PPC Posting Board - I liked it.

Lease this WebApp and get rid of the ads.

Especially the "ambulatory pile" and repeated "concussing".

There is one grammar problem:

Skeet was so appalling bad at navigating HQ that he would likely starve before finding it unless someone took pity on him.

Should probably be:
Skeet was so appallingly bad at navigating HQ that he would likely starve before finding it unless someone took pity on him.

Just FYI. Appallingly describes bad which describes how adept Skeet is at navigating HQ.

Otherwise--congrats! And have a bag! It's black. Amelia's first black thing in the PPC.

Lease this WebApp and get rid of the ads.

Requesting Permission — the Irish Samurai, Sun May 6 2:19pm

Hey guys, I'd like to offer myself up for consideration for Permission. The details of my proposed agents are as follows; Name: Skeet Age: 25 Appearance: He stands just over 5’ 8” tall, with dark... more
- The aforementioned concrit. — JulyFlame, Sun May 6 9:39pm
  
  (As a beforehand note, I had this written up before VM posted, I was just working on the extensive 'concrit' stuff.) Okay.... A few comments, here and there. For one, line breaks between paragraphs... more
- - Thanks for the concrit — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 1:00pm
    
    To address your comments: I will try to keep a better eye on my paragraph breaks. I'm glad you like both of my agents. As for Skeet not being allowed to use a neuralyzer, I'm currently intending on... more
- About semicolons. — Neshomeh, Sun May 6 9:32pm
  
  First, congratulations! Your agents sound like a ton of fun, and your writing sample is entertaining, except for a few mechanical issues. VM says July is going to have some detailed concrit for you,... more
- - Wow, I had no idea I used that many — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:55am
    
    Firstly, I'm glad you like my agents. As for the semicolons, I honestly didn't realise I'd used that many. I'll try to keep an eye on them in the future, particularly when it comes to using them... more
  - - It's a general rule of thumb. — Mysterial, Mon May 7 1:56pm
      
      My english teacher told me the same thing. It isn't in any grammar book though, so you can be forgiven for not knowing.
    - - I heard it from a writer-friend, myself. (nm) — Neshomeh, Mon May 7 2:20pm
- I liked it. — Aeidhryn, Sun May 6 8:39pm
- - Re: I liked it. — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:48am
    
    Thanks for pointing that out. I doubt very much that I would have spotted that by myself, because I knew what I'd intended to write and so just read that (to the extent that when I first read your... more
  - About that... — JulyFlame, Sun May 6 9:44pm
    
    It is not a grammar problem. What you are describing is an intensifier. They are fun things, and not a grammar problems. -July, hoping to make people twitch with that sentence
  - - Whoops, ignore that... — JulyFlame, who should keep her glasses on, Sun May 6 9:51pm
      
      I didn't have my glasses on, so my eyes switched the two lines.
- Hullo! — VixenMage, Sun May 6 8:13pm
  
  Your agents are realistic and three-dimensional, and your writing is skillful and humorous. Granted! I believe JulyFlame has some concrit for you, so I shall leave that end of it to her. Good luck!
- - Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. (nm) — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:46am

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