Hey guys, I'd like to offer myself up for consideration for Permission.
The details of my proposed agents are as follows;
Appearance: He stands just over 5’ 8” tall, with dark hair that he’s currently growing out long enough to tie back in a proper ponytail. He’s ex-military, and has continued to try and keep himself in good shape; more muscular than athletic, but less so than a full on bodybuilder. Has let himself go around the stomach region, due to the quantity of full English breakfasts he consumes, and his preference for weightlifting rather than aerobic exercise.
Personality: Quite organized and serious for the most part, although he does like to occasionally mess with people’s heads ‘to maintain a healthy balance’. He is a firm believer in the right to a quick and painless end to a Sue, and would never advocate torture or prolonging their suffering. Because of this, he can react badly to characters being inflicted with un-canonical torture, or poorly done hurt/comfort etc. In the past, it has been useful for him to have a partner that is capable of physically restraining him, when dealing with those sorts of situations. Isn’t exactly vain, but is pleased with how he looks, and tries to use the disguise generator as little as possible, preferring to stay human and use the generator for providing appropriate clothing only. Believes that it is physically impossible to start the day without tea and a fried breakfast, and has become remarkably skilled at improvised cooking, seeing as the ‘kitchen’ in his RC only consists of a kettle, toaster and microwave.
History: Skeet is an ex-DIO member (although he has no knowledge of this himself, as he was neuralyzed after leaving), and is currently working for the Department of Mary Sues. Hailing from World One, he joined the PPC after filling in an online application form, assuming that it was just a joke. After returning one night from the pub, he found an agent and a portal to HQ waiting for him, his application being successful. He then found himself in front of the Marquis de Sod, slightly drunk, where he managed to land a position in the DMS, most likely due to his prior combat experience with the British Army, although his recollection of that conversation is quite hazy. Upon waking, his first thought was that he’d had a particularly strange dream, although his partner was able to easily convince him otherwise, as they were given a mission almost immediately. Details of his recruitment into the DIO, and his subsequent departure back into the DMS, are currently unknown. He is currently waiting to be assigned a new partner, and is under the neuralyzer-induced belief that this is because he allowed his former one to ‘retire’ into the LotR continuum after finishing an assignment there. There is a note in his personnel file which states that he is prohibited from using a neuralyzer, although he claims to have no memory of the incident that led to this rather unique ban.
Fandoms: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Battlestar Galactica, Department 19, Ghost in the Shell, Harry Potter, Hellsing, Highschool of the Dead, James Bond, Lord of the Rings, the Lost Fleet, NCIS, Neon Genesis Evangelion, the Old Kingdom, Tales of the Ketty Jay, Trigun, Wheel of Time. He is also a newly converted ‘brony’, although he hasn’t even admitted this fully to himself yet.
Department: DMS Freelance Division(currently only authorized to operate in the smaller fandoms).
Lust Objects: Rei Miyamoto (Highschool of the Dead), The Major (Ghost in the Shell), Ziva David (NCIS). Wonders what it says about his psyche that all of his L.O.s could probably take him in a fight. Also has strange L.O.-like tendencies around particular items of technology, most of which are Sci-Fi vehicles (in that he will want to go and see them regardless of how mission appropriate it is, and will get murderous if people mess with them).
Favorites: Vampires (non-sparkly), Mechs and other cool machines/vehicles/mechanical systems, gothic artwork and architecture.
Weapons: Prefers to use guns, and will take a crossbow over a longbow when in fantasy settings. Likes to keep at least one blade (preferably concealable) on him at all times. Is quite knowledge about a wide range of weapons.
Name: Amelia Renner
Appearance: 5’ 2” tall, with a skinny build (due to a lack of food rather than choice), with brown hair and eyes. Hates the fact that her hair and eyes are the same colour (and above all, brown) because she thinks it makes her look boring. Likes to wear bright colours and striped clothing, particularly leggings and skirts.
Personality: A little scatter-brained, and can be quite fangirly when excited; excitement may lead to her momentarily overcoming her usual shy nature around new people. She is aware that she may need to tone down such behavior (after being told off by the Marquis de Sod for hyperventilating at the thought of actually going inside the continua of her favourite stories), and is trying with a great deal of sincerity, if not much actual success. She comes from a rather poor family in World One, and has read a lot of fanfic because it is cheaper than books, and more convenient than libraries (which she still regards as one of the world’s greatest things). As such, she has a surprisingly high tolerance for badfic, and had even started reading one or two legendary badfic pieces before joining the PPC. Despite her joy upon discovering the idea of fanfic (stories about her favourite characters, but available for free whenever she wanted to read them), she was appalled at the quality of writing out there. While reading fanfic, she will quite happily ignore any level of OOCness, and does not resent the inclusion of OCs, as long as the stories are interesting, but has serious anger management problems when it comes to SPaG errors (as far as she is concerned people are free to reinterpret characters and add their own if they wish, as long as it makes for a good story, but there are RULES about writing, and there is no excuse for not following them!). Has a friendly and bubbly personality when around people she is comfortable with, although is very shy around new people, often failing to make a good first impression due to nerves. She is easily spooked, and tends to fall over when startled. Will treasure any gift given to her, especially if it is a good new book.
History: She has just joined the PPC; after dosing off at her computer in World One while reading a Harry Potter fanfic, she was rudely awakened by hitting the floor. At first assuming that she was in her home, she was greeted by the sight of a giant daisy in a pinstripe suit. An impartial observer (had there been one at the time), would have struggled to say who was more surprised; Amelia, or the Marquis de Sod (although the Marquis certainly recovered quicker). After her panic attack had subsided, and the Marquis was able to explain where she was, and the purpose of the PPC, she volunteered on the spot.
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Bleach, Narnia, Stratanavigte, Discworld.
Department: Just joined the PPC and has been assigned to DMS Freelance Division.
Lust Objects: Legolas, Aragorn (LotR), Vimes (Discworld), Snape, Sirius (Harry Potter), Prince Caspian (Narnia), Renji Abarai, Toshiro Hitsugaya (Bleach). Has a tendency to develop new ones at the drop of a hat, although most of these will short term crushes rather than full blown infatuations.
(As a beforehand note, I had this written up before VM posted, I was just working on the extensive 'concrit' stuff.) Okay.... A few comments, here and there. For one, line breaks between paragraphs... more
To address your comments: I will try to keep a better eye on my paragraph breaks. I'm glad you like both of my agents. As for Skeet not being allowed to use a neuralyzer, I'm currently intending on... more
First, congratulations! Your agents sound like a ton of fun, and your writing sample is entertaining, except for a few mechanical issues. VM says July is going to have some detailed concrit for you,... more
Firstly, I'm glad you like my agents. As for the semicolons, I honestly didn't realise I'd used that many. I'll try to keep an eye on them in the future, particularly when it comes to using them... more
Especially the "ambulatory pile" and repeated "concussing". There is one grammar problem: Skeet was so appalling bad at navigating HQ that he would likely starve before finding it unless someone took ... more
Thanks for pointing that out. I doubt very much that I would have spotted that by myself, because I knew what I'd intended to write and so just read that (to the extent that when I first read your... more