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Under New Management (2 of 2)
Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:17pm


“Careful with those boxes, ladies.” Sarge barked. He’d placed himself in charge of moving Damien’s furniture in and attacked the job with gusto. Every unfortunate soul he laid eyes on that morning had been drafted into the effort and the old reploid marshaled them like a tyrant. “If any of the general’s property gets damaged you’ll all be pulling latrine duty for a month!”

Before Damien lifted off he’d dumped a small cargo hold full of unusual personal items on the SG quad. The pile included antique weapons, several oil paintings, a wardrobe filled with gothic clothing, rugs made from the skins of extinct animals, moldy leatherbound books, an enormous baroque desk, and much more. Some of it they couldn't even identify.

One of the laborers that had been pressed into service that morning was Tycho Sanders, student of Dopplertown University and official FR intern. Beneath the stuffed head of an albino tiger he discovered a thin rectangular box of red mahogany slightly over a foot long. Upon it was affixed a brass plate inscribed words in a language Tycho didn't recognize. Having slept through the lecture on Pandora in his Ancient History class, curiosity overcame the young human and he opened the box.

At first he found its contents very underwhelming. Inside was an intricately carved white stick resting on black velvet. Closer inspection, however, suggested that the stick was in fact made of ivory or possibly even bone. It almost looked like… a wand!

“Hey Vier, check this out!” Tycho exclaimed, holding it up for the German merc to see.

Vier, who had also been pressed into service that morning, squinted at the strange stick and asked in her native language “Was ist das?”

From the other side of the pile Sarge spotted Tycho holding up the wand and shouted “Sanders, you idiot, that’s not a toy!”, but it was too late. In an attempt to demonstrate what the object was, the young human pointed it at Vier and spoke the words “Presto-Changeo!”

A ring of white light exploded from the tip of the wand. The ring expanded like a sonic boom, knocking down Vier, Sarge and all the other reploids on the quad. The human were unaffected.


There were some things that Maq loved about being a reploid. One was that she could eat all the cheesecake she wanted without losing her flawless figure. Cookie was famous for his cheesecake and Maq had missed it terribly during her time away. Being her first day back at the SG, it was all she wanted for to eat for lunch and she was already finishing off her third slice.

“Nice to have you back, ma’am!” one the friendlier mercs said as he passed her table in the bar.

“That’s Captain Crasher to you.” Maq said and used her fork to flick a piece of crust at him. By that time she was already half drunk on vodka. They were all still celebration, after all.

Suddenly shouts erupted from the far side of the bar. Maq looked towards that side of the room just in time to see a wall of white light rushing towards her like the foam of a tidal wave. When it hit her the world went black.


When Cross woke up he didn’t know what had happened. One minute he was listening to a Dio album and then everything went dark. Now he was standing outside at the edge of the Stomping Grounds. Nearby, the vehicle hangars looked much smaller than they usually did. Panic struck Cross as he realized he couldn’t feel his legs. The panic turned to terror when he looked down and saw that now instead of legs he had giant tank treads. In fact, his entire body was now like that of a machine with claw-like pinchers for hands.


He tried to run, but instead he rolled forward and crashed through a fence.


Uncoordinated in this new body, Cross clumsily knocked over a small building.


One of the human grease monkeys from the garage jogged out and shouted “Auger, what’s the matter?”

“Auger?!? I’m not Auger, I’m Cross! What happened to me?!?” Cross grabbed the mechanic with his two massive claws and shook the little man until he passed out. “Do something!!!”

In his excitement Cross accidentally fired one of his colossal Mark IV plasma canons. The blast vaporized a tool shed. Cross stopped screaming, distracted by this new surprise. He fired the gigantic weapon a second time to test it out. This time it transformed a metal sign into a smoking crater the size of a truck. He then fired off two rockets that turned a patch of the desert into a field of dirty glass.

Drunk with newfound power, Cross began firing his huge, fully automatic Phalanx cannons into the air as if to kill the clouds. The deafening sound boomed like thunder and he began screaming again.



At first Maq thought that she had been struck blind. It wasn’t until she spotted the glow of a nearby computer terminal that she realized she could see just fine but that the lights that were off. After a moment of feeling around the merc captain managed to find a light switch and discover that she was standing in someone else’s quarters. Someone messy who had very little furniture and even less taste.

Maq didn’t know how she’d gotten there, but did know that something was very wrong. Back at the bar she’d been buzzed on vodka and cheesecake. Now she felt sober as a judge on Sunday. How much time had passed? Needing information, Maq moved to the computer terminal and then froze. Against the glass of the computer’s screen she spotted her own reflection… and it was Kail’s face staring back at her.

Looking down she found that it was not an optical illusion. She would recognize that black tank top anywhere. Somehow Maq was now in Kail’s body.

"I'm not even back at the SG for a full day..." she groaned inwardly.

Rushing to the bathroom, Maq inspected herself more closely in the mirror. She touched her face, making sure that the gray skin and strange eyes were indeed her own. It was like a dream, or a nightmare, but the captain was too experienced to lose her head. Obviously that white energy wave that hit her had done something to place her mind into Kail’s body.

There was no need to panic. In fact, it might even be fun to run around in the assassin’s body for a while. Maq suddenly grew amused at the thought of putting on a dress, but in the closet all she found was Kail’s armor. The sleek black costume proved more complicated than she suspected and it took over thirty minutes of arduous struggle to get it all on. Finding the helmet too hard to breath in she discarded it. Once suited up, Maq took another few minutes to admire herself in the mirror and play with the gauntlet blades. She then headed out into the world.

The Stomping Grounds was in pandemonium. Fear and confusion reigned as the minds of every reploid had been randomly swapped. It was like an Old Testament Bible story come to life. Only the biologicals appeared unaltered by the change. Mabs, for instance, sat on the ground studying the activities of some ants, totally oblivious to the chaos all around her.

As Maq passed by, the alien girl gazed up with adoring eyes and greeted “Hello Kail.”

“Hi, Mabs.” Maq returned.

Mabs looked shocked. “You… you spoke to me…”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

In two shakes the alien girl was on her clawed feet and planting kisses all over Kail's face.

“I always knew you’d come around!” Mabs gushed between kisses. “At last our love will be complete!”

“Hey, stop it!” Maq exclaimed, shoving the extraterrestrial away.

Mabs gazed at the other with hurt eyes.

Now Maq felt bad. For years she’d kind of pitied the alien girl. It was her misfortune to be in love (or at least lust) with a person who didn’t seem to love anyone but himself. Plenty of the other mercs would have enthusiastically returned Mabs' lavish affections. Her barely covered physical form was extremely desirable by Earth standards: slender body, full breasts, pretty face and large soulful eyes. The only thing that kept the male mercs from persuing her was the alien girl's unorthodox behavior. Mabs sometimes held conversations with inanimate objections, and once had even devoured an entire crate of ammunition like it was a snack.

Maq suddenly realized that this was perhaps the only time that poor Mabs would ever find Kail willing to accept her advances. Struck by the desire to do a good deed, the captain stretched her arms wide and declared to the extraterrestrial “Okay, Mabs. I’m all yours.”

The alien girl gasped, squealed, and then tackled Maq to the ground with the force of a speeding gravcycle. She started to regret her decision the instant Mabs began dragging her away to private quarters. It had taken Maq thirty minutes to put on Kail’s armor. It only took Mabs one minute to rip it all off.


NRP - I know this isn't exactly a mission, but I hope you guys will have a lot of fun with the scenario.

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