Cast It All Away
Sun Jan 14, 2007 11:38 (XFF:

Dia considered very carefully if she truly did wish to voice any of the myriad of questions bubbling in the back of her mind. Somehow, after listening to Madeline Sedai’s response, it just didn’t seem appropriate to ask how the food was. Or if the beds were soft. Or what exactly learning humility entailed. Oh, Dia understood the concept of chores; she had seen many a servant who served House Saighan, and she could recall – if vaguely – how their tasks had progressed. It left little doubt in her mind however, that initially, the chores she would be required to do as a Novice would not pass easily for her.

Here, child, you can begin anew. Your old life is over. You are beginning on a level playing field, so that your worth is no more or less than any other novice. Here, a queen in novice whites has no more power than the meanest peasant. That phrase in particular had resonated with something deep inside of her that she could not name. She felt a warm sort of relief that her House would not play a part in her life here…and yet, while the idea of this unbiased equality was uplifting, Dia found herself struggling to truly believe. She did not doubt Madeline Sedai’s words; the Mistress of Novices had addressed her with an honesty and kindness beyond that of her own family. Having been born and raised in Cairhien, Dia was beginning to find that some aspects of The Great Game were hard to leave behind. How distasteful.

Golden-hazel eyes glanced down briefly at the small book held in her equally small hands. A moment more passed in frenzied thought as she traced over the leather surface, sworls of texture passing beneath her fingertips as she followed the letters denoted by silver thread.

One final question that she wished to voice, but would not. For the second time since arriving at the White Tower, her ‘potential’ had been pointed out to her again. What was this potential that the Aes Sedai saw in her? And how could they tell? Madeline Sedai had said to ask any questions if she had them…the Aes Sedai had said so. So why was she hesitating? Dia sighed inwardly at herself. What was wrong with her? Of all the times she had nattered at Melina and others with her endless array of queries, this was the one instance in which she felt too foolish to ask?

Well girl if you’ve gone mute, don’t take up any more of the Aes Sedai’s time. The mindvoice that snipped at her sounded too much like Lady Amerlis for Dia’s comfort. A small part of her reacting to the mindvoice wanted to draw this out as long as possible, if nothing else to spite the nagging that sounded like her mother. The rest of her realized that it would probably not be wise to waste Madeline Sedai’s time, nor did she think that Aranisia Sedai would appreciate it either.

Very slowly, Dia reached up into her hair and managed to undo the clasp of fine gold with minimal fumbling. The warm golden jewel winked at her as she gently pulled the kesiera away from her forehead, wincing as the thin chain caught raven strands in several places before she managed to tug it free. Curiously, her thoughts stilled, and there was an unusual sort of calm and quiet within the confines of her skull. It was as if her mind waited in hushed anticipation for this moment to pass.

With a sort of finality that felt right, Dia brushed her thumb over the faintly luminescent gem before placing it on the very edge of Madeline Sedai’s desk. She nudged it closer to the voluminous book that held the newest Novice name – her name – and shook her head before speaking with far more composure than she felt.

“No, Madeline Sedai, I have no questions.” She exhaled quietly and managed a faint smile as she looked first to the Mistress of Novices, then to Aranisia Sedai. “I am ready.”

  • Determination of WorthMadeline Sedai, MoN, Sun Dec 17 16:03
    The tale was told simply, with no frills or frosting, and the telling of it tugged at Madeline’s heart strings. In some ways, it was as sad as any tale of poverty and hardship and woe. Even worse, it ... more
    • Cast It All Away — Novice Diyari, Sun Jan 14 11:38
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