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Things Left Unsaid
Sat May 13, 2006 7:41pm
67.53.4.112 (XFF: 80.235.42.23)

OOC: For the sake of my sanity, we'll pretend this lesson is one she took before their MRP. If we didn't do that, writing Jocelyn in a lesson might prove painful for all those involved, especially me. ;)



She had been spending more and more time with Kagita lately; ever since the woman had finally let her back into her life as a friend they had rarely been apart but for chores and lessons. After all, they had a lot of catching up to do now that they were speaking again. The Sea Folk woman had yet to tell Jocelyn what had happened in the ter'angreal novices were tested for Accepted in, and perhaps it was best that way. It was each woman's burden to bear she supposed, and she also had to suppose that only another Accepted could truly understand whatever pain in brought. Still, Jocelyn tried her best to be understanding. In a way, she actually did understand. She bore a pain few in the White Tower could sympathize with as well; her pain was the memories of being a damane so many years past, the knowledge that she had been a party to more deaths and ruined lives than she cared to number. She had made it her strength though, her reason to go on and do good, just as she supposed each Accepted had to eventually do with whatever it was that wounded them so deeply in the testing.

This afternoon found Jocelyn sitting in the Gardens and laughing at the story of a lesson Kagita had taught that morning. It wasn't that she was cruel or vindictive or anything like that, but it did amuse Jocelyn to hear what some of the more uppity novices had done in their lessons. The ones who had been nobles were particularly terrible, especially when they discovered that Jocelyn had been wearing white for ten years of her life. Girls had enrolled in the books and been raised to Accepted in half the time Jocelyn had been a novice, Kagita Aren din Tealyn being a prime example. Still, somehow theirs had been the rare friendship which had endured through the raising of one to the banded hems. It seemed so rare to see novices and Accepted together as friends in the White Tower; each group of men and women tended to stay among their own and let friendships in the other ranks fade away. Friendship shouldn't be based upon rank though, and through the pain of it all Jocelyn and Kagita had somehow managed to remain friends.

Yet, there were moments when Jocelyn had to wonder how their friendship had changed, moments when she caught Kagita watching her with that strange look in her brown eyes and she had simply stared back with a wry smile on her face and a questioning look in her own green eyes. The Atha'an Miere Accepted would snap out of her trance-like state quickly after that. Jocelyn often found herself wondering what the other woman was thinking at those moments, what caused that slightly distant look in her eyes. This, just now, had become one of those strange, awkward moments. This time though, Jocelyn smiled softly and shook her head fondly. "What is it Kagita?"

The Sea Folk girl literally jumped, her gaze falling to study the backs of tattooed hands. "What do you mean? I didn't say anything at all."

"You didn't have to. You were just staring a little strangely at me. I was concerned, that's all." Jocelyn's voice still carried that soft slur, the words coming slowly by the standards of these lands. Kagita had been drifting like this more and more often and it was beginning to grow mildly disconcerting to the Seanchan woman. It was a strange look and Jocelyn wasn't sure what it meant.

"Oh, I was just thinking; it's nothing important."

"Your testing?" The other woman nodded, but said nothing in reply. It was a subject she avoided with Jocelyn at all costs it seemed. No matter how many times Jocelyn had tried to draw the story from her, Kagita would evade the conversation and turn it to something which could allow her to escape to her studies. Today seemed to be no different.

"Isn't there a channeling lesson today, Jocelyn?" Kagita asked after a moment. "I thought Accepted Medaea was teaching it."

"There is," Jocelyn replied carefully, "but it's optional. I'm not required to attend or anything like that."

"I think you should." Kagita said quickly. Jocelyn looked at her in shock and flipped her long braid of brown hair behind her shoulder. "I mean, the more lessons you attend the sooner you'll be raised to Accepted, right?"

"I don't think lessons are really helping much anymore, Kagita, but I'll go." Jocelyn conceded as she rose and smoothed white skirts over a boyish frame, brushing the dirt off in the process. "I'll see you later though, right?" Kagita nodded and waved her away urgently to a roll of the Seanchan novice's pale green eyes. Kagita wasn't telling her something, whether it was something about her experience during the test or something else, but whatever it was seemed to pull at the other woman's thoughts whenever Jocelyn was around. Of course, maybe it was something better left unsaid, something neither of them wanted to hear.

The lesson wasn't far away, just in the Southern Gardens, so Jocelyn got there quickly and arrived just before the lesson was going to begin. The Accepted, Medaea, had been a novice with Jocelyn before she was raised. She thought they might have even had a lesson together, but she wasn't sure. The other Accepted was one Jocelyn didn't know, but she expected she would find out soon. Approaching the pair she made a curtsey with murmured greetings before introducing herself. "I am Novice Jocelyn Selle, Accepted." With another slight bob of a curtsey she went to find an unoccupied stool to sit on.

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