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To Know the Drug
Sun Jul 23, 2006 21:04
71.32.101.43 (XFF: 192.168.1.3)

Reyna took on a concentrated look as Laila lectured her once more. She took it in as best she could, retaining all the information about the Source the Dedicated was reciting to her. At the end of the lecture Reyna nodded, more to herself than for the Dedicated.

It was time to try embracing, and Reyna was overcome with anxious excitement. There was a small itch in her mind that nagged at her. What if she failed? What if they kicked her out of the Black Tower on her first day saying she wasn’t capable of training or some other reason that crossed her mind. She did not want to leave.

A wave of determination settled over her, and she listened as Laila began instructing her in an exercise that would help Reyna embrace saidar. “Close your eyes, please.” Laila complied to her own instructions, and Reyna could only comply as well. The determination that now pumped through her making it easier to follow the Dedicated’s directions, no matter how absurd they may sound to Reyna, or how foolish she felt in doing so.

Laila continued in her instruction, “Imagine yourself as a flowerbud. It doesn’t matter what kind–simply pick a flower.” Reyna felt much less foolish when she could imagine something in her mind. To anyone watching she was just sitting on the ground with her eyes closed.

Reyna had little experience with flowers, not that she didn’t enjoy their beauty when she could, but she just never saw many. In fact, the most flowers she had ever seen had to be in the very garden outside the barracks. Maybe she had seen some on her journey through Murandy and Andor, but not so many as here.

Of the few flowers she could conjure up in her mind, there was one that seemed to stick. It was a memory of her childhood. Her mother and herself used to pick them all the time. They were beautiful in Reyna’s mind. Wonderful, yellowish flowers, one petal hanging down and the rest upwards when it was in bloom. There were filaments emerging from it’s center holding golden yellow anthers where all the pollen was held. It was always such a treat when her mother would take her out to pick them.

When one put their mouth to it’s bottom and sucked, it was a lovely taste of sugar and sweetness. It was a small burst of it, and it always delighted the small Reyna so. This was the flower she chose. If she recalled right, it was called a Honeysuckle.

She pictured it clearly in her mind, and she swelled with happiness at the memory. The instruction continued, and Reyna was forced to imagine the bud closed, it’s sweetness locked up tight within. It was a single flower in the middle of a black canvas.

And still, Laila continued in her instruction. "The sun begins to rise. You feel the warmth on your petals. Open yourself to the sun. Open yourself to saidar. You must surrender yourself first."

These instructions seemed simple enough for Reyna. It didn’t seem much different from what she had gone through at one point in her life. Having to surrender to the world around her and embrace her life as it was. There was no way she could change it, so all that she could do was accept it. Similarly, she could not know the sweetness that was inside that flower unless it was in bloom. So, in accordance with Laila’s direction, Reyna waited for what should be the sun to rise. It was a long time in coming it seemed, but it finally came. Bright and lovely.

Reyna waited, the flower would open for the sun as surely as any other flower. If the sun could not open the bud, then she would never know the sweetness within. It was a surprise when the flower slowly began to bloom. Embracing the warmth that was the sun. That was saidar.

Having nothing to compare the experience to, Reyna did not think it odd that she was capable of embracing on her first try. Later on she would discover that it didn’t always come so easily, but in this moment, that was of no worry to her. She was filled with it. Such a bliss as she had never known. It was the most exciting feeling she had ever experienced. It flowed in her like the light of salvation, her hope, her only reason for living.

Caught up in the experience, Reyna forgot the simple warning of Laila she had heard only a moment before and reveled in the feeling. Unfortunately, all good things must end. The blissfulness slipped away unwillingly, and Reyna regretted the loss. Suddenly, recollection of the warning returned and she was aware of the danger of which the dedicated had spoken.

Reyna opened her eyes and found herself sitting in the same place across from Laila. It seemed like it should somehow be different, but it wasn’t. When Laila questioned her, Reyna took a moment to collect her thoughts before relying.

“I know what you mean now...it is like a drug...” Reyna was a little disconcerted by the revelations she had found in saidar but at the same time still floated on the memory of what it had felt like to have it withing you. Reyna’s fears had left her the moment she had touched the Source for the first time, and they would not return in the same form. She knew she could do it, and that was enough to hold those fears at bay.

Still, Reyna was determined to continue on. “Yes...I’d like to try again...” She waited till Laila nodded her assent.

  • FlowersDedicated Laila, Sun Jul 23 11:27
    Laila tied off the weave of Fire and released saidar , reviewing Reyna's answers in her head. Murandy. Lugard. A new life in the Black Tower. The basics, nothing more. Laila didn't bother pressing... more
    • To Know the Drug — Soldier Reyna a'Nesae, Sun Jul 23 21:04
      • ElementsDedicated Laila, Mon Jul 31 21:10
        After they ran through the exercise several times, Laila waved a hand at Reyna to stop her. "You're doing very well, Reyna," she commented, with the slightest smile. "Most don't get the hang of it so ... more
        • An Interest In SpiritSoldier Reyna a'Nesae, Sat Aug 5 20:29
          At a motion from Laila, Reyna ceased the exercise and let the sweet feelings of saidar leave her. Already, she loved the way it made her feel, the way it sharpened the world around her to such a... more
          • Breakfast Time!Dedicated Laila, Sun Aug 27 19:09
            The sky had brightened from the deep blue of pre-dawn to the sunny skies of early morning. Rays of sunshine danced across the grass, wet with dew. Already the grounds grew warm with late summer heat; ... more
            • Quite the ChefSoldier Reyna a'Nesae, Wed Aug 30 22:09
              Reyna watched the ball of fire that had provided light in the early morning dawn go out in the blink of an eye and smiled. She would be doing that very soon herself. As they walked over to the Mess,... more
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