Demios
A trilogy?
Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:02pm
67.166.240.15

Most of that is fair. I will say though... The technical fight scenes are written the way they are because I have a lot of fun writing them that way.

You're absolutely right that I could spend more time using them for characterization. I don't think I would have even thought of her seeing human eyes and reacting like that. I guess I need to put some of my usual creativity in this direction.

As for Cover killing children and all that, I didn't want to spend too much time on it. It's an important part of Cover's background but he's also telling the abridged version. And yes, there are a few things he may or may not have left out.

However, Aurora isn't that innocent. She knew what she was doing when she went to stab those folks. She mowed down those mutants that were attacking the SG without really a second thought. The impact as more supposed to be her realizing her own mortality. She killed those guys fairly easily but it could have been her on the end of the knife.

At least, this scene anyway.

  • Review stuff the SEQUEL!Zeo, Thu Oct 21 5:48pm
    Demios, my friend, I don't know what you want me to say. You know I'm a fan of your stuff if only for the fact that there is always a base-line level of quality you rarely dip below. Your technical... more
    • A trilogy? — Demios, Thu Oct 21 11:02pm
      • Fair enough!Zeo, Thu Oct 21 11:16pm
        I knew you'd be the one to critique my critiquing! And I gotta be honest the whole eyes thing was a complete spur of the moment thing that right after I wrote it I read it and it sent a little shiver ... more
    • Do me next. (nm)LJB, Thu Oct 21 6:32pm
      • Bob you haven't written anything in...Zeo, Thu Oct 21 6:47pm
        What... 3 maybe 6 months? Besides I'm not sure I'm egotistical enough for all that. It'd be like the shrub critiquing the redwood.
        • *smirks*LJB, Thu Oct 21 6:58pm
          See, I knew you wouldn't.
          • So it's a CHALLENGE?Zeo, Thu Oct 21 7:22pm
            Well then. Have at thee sir and let slip the dogs of war! But you must return the favor eh!? And now I have to go dig up something you've written from the dusty and cobwebbed recesses of the site.... more
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