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I know nothing's ever easy, but this is ridiculous!
Mon Aug 7, 2006 16:36 (XFF:

When Afailla finally felt that she was focused enough to open her eyes, she saw that the Dedicated was watching her expectantly, and the nod of approval and slight compliment made her sit up a little straighter. She hadn’t been expecting anything positive after her disastrous first impression. But then her concentration wavered again, and she had to work to get it back. Finally, she had found that state of relaxation once more, and as she tuned into what Reese was saying, she found herself following her instructions almost automatically.

”Now, I want you to think of a flower bud. Just a single bud.”

Afailla closed her eyes again and did as she was told, picturing a flower bud. She didn’t know what kind of flower it was going to be – she started to think about it, but then remembered that she wasn’t supposed to be thinking. Stifling a sigh, she resigned herself to simply letting the image come, instead focusing simply on the bud. ”Just picture the flower bud, and focus on it until you know every part of it.” She concentrated on it until the image stayed without wavering, memorizing the lines, examining the few leaves she pictured with it, focusing on the stem, and finally the bud itself, with the yellow tips just visible peeking from beneath the greenery encasing it. ”Every leaf, vein, and petal.” She looked closely at the veins on the small part of the flower that was visible, examined every minute detail until she could think of nothing but the flower. ”Until you are the flower.”

When the image was burned into her mind, Afailla opened her eyes, and the picture seemed to burn in the background of her vision, always present. ”Are one with it. Keep trying until there is nothing but yourself and the flower bud.” After an indeterminable amount of time had passed, the woman finally felt comfortable with the image, felt that she could recall it at any time, that she knew its every detail. When she decided this, she nodded slowly, holding the image firm. And the Dedicated moved on.

”See the light?” She hadn’t noticed it before, but as she closed her eyes again, she did notice a faint glow, just out of her reach, but it seemed to be pulsing from some unknown source. ”That is the One Power. Let it fall onto the petals of the bud, causing them to open to it as it would the sun.” Afailla did as she was told, watching the light pour into the bud, watching the flower slowly bloom and stretch its brilliant yellow petals to it, straining for more light and drinking in all that it could get. ”Let the light wash over you and through you, helping you to grow.”

She could feel the light, seeping into her, a warmth slowly - ”WATCH IT, MORON!” Her eyes shot open, the image lost, at the sudden shout from nearby. A couple of Soldiers were bickering, but before long they were being herded off by superiors and the relative silence had settled once again. With a sigh, Afailla began again, starting from scratch.

This time, her mind emptied in a relatively short amount of time, and she drew up the flower bud again, starting over – picturing it, memorizing it, letting her awareness sink into it until it seemed that she was the flower bud. And then came the light, soaking into it, causing the flower to bloom and grow, always straining for more . . .. Afailla could feel the warmth, almost as though she were the flower in truth, could feel herself growing . . .. She reached . . . and the light was gone, the warmth absent. Blinking, she looked at the Dedicated, a bit confused. “What happened?” Reese reassured her and told her to start again, so Afailla did. Once more, she cleared her mind – this time was a bit more difficult, because she was a bit frustrated at being denied success the first time she tried – and pictured the flower. Again, she saw the light, felt it pouring into her, and through her, and she could feel herself growing . . .. She reached for more, and . . ..

“This isn’t working.” With a frustrated sigh, Afailla opened her eyes and scowled down at her hands, folded in her lap. Why wasn’t this working? She was doing everything the Dedicated had said . . .. She was commanded to once again keep trying, so she did. She wanted to succeed, after all. Eyes closed, Afailla emptied her mind of the quickly building frustration, calmed herself, and started with the flower again. There was a bud. No, she was the bud. The bud opened to the light . . .. She could feel the warmth, the light . . .. It began to seep into her . . ..

And then, all at once, something changed – something that wasn’t as subtle as she might have expected. With a little gasp, Afailla’s eyes shot open, and with that break in concentration, it was gone. For one brief, shining moment, she’d felt truly alive, and then it was gone. It was nearly enough to make her cry – the sweet feeling of true awareness had come just long enough to taunt her, and then it had slipped between her fingers. Scowling, the Shienaran reached up to shove her hair behind her ears, and her hand came away damp. How long had she been out here? She was sweating rather profusely from the amount of effort this was taking, even though she was in the shade and sitting down without moving.

Now that she’d tasted saidar, she wasn’t about to give up. Furiously, she squeezed her eyes shut again and tried to clear her mind, but the hunger wouldn’t leave her thoughts, and finally she was forced to open her eyes again and look at the Dedicated, who seemed to be watching her expectantly. “I had it,” she muttered, “but. . ..”

OOC: There ya go; hope that makes up for the sucky last one. Figured I might make it interesting, at least . . .. ^_^

  • Deep Down, We're All Just a Bunch of Flower BudsReese Laejah, Mon Aug 7 14:12
    Thoughts of Arad Doman kept flickering through Reese’s mind as she watched the young Shienaran slowly lose the tension in her shoulders. She pushed them aside, stubbornly, knowing that there was no... more
    • I know nothing's ever easy, but this is ridiculous! — Soldier Afailla Dafrin, Mon Aug 7 16:36
      • You Might Be Quiet, But Your Stomach Sure is LoudReese Laejah, Mon Aug 7 21:44
        Reese saw the flare of light around Afailla for an instant, and then it was gone. She schooled her expression, though, keeping the pity from it. She knew how it felt to have saidar flooding through... more
        • I think I could eat a horse!Soldier Afailla Dafrin, Tue Aug 8 06:56
          Afailla listened closely to everything her instructor said, trying her best to commit it to memory, so that even if it didn’t make sense at just that moment, she’d be able to mull it over later and... more
          • Where the River Goes, the Wind BlowsReese Laejah, Tue Aug 8 10:19
            For her part, the young Dedicated had returned to her rooms, and for the majority of the small break had merely sat, sipping from a chipped ceramic cup. The tea she had brewed was as near to perfect... more
            • Autumn breezes.Soldier Afailla Dafrin, Tue Aug 8 17:04
              Once she’d managed to get over choking, Afailla could smile at the Dedicated and answer her questions with relative ease. “Yes, Dedicated Reese – quite enough.” That wasn’t exactly the truth, but she ... more
              • Credit!Renee, Tue Aug 8 17:40
                And to answer your question, yes, she can channel all she wants. Obviously, if she doesn't have the strength to do something then it's not possible -- or if she hasn't been shown a complicated weave. ... more
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