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Zeo
I DID!
Fri Oct 7, 2011 9:28pm
71.71.215.54

Just now!

To be honest I have a bevy of problems with it.

First off, the tri-dimensional backstory. Uh... Other than you've used this character in two different settings what's the point? It really doesn't fit our groove mang. You wanna be a time traveler? Fine! A wizard that has hibernated from the past? Groovy. But a tri-dimensional wish entity really stretches the boundaries of what I can believably read about.

Unless you were the Wishmaster. I could read about that gruesomely clever bastard all the damn time.

But I digress.

Other than that, your weaknesses and strengths don't add up in a way that makes sense so I'm going to say you need to narrow and streamline.

A daredevil who can "weave through crowds, leap off buildings, and avoid enemy attacks" despite being terminally clumsy and having the worst luck this side of Unlucky Pete? Oh and utterly afraid of heights? I just don't buy it. Pick one and stick with it.

The other necessary change is the absent-minded/determined thing. I almost would have let this slide but in the history you claim she is 'well organized.'

Um... WHAT!?

I am absent minded and despite my best efforts I can't stay organized for more than half a day! I ain't buying it.

Another thing is trading the arm strength for the leg strength. I'm good with her being weak in the arms but what's the point of making her legs EVEN STRONGER when she's already a Ranger-class reploid with an extra dash function? I just don't get it.

Her Buster appears to work fine. It's a two-fold system. Just call it what it is and leave it at that. Wasn't it Bass's buster that did rapid fire instead of charge? Anyways, no to that.

On the upside you don't need the stasis core thing. We've been writing that as normal for eons. Ain't gotta pay a dime for it.

Finally, with her backstory, um, the Freelance Reploids aren't going to give her a reason to fight. Unless "for money...duh." is a reason. Because that's all they fight for. That and occasionally revenge.

So go ahead and make some changes, or, if you're feeling prickly, I guess we could argue about my requests. If you reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally want to.

Cheers,

~Zeo

  • so...Foxxy, Fri Oct 7 1:02am
    Did anyone go over my sheet?? I'm still waiting for some sort of sign to see if I have to redo the damn thing or if I'm good to go.
    • I DID! — Zeo, Fri Oct 7 9:28pm
      • Speaking of which...Kaze, Sat Oct 8 11:58pm
        Does anyone even have the CC form anymore?
        • So...Lock, Tue Oct 11 9:25am
          Did we drop the whole time-travel plot line from the official story?
          • I didn't...Demios, Wed Oct 12 9:33am
            I'm just assuming it's over and done with. Everyone got back from their timeline adventures, etc. Demios got to spend a lot of quality time as a flesh and blood human, Aurora cut her teeth, etc. I,... more
            • That works too.Kaze, Fri Oct 14 1:42am
              Kaze brought back some refractor technology, and Shinsei made a (fake) name for herself as a 1920s Chicago gangster.
              • Welpfoxxy, Thu Oct 20 1:28pm
                So much for wanting to play an extremely complicated character. I'll just derp up a new character with a lot less shit to deal with. Just out of curiosity, exactly how much faster are interceptors... more
                • Nope.Hilton, Fri Oct 21 1:58am
                  I know I never post here anymore, but if you're going to just "derp up a new character" then just don't.
                  • Hilton! Zeo, Sat Oct 22 4:04pm
                    Good to see you old son! Foxxy, yeah it's basically what Hilton said. If you're going to act like a pill because I didn't agree with your tri-dimensional wish-entity character who is nothing but a... more
                    • A message for FoxxyThe Ghost of Christmas Past, Sun Oct 23 12:24am
                      Unhinge that meat mangler that you call a mouth and chow down on a big bowl of Honey Bunches of Dicks. It's nutritious and chock-full of all the vitamins a growing girl needs to create a... more
                    • On a more pressing matter.Lock, Sat Oct 22 10:31pm
                      Is anybody going to post?
                  • Hilton!Kaze, Fri Oct 21 2:37pm
                    You stodgy old bastard. Been forever. Post something!
          • Pretty much.Kaze, Wed Oct 12 1:20am
            And it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall a dream~
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