgeon:
I wasn’t talking you either. I was talking to Deanna. You must be the arithmetic man. You add insults, subtract pleasure, divide attention and multiply ignorance.

SES:
Shut the fvck up! I’d shove my foot up your ass, but you’re the kind of guy who would enjoy it.

Don Surber:
Your dick is like a land mine; small, hidden, and explodes on contact. If you want to get laid, Deanna, crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.

Deanna:
LOLOL!!!!! I’m busy now and that’s a FACT!!!! Can I ignore you some other time? LOL!!!!!

Mr. Sunshine:
You know, you’re a craven, whoreson jolt-head.

Curmudgeon:
Where did you get that one, the Marines? Bet you don’t even know what a joltson whorehead even is.

Don Surber:
When his mother first saw him, she left the hospital and left him on the steps of the police station when she turned herself in for reproduction crimes. I wonder when the white African American president is going to remind enough people of the ocean and make them sick?

Mr. Sunshine:
When you have to use the john, go around the corner and look for the word “Gentlemen” on the door. Pay no attention. You can go on in anyway.

Juan:
I heard they’re going to serve a sea food salad. I bet that’s why SES brought you, because when he heard they serve crabs, it was an excuse to invite you. After dinner he hoped to get lucky, and that’s why he’s got that bag of flour in his pants. He’ll throw it on you and look for the wet spot.

Deanna:
LOL!!!! Your mommy called and said she has your bottle all heated up, and that’s a FACT!!!!

Curmudgeon:
You know, I think I understand why your birth certificate has an apology from the condom company attached to it.

Deanna:
LOL!!!! Oh yeah? Why is that? “Cause you think you’re better at sex than anyone. All you need is a partner, but unfortunately the only pussy you’re getting is the one you fell out of, and that’s a FACT!!!!! LOL!!!!!! ... :)

SES:
You’re the reason God created the middle finger. You’re also an example of the overwhelming power of the sex drive because some stupid fvcker was willing to father you. One more thing, Juan. Why are so many Mexicans named Jesus? I mean Jesus, go to Mexico and ask Jesus to be your savior, you might as well pray for a dick big enough to have its own heart and lungs.

Juan:
All of us have said or done wrong things. We don’t hold you responsible for your short comings, but this fvcking dinner has already gone on way too long. Don’t you realize there are enough people in this world to hate, like Obama, without you’re giving us another?”

SES:
Fvck you. I’m not screwing her! I’m saving my flour for later.

Deanna:
I heard you were fired from the sperm bank for drinking on the job LOL!!!!

SES:
No, I wasn’t, but I bet that fvucking libtard Piker sucks Obama spew.

Deanna:
LOL!!!! That’s a FACT!!! He’s like a vacuum cleaner because he sucks and blows.

Curmudgeon:
Yeah and add that little nipper HH to the pile too. People clap when they hear and see him; hands over their ears and eyes.

Deanna:
Don’t forget mombitty and that troll queen SiaSia☺giah. All of there ancestors must number in the millions and it’s hard to believe than many human beings are responsible for producing them, and that’s a FACT!!!! LOL!!!!! LOL!!!! Did you catch that? I said SiaSia, like that Gaboar woman! LOL!!!!!!! I’m so smart!!!!!!!

SES:
You know it’s terrifying to think somebody hates me as much as people must hate you.

Mr Sunshine:
Did you take a shit today. SES. You need to put it back. I agree with your brother, you should not be allowed to breed.

Deanna:
Hey, is Poppet a man, or a woman, or a guy?

Mr Sunshine:
If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask his parents. Come to think of it, maybe we should ask your parents.

Deanna:
LOL!!!!!!!! Your peepee soaked swine is so boaring, you can’t even entertain a doubt, and that’s a FACT!!!!!

Curmudgeon:
The chain is only as strong as its weakest link. You want to play horse? I’ll be the front end and you can just be yourself. LOL!!!!!!!

SES:
Oh fvck! Whatever she’s got, you got too. Anybody who told her to just be herself couldn’t have possibly given them worse advice.

Deanna:
Exactly! In the dictionary under “stupid,” it says “see him” (pointing to Don Surber) You have no clue of what shamanism really is...LOL From one in the know... :)

Don Surber:
Here’s a fly swatter. Go amuse yourself for another hour.

Curmudgeon:
Nice try Don. She doesn’t kill relatives. You know they said this was gonna be a gourmay dinner. What do you s’pose it is? I hope it’s pork and beans.

Don Surber:
I would expect that of you. Look at you man! Last week you bragged you bought a three piece suit for this dinner, and that’s it? A pair of overalls, a plaid, flannel shirt, and your thermal underwear bacon neck?

Curmudgeon:
Oh yeah? We can tell how you manage to keep your neck above water because we can tell by the color of it.

Sia☺giah:
OK everybody. Glad you could make it on this particular day. Our other community members noted the day and realized this day was truly meant for you all. Before we say grace, I’d like for you to know our guest speaker is Ms. Sarah Palin, who along with some of her family will play a role of a typical day in the governor’s office when she lived in Alaska.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!


Of course you know she was the wife of George and Todd and mother of Bristol, Trig, Trap, Trip, Trop, Slop, Track, Eliot, Hurp, Stump, Dump. She was introduced as the secretary and secret lover of Leslie. After ending their affair, she became a full time housewife. Her stint at governor was a ruse to break up Rita and Leslie.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!

Sia☺giah:
Somebody get the door! Deanna, get the door!

Deanna:
What do you want?






She is joined today with her husband Todd, father of Bristol, Trig and Trap. Known as the aggressive guy, who abused his wife.






He eventually lost his mind and was taken into a sanitarium. Also here today is Track, son of Eli, killed by a bear and adopted by Sarah and Todd until a DNA test revealed Sarah was his biological mother and she adopted him to hush that dirty little secret. Husband of Connie and godfather of Bristol, he spent 18 years in jail for a false accusation and later became the editor of the local newspaper. Tom Stein, the husband of Susan, worked as a priest. He tried to convince his wife to end her alcoholism, and was accused of pedophilia of the entire Wasilla Elementary School from 1969 to 2007.

BANG BANG BANG BANG!







Sia☺giah:
Who’s at the door?

Deanna:
Some old geezer who looks like Curmudgeon. I think it’s Merlin.

Sia☺giah:
What did he want?

Deanna:
He wanted to get screwed.

Sia☺giah:
Are you gonna screw him?

Deanna:
Whoah Nellie LOL!!!! I already did.

Sia☺giah:
Very good. Alright everybody, dinner is ready. Bow your heads and let's pray.