PPC Posting Board - Re: I liked it.

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Thanks for pointing that out. I doubt very much that I would have spotted that by myself, because I knew what I'd intended to write and so just read that (to the extent that when I first read your post I thought the two sentences were the same, and only managed to track down the difference after noticing they were different lengths).

It's been a while since I've read about an agent trying to concuss himself (which always amused me in the Original Series). I guess that with the advent of Bleeprin and neuralyzers it isn't really needed anymore, but it seems that Skeet is just a little old-school in that regard.

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Requesting Permission — the Irish Samurai, Sun May 6 2:19pm

Hey guys, I'd like to offer myself up for consideration for Permission. The details of my proposed agents are as follows; Name: Skeet Age: 25 Appearance: He stands just over 5’ 8” tall, with dark... more
- The aforementioned concrit. — JulyFlame, Sun May 6 9:39pm
  
  (As a beforehand note, I had this written up before VM posted, I was just working on the extensive 'concrit' stuff.) Okay.... A few comments, here and there. For one, line breaks between paragraphs... more
- - Thanks for the concrit — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 1:00pm
    
    To address your comments: I will try to keep a better eye on my paragraph breaks. I'm glad you like both of my agents. As for Skeet not being allowed to use a neuralyzer, I'm currently intending on... more
- About semicolons. — Neshomeh, Sun May 6 9:32pm
  
  First, congratulations! Your agents sound like a ton of fun, and your writing sample is entertaining, except for a few mechanical issues. VM says July is going to have some detailed concrit for you,... more
- - Wow, I had no idea I used that many — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:55am
    
    Firstly, I'm glad you like my agents. As for the semicolons, I honestly didn't realise I'd used that many. I'll try to keep an eye on them in the future, particularly when it comes to using them... more
  - - It's a general rule of thumb. — Mysterial, Mon May 7 1:56pm
      
      My english teacher told me the same thing. It isn't in any grammar book though, so you can be forgiven for not knowing.
    - - I heard it from a writer-friend, myself. (nm) — Neshomeh, Mon May 7 2:20pm
- I liked it. — Aeidhryn, Sun May 6 8:39pm
  
  Especially the "ambulatory pile" and repeated "concussing". There is one grammar problem: Skeet was so appalling bad at navigating HQ that he would likely starve before finding it unless someone took ... more
- - Re: I liked it. — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:48am
  - About that... — JulyFlame, Sun May 6 9:44pm
    
    It is not a grammar problem. What you are describing is an intensifier. They are fun things, and not a grammar problems. -July, hoping to make people twitch with that sentence
  - - Whoops, ignore that... — JulyFlame, who should keep her glasses on, Sun May 6 9:51pm
      
      I didn't have my glasses on, so my eyes switched the two lines.
- Hullo! — VixenMage, Sun May 6 8:13pm
  
  Your agents are realistic and three-dimensional, and your writing is skillful and humorous. Granted! I believe JulyFlame has some concrit for you, so I shall leave that end of it to her. Good luck!
- - Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it. (nm) — the Irish Samurai, Mon May 7 11:46am

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