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Try try try again and try no to kill yourself
Thu Aug 3, 2006 19:41
69.177.94.179 (XFF: 192.168.1.3)

Euriv finished with almost no breath after talking and discreetly sucked in air through his nose. The man, Zander, sat there simply smiling; it was beginning to unnerve him. He pushed the feeling aside as Zander spoke. "A Healer in our ranks eh? Been a while since one of those turned up. And Light knows we have needed them recently," he paused and seemed to ponder on that for a moment, "Well I suppose we had best get on with the lesson then." Zander said in a now terse manner. Euriv nodded and straightened up on the bed.

He listened to the entire thing branding it into his memory. He wore a grim expression to the “risk being burned out and probably killing everyone in a certain last radius” part but thought on it no longer than it took for Zander to get to the next sentence ad instructions. “Now I want you to try and imagine the Void in your head, and then conjure up the flame. Then feed your emotions into the flame. And then reach out and battle Saidin. Don't forget that not everyone succeeds first time, and some take years to learn this. So take it one step at a time and go at your own pace. And don't be disheartened if you fail, merely try again" Zander finished and sat back to watch Euriv.

“Yeah no pressure.” Euriv said sourly looking like he sucked on a lemon. He summed up the instructions in his min as if the words were three-dimensional. ‘Imagine that you are alone, floating in nothingness. Around you there is a darkness so deep that not even light exists within it. It encompasses everything in nothingness.’ Void, an appropriate name it was. He started by calming his body, which was hard being that he was nervous in the first place. He relaxed himself starting from his feet and hands to his head and than like back again just to make sure. The only muscles that he had trouble with were his facial ones. The strain was semi obvious in trying to control a body that would much rather jump around.

Euriv summed up darkness in his mind; pitch darkness like his room with a shut door on a New Moon. Nothing moved, nothing stirred, nothing breathed but him. This darkness this separation from self was comforting and quiet but very fragile. He could sense that even one stir could send him flying out of this Void. With time he might get it faster and keep it longer but this was like a barley-developed eggshell. He had to go on anyway. He formed a flame, a drop of his on imaginative flame, a pure drop of some radiant burning gem. In a fraction of a second the light it gave of shattered the small hold that he had in the void and he snapped back to himself with a gasp.

He was not discouraged in the least being that he knew he could get there, to the Void, again. He could feel… know that that sanctuary would be easier to get to the next time and so on. He relaxed himself once again and assumed the Void… Three tries and 10 minutes later a bead of sweat dropped from Euriv’s forehead. Every time he added the flame it took longer for him to lose the void but he still lost it. The light of the room coming through the windows was interfering with its forming but within the void he gained confidence; it felt easier to maintain, easier to hold, until he put in the flame.
He was frustrated and that added to the problems hindering him from the Void.

He assumed the Void once more; it still felt brittle but not so bad as the first time. This time he decided to change the flame he was forming in the Void. From the brilliant flame he first made to something that one would see on a regular campfire. Dull and flickering but there, the new flame did not break the Void. Happiness skittered through the Void nearly tearing it from him. ‘Take everything that you are thinking about, everything you are feeling and emoting. You must gather it all up and fling it into an imagined flame within the Void. You must feed the flame until there is nothing but your thoughts left with you as you float with the flame in the Void.’ Zander’s instructions came to him trough the Void but did nothing to disrupt it.

He seized all the doubts, any happiness, guild, frustration, anguish, anything, any emotion, anything at all but his thoughts he fed into the flame to watch them burn. He felt as stone empty, unfeeling stone and something else like something other than the light of the flame. Awareness of a glow on the edge of his vision; something large, massive, incomprehensible, warm was there for only a second before the Void crumbled. He was hit by re-awareness of the emotions he had put to the flame and realization of what that was that he felt. Sadin!

Euriv once again assumed the Void, this time cautiously. Remembering Zander’s words of warning about Sadin and the struggle to grasp and control it. He momentarily floated there, in the Void, feeling the detachment from self; thinking, and feeling nervous. This was a big change in his life from living normally to living with the power of Sadin. The thoughts slid across the Void but he shoed them off quickly. He again became aware of Zander’s presence and the fact that he had not said anything of his progress in the thirty minutes he had be trying to hold the Void, hold the flame, and see and seize Sadin.

Once again he formed the flame within the Void and slowly threw his emotions into it seeing the flame grow, yet stay the same, and crackle yet making no noise. He could feel himself turning to stone again and the awareness of Sadin came again. He slowly reached for it, closer and closer until he was right there. Like a man who had wandered the largest most arid desert and finding an oasis with the Water of Life only to find that every time he cupped his hands for a drink the water sifted away before touching his lips. Euriv’s “hands” tried to grasp the sweet, seemingly liquid, joy and life that was Sadin in vain. He could feel it but nothing more. Again and again getting nothing more than building frustration. NO! He had to remain in control, the object was to seize and tame Sadin not be overcome with the desire to hold it and die.

Delicately, slowly, carefully, he formed a bridge between himself and Sadin with a mental dam in the middle to block out more than he wanted. As soon as the bridge was completed Sadin rushed down at him, narrowly being stopped by the dam. What Sadin he let to himself rocked him nearly shattering both the damn and the Void. He was hit by a wave of joy and sweetness, raw molten earth and icy death. Sadin coursed through his every cell, his skin tingled with the sensation. He felt like he was wrestling a bull that had just been branded even with the small steady amount he let through. He hung on for dear life, which to him seemed less of an expression at the time, which was funny because he had never felt so alive in his life, never! He reveled in the feeling and felt that it was easier to hold Sadin although this was all he was going to hold even though he wanted to hold more. He sat and waited for Zander to do something, anything. Euriv was nervous before, he was hyper now; waiting seconds he felt would be a saintly act.




OCC: Yeah its ok. Anyway the post is 1316 words, is that enough lol. it should be anyway eels right to make a first post on seizing sadin a LONG one.

  • Emptiness and War...Dedicated Zander Kilgas, Tue Aug 1 15:00
    Zander listened to what the man had to say. His eyebrows rose slightly at his mention of his knowledge at healing and such practises. He filed it away in his mind for future use. He was often... more
    • Try try try again and try no to kill yourself — Soldier Euriv al'Deron, Thu Aug 3 19:41
      • Finality and a New FaceAsha'man Chogan, MuC, Fri Sep 8 13:14
        Chogan did not teach. Not under usual conditions, anyway, though conditions such as these could hardly be termed “usual.” He, for one, did not abide by the use of teaching as a punishment. It was... more
        • Threads of FateSoldier Euriv al'Deron, Sat Sep 9 20:41
          Balanced on a hair, a razors edge, Euriv held sadin like a volatile concoction that when mixed with carelessness exploded in ones face. As if he hadn’t been rushed enough to get to the source than a... more
          • Credit!Mark, Sat Sep 9 21:30
            Good job. *grins* You now have seizing credit. Also, just for future reference, it's spelled " saidin " as opposed to " sadin ." Congrats! /|\Mark
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