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Excerpt from my story, I've Lost My Smile
Mon May 9, 2011 10:19pm

Part IV:

7:30am-the next morning….

Shawn opened his eyes just a little bit to realize that the hotel room was flooded by light-the only light that could possibly come from the sun. He felt extremely tired as he rubbed his eyes and tried to move; but when he did so, he felt his body lying on top of something abnormally large on the bed. "What the-?" That is when he finally realized he was laying ON TOP of Bret Hart! He tried to close his eyes once again and take in the guise of sleep as he felt the body lying beneath his suddenly begin to move.

Shawn's POV-

OH NO! I opened my eyes just now to realize it was already morning…damn what happened last night? I feel my head begin to throb with pain as I look up at the digital clock next to where I'm sleeping. I'm all the way over by the night stand….what on earth? I see it's already like 7:30 in the morning. And-and this thing, lying against me, what the hell? I look down where I am to see someone's chest in my full view! Its Bret Hart….I'm-I'm lying against him? OH NO! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! NO, this has got to be some kind of horrible nightmare! I did NOT sleep with that freak last night! Wait-did I just call him a 'freak'? What did I just think that for? Oh man…..I close my eyes once more and try to think back to the night before…and that is when it happens…it all starts coming back to me. OH GOD! Now I remember…I was in the bathroom with him last night….and his nose was, was bleeding from me punching the living daylights out of him. I had given him a tissue to help stop the bleeding, and for some odd reason, I actually cared about his general well-being. Don't ask me why though. I had been looking at our reflection in the mirror, and I told him-that he looked beautiful! What the hell was wrong with me? Oh man….then it got worse….I then kissed him on the lips….YUCK! But he didn't seem to mind, and neither did I-at the time. So he kissed me back and for some odd reason, I let my fingers explore his body as we made out. His skin was, was so damn smooth to the touch…it was almost exhilarating! The way his body felt to me just turned me on! And some how, we had made our way over to the bed and began to undress each other-what the hell was WRONG WITH ME? But then….oh god….I handed him a condom and took off my boxers and let him-let him inside of me! But the feeling was just too great for words to describe! For once in my life, I actually had control with another man in bed-I have never felt that sense of respect from anyone before. But now though….Now I feel-DISGUSTING! Now I feel as if I had just been diseased! OH GOD! Screw this! I need a shower! I need to get clean! I just slept with BRET HART! Ugh! How much worse can it get? Why am I trying to reflect upon last night…..? Why would I want to think such things about the one person who I can't personally stand? Then, as I slowly sit up in bed, it happens-Bret finally wakes up-oh no….

"Huh?" I hear him mumble while opening his eyes. "What the-?" Bret looks up at me, and his eyes practically look as if they're about to bulge out of his head-as did mine, because at that very moment, we both sat up in bed and began to scream our lungs out! "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screams.

"!" I scream back.

"What the hell-Shawn?" He says, sitting up in bed. "Don't yell!" He says quietly, but I don't seem to hear him. I jump up out of the bed and onto the floor below as he remains still covered and looking at me….this can't be happening!

"What the hell-happened last night?" I ask. I look down to the corner of the room, where my boxers lay. I scramble to pick them up and run into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. Oh man…..and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse….I hear it….the slight whining sound coming from the other room. I try to ignore it, but the sound just seems to echo inside the bathroom walls. I look at the shower before me, but I make no move towards it-What am I doing? I should have never slept with the man in the other room last night! What would make me do such a thi-? Then I see it….the prescription bottle sitting on top of the sink. Oh my god! So that is what made me do it! Those damn pills I had taken last night! Curse those things! I want to get sick for crying out loud! Sleeping with the Hit Man-could I do anything dumber? But then my mind starts thinking once again. I am not a one-night-only type of guy. When I sleep with someone, I tend to stay with them for as long as I am wanted, and then after they are done with me, I move onward. As simple as that. Unfortunately though, my heart tends to break when all they want is just a fling and nothing more…..I hate it when some people do that! They only come to me when all they need is a piece of ass and nothing else. I am more than that, damn it! And well, as much as I hate to admit this to myself, last night, I felt that I was something more-like as if something inside of me felt hopeful for once. I am known as the slut of the business to some, but that is not what I want to be remembered as. And maybe, my nemesis Bret, realized that as well. I hate the man for Pete's sake-but maybe there is a side of him that I haven't seen yet. Maybe if I just give him a chance-No, I can't do that! I'm supposed to hate him! Not like him! I wish I could just forget all about last night-just leave it behind me and pretend like it never did happen. But I can still hear the soft cries coming from the Hit Man in the other room and I start to feel sorry for him; maybe he liked me to a certain extent after all. Maybe, just maybe I liked him as well. Why else would I be feeling such an obligation to go into the other room and talk to him? I wouldn't know any other reason. So, I suck it up and try to be a man; I decide to put on my boxers and head to the other room. But as I walk toward the bed, I keep asking myself-why am I doing this?

Bret's POV-

He just ran from me like a sore loser that he is….I should have known better than to let that slut take advantage of me. Of course I'm bi….but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be raped of my dignity! Oh and now here he comes, trying to redeem himself I presume…..he thinks that I'm going to forgive him that easy, does he?

"Bret, I…." He sits on the bed next to me, while I continue to face the other direction-how dare he try to take advantage of me and then try to save face!

"You what?" I ask bluntly. "What? You feel sorry for doing what you did to me last night? HUH? You sorry for acting so ashamed for doing what you did this morning? Because if that is what you're about to say, then just forget it-I'm not hearing any of it!" I huff and puff as he continues to sit on the edge of the bed, in complete silence; wow, and I thought that was going to be an impossible accomplishment!

"….No, Bret, I just wanted to say….I'm, I'm sorry….for the way I acted a little while ago. I simply freaked out just now, I couldn't help it…." Simply freaked out, eh? Yea….RIGHT!

"And let me guess….you're about as sorry for doing that as you are about last night, right?" That should get him to back away real quick…..if he's the real slut that I've heard he is!

"No, I mean yes, I mean-oh I don't know!"

"….Figures…." I mumble back.

"Bret! For crying out loud, I am sorry, really…I mean, you have to put yourself in my shoes….." Your shoes? Why the hell would I want to do something like that? "See, if you don't know by now, I am usually not a very open guy…..I usually keep my feelings and emotions to myself…."

"Yea….you are not very open alright! For the slut that you're claimed to be, one would think that you were VERY open…." I literally expect him to jump at me and begin to beat me down, but he doesn't….in fact, all I hear is silence….

"A….a slut? Who the hell told you that?" He says sounding slightly hurt.

"It doesn't matter…..all I have heard is you've slept around with almost the entire damn roster!"

"Oh my god. That can't be… could he have told?" He? What the hell is he talking about?

"He? Shawn, who are you talking about?" I say, finally turning over to face him for the first time since he first came out of the bathroom. I don't see him attacking me for the comment I threw at him earlier, which may be a good thing, but yet, that is what I literally expect out of him-the guy can be like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off-literally!

"….Hunter…..I thought that was between he and I…..obviously that was a lie!" Tears suddenly well up in his eyes….oh man, is he about to cry? You can't tell me that this man, the Heart Break Kid, is about to cry! Come on, I must be dreaming! You know, usually I would love to see him hurt, but strangely enough, I'm not enjoying it now. It almost hurts me to see him sad, in fact.

"HUNTER! You've been sleeping-with-with Hunter?" I scratch my temple deep in thought. I can't be hearing this!

"Yes," he says, nodding his head, "we were with each other for only three months, but it was the greatest three months I had experienced up until that point in time. The only down side of that was well, with him, he always demanded control in bed….but last night….last night was different. You actually made me feel like I was truly something more than just someone's piece of ass. You made me feel like I was really wanted. With Hunter, however, I never got to experience that…..he was always so….so self centered. Like as if after the first night, he didn't really care….." He looks away solemnly.

"But I thought you just said that it was the best three months…?"

"It was….he took me places I have never been before. Like this one time we went to Paris. It was the greatest place I had ever been to….but while we were there, he would be away from our hotel for hours at a time….just leaving me to fend for myself inside the hotel room while he was off having his fun. I didn't find out until a few weeks after that trip happened that he was cheating on me with Kevin Nash."

"Oh my god…..damn, I'm sorry…." I mutter…what else am I supposed to tell him? That has to suck-even if I have hated his guts, I can still relate to him. He then turns to face me, and I face him and somehow it doesn't seem so bad as it did just a few minutes ago.

"Yea, and not only that, but when I was with him, he would demand that I sleep with other people while he watched… really made me feel uncomfortable." Well, hell! That explains a lot then. Maybe he isn't such a slut after all.

"Damn…..I'm sorry to hear that…."

"Tell me, Bret," he places his hand on top of mine and continues, "If I was with you, would you ever do that to me?" If I was with him? I have never even thought of that possibility! What is making me think this way? Is it lust? Is it love-NO I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT! Well, whatever it is…it seems to be making a difference because for one reason or another, I answer him, as honestly as I can manage.

"Uh….well when I'm with someone, I usually let them have an equal amount of control….no one takes too much of it. I respect my partners….no matter what."

"You actually mean that?"

"Yes, I do." Oh man, what am I thinking?

"You know, last night got me thinking…'re actually not all that bad of a guy…."

"I'm not?" Why is he telling me this? Don't tell me he is actually considering a relationship-oh no…by the look on his face….I think I'm in trouble….god, please help me.

"No, you're not….in fact, you are the best partner I have slept with…not to mention, the most respectful. Bret….please don't take this the wrong way but…." He leans in towards me and stares down at me straight in my eyes. It's almost intimidating at first, but as I continue to stare back, his eyes seem to sooth me. For whatever reason, I'm actually not feeling against him anymore.

"….But what?" I ask gently.

"….Last night, kissing you made me feel something inside that I haven't in so long. It made me feel-special, if that makes any sense to you. Can, can I kiss you?" Wow, it made him feel special inside, huh? Well since he put it that way…..

"…..If it makes you feel any more special inside, then I suppose you can….." His face gets unbearably close to mine to the point where I can't stand it any longer. I let his lips meet mine and we continue to kiss for several minutes. His lips feel soft to the touch and are almost irresistible for me to keep kissing! Finally we part and stare at each other for a few silent moments before he speaks up again.

"Bret," He sighs, "I have something I want to tell you."

"And that something is?"

"I, I love you…." He mutters slightly. I look up at him in shock, not knowing what to say. I mean, what do I say to something like that? I can't turn him away now! Eh, as I lie there and think for a little bit, I begin to think that maybe this won't be such a bad idea after all…maybe I will eventually end up wanting to go steady with him someday….after all, it's worth a shot, right? Knowing what was about to come out through my lips anyways, I decide to go on ahead and spill my guts.

"Shawn….I, I love you too….."

To Be Continued

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