Christopher BlackwellThat though is the rare parentFri Oct 28, 2011 9:08pm70.41.154.181Seeker
That requires a thoughtful and caring parent, truly dedicated to what might be good for each child. Most of our parents are not at that level. Most barely raise their children at all, they expect someone else to do it and they not only have a great many excuses to justify their lack of parenting but point fingers of blame everywhere else, but themselves.
It was not that much different when I was a kid, fathers mostly avoided parenting at all and left that in the hands of their wives.That was okay if their wives were rather exceptional, but if they were not then the kids did suffer. My father worked overtime, mostly to stay away from home, but also for the excuse, leave dad alone, he is too tired to pay attention to you. That is except when he needed someone to bully and control then you got far more attention then you wanted and it usually ended up with you being screamed at, belittled or beaten. The joke of the matter was that he really had no more control of the situation at home then he had on his job. But he kept himself the center of attention by using fear and dread of him. All of us kids learned quickly to be anywhere but home if we could help it. The most dangerous place we had was always at home. Even school was not as dangerous as at home. But we all had our safe havens, in my case the library and reading. For that time we could forget that we had parents, and specifically a father.
Ah yes the golden fifties, the alleged good old days some would like to return us to. No way Jose. Ah yes the chain and knife fights in high school, the cars getting their tires slashed, while the principle informed us the only real problem in school was the lack of enough parking places for the students cars. Burnt out teachers desperately trying to hold out till retirement, meanwhile only teaching by rote, repeating the same lesson plan each year robotically, with total lack of imagination because that was one of the first things that burned out in a career teacher.
The good old days are only good if you are forgetful. And it was the real good old days that created today, and will create the future, with everyone longing for the past but with little hope for the future. No now is a lot more comfortable to me, though I am certain it is the same hell for the kids, especially in high school, that much rarely changes for the better. But in time you can forget most of it and become reasonably happy, by letting go of it instead of carrying it around with you.
- That though is the rare parent — Christopher Blackwell , Fri Oct 28 9:08pm
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