... to the possibility that gummint will solve everyone's problems, and that all 6.5 billion people on Earth will live rich, successful, rewarding lives with nothing lacking.

I still believe in Santa Claus and the Easser Bunny.

I bought the Brooklyn Bridge from a nice, swarthy mid-eastern man yesterday. This is the second time that I have bought it in the past 3 weeks.

I respond to every Nigerian Scam, giving them my bank account number and access code, my credit card numbers and 3-digit security codes, and my PayPal account number and access code. So far, I have amassed minus $387,269,403.58 in my account, and counting.

I buy Chrysler products because I find them to be the most reliable vehicles on the road ... most of mine are on the road somewhere ... if they have not already been towed away.

I like Clairvoyance better than L'Oreal, and I always rinse with Clairsentience before working in a dab of Clairaudience to get the maximum benefit from Color Therapy.

Pyramidology was developed long before Pythagoras angled in.

Most of my ideas for computer software development have come from Tarot Cards and Crystal Ball Gazing.

I took a Dowsing Twig from my hip flask during the performance.

When I was younger, I had Apparitions of being a Doctor, but my fascination with computers led me astray in a different direction. I am working on a new concept similar to CAPTCHA called Automatic Writing ... no need for authors any more. Shakespeare is in a state of Necromancy, so methinks he will not protest at all.

One of the first things our teacher presented in Latin was the Conjuration of verbs. My favorite part was the Incantations of Catullus.

I sets all my thermostats on Mediums to conserve Sorcery of energy.

I got some really good deals from Astral Travel ... much better than Hotwire.com.

I like Courvoisier ESP better than Hennessey VSOP.

If you get one of these new high-tech hydrogen cars, soon you will be able to re-fuel at any Superstition.

I spent a Fortune Telling my lawyer all the details about the case.

After an in-depth Tea Leaf Reading, I heat up some water, and toss in the leaves with a pinch of cinnamon ... mmmmmm!

If the Boulder Police had been more familiar with Handwriting Analysis, they could'a nailed Patsy.

I Spells rail guud ...

The new 10.2 gigaHertz Mantras on the Ouija board in my laptop make Numerology much faster.

I understand that Mayo Clinic is now using Iridology to shrink tumors, and the Phrenology Department is doing brain transplants. They did some miraculous Psychic Healing, and now she's back doing Palmistry.

One of my favorite cars of all times was the Karma Ghia.

The national debt is at an Astrological level.

The AME Church was doing Spirit Rappings long before 50 Cent came on the scene.

Being next to my Uncle's coffin at the funeral was a Near Death Experience for me.

Medical Scientists are now using Parapsychology to better understand why people jump out of perfectly good airplanes.

Many marriages fail because one partner gets tired of Mind Reading ... people need to learn to add a bit of Enchantment
to an otherwise dull relationship by communicating more Omenly instead of assuming that the other "got it" through Thought Transference.

The run-flat tires on my BMW Z4 are resistant to Acupuncture.

I don't Mind Control as long as it is used properly.

Mikey liked Lucky Charms too. He wasn't stuck on just one cereal.

My empty Barolo Pressenda Piemonte bottles are truly Disembodied Spirits, but they were fun while they lasted.

I use Mental Telepathy to contact my friends ... it is safer than texting on cell phones when I am driving on the highway.

Older Cadillacs used a system of Levitation in their suspensions. With their Reincarnation in a newer, sportier generation, they use a "Para" Kinesis links to provide a firmer, more stable ride. Also, they have gotten rid of the engine "knocking" caused by Precognition.

And, I am thankful each day that we have Black Magic in the White House. However, Obama could cast aside all doubts about his origins and Presidential eligibility by Rebirthing. I'm right about this, so don't Augury with me.

Amulet me get away with this nonsense without adding to the fun?

:)

600HP ... what fun ... 0-60 ... quarter mile ... drifting ... and putting street Porsches in their place.