The reason I'm not counting Artell's response to my first question is that my first question didn't correctly convey my meaning. I know, and knew then, that I don't need anyone's permission to speak. What I actually wanted to know, as I explained in my second question, was whether it would be worth the effort. With all due respect to Maslab, he's just one person, and he wasn't one of the people who led the charge, so to speak. I wasn't willing to open myself to further accusations and censure from you, Artell, Cassie, Rilwen, HerrWozzeck, etc., on the assumption that Maslab was speaking for anyone but Maslab. The fact that you didn't feel the need to assure me I wasn't beyond redemption in your eyes is pretty discouraging, and that goes for everyone who spoke up after you, too.
I don't understand your insistence that communicating to Tray privately would have been better for Tray. (At least, I think that's what you mean.) It might have prevented the subsequent drama, at least the parts that happened on the Board, but in hindsight I don't think he would have taken it any better at the time.
As for waiting to say something until later, public or private, I would like to know when you think would have been an appropriate time. How long is long enough to wait without letting the incident in question fade too much from relevance? How can I know when the time is right, and that I won't just be rebuked for not letting old threads lie?
Also, I've stated that part of my reason for posting was that I didn't want to see non-Jacer people reduced to insults, condemnation, and other behaviors we claim not to want on the Board. Can you please tell me how you think I could have gotten across the message of "hey guys, let's not turn this thread into a flamefest" by waiting until later to say something, or by speaking to one or two people in private?
Finally, has anything I've said made any kind of positive impact at all? I can't read your mind, so please tell me. If the answer is "no," I can go find something else to do that won't make me frustrated, sad, and angry for no purpose.
You asked if you could defend yourself. Artell said you didn't need his permission. Artell even said that he knew that your post wasn't intended to incite the response it did. When you asked if you... more
(Please note: this was written immediately before I saw your post, but I don't think you have invalidated anything I said. Urrr, actually I may need an endnote...) This is how I see the above few... more
Mainly, the answer to your question: In the most general of terms , I do not believe being in an emotional state while posting is a free pass to not being immediately accountable for what you say. In ... more
"Anyway, the point of the story is that I get what a trigger is, and I get that they're real. I am skeptical of them when they start getting waved around like magic amulets that give the wielder the... more
Are you, or are you not, willing to ever forgive me for anything you think I've done wrong? If I try to answer you, is there any possibility it's going to do me any good, or is it just going to lead... more
I personally do not hate you nor likely ever will. I disagree with you on the matter of how you handled it and your rationale for it, but that does not mean I will not forgive you ever or that I have ... more
All that I can forgive, on my part, I forgive. I apologize since I probably didn't make that clear enough. I'm not sure what you mean by good faith. But I know and happily say that you are not a bad... more
I think the biggest difference between us at the time was how we understood (the former) Rule 1 in the Constitution. I think I explained my end, but if I didn't say this, I'll say now that I never... more
"When I say I would like to be taken in good faith, I mean that I would like to be able to post what I think without having implications and impressions read in where I have taken pains not to put... more
For whatever it's worth, I still have tremendous amounts of respect for you. I always read your posts not as a dismissal of Tray and Lielac or as a defense of Jacer, but as you asking people to step... more
If I may ask you something, though, I'm (still) wondering what you meant by telling Tungsten Monk that you don't qualify as mature. To me, it doesn't immediately align with you telling me that you do ... more
I do usually try to help diffuse arguments and generally be a reasonable person, as of late at least, but it is not a consistent thing. There are times when I feel that's it's not worth it, or that a ... more
Thank you, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to reach out to you before. I know you've been in the rough, too, and I suspect I've even made it rough for you at times. I know that recently my keel... more
It's alright. You've nothing to apologize to me for, at the least. Nobody can be one-hundred percent even-keeled at all times. I think everything that happened in the chat has cooled down, probably.... more
You've redeemed yourself - beyond redeemed yourself - in my eyes. Beyond just that, you've gone through emotional hell these last few weeks. You've been attacked by the community, you've done some... more
As far as I'm concerned, the only person that is in my bad graves in all of this is Jacer. The only thing I really see bad going on with anyone is simply a mistake in downplaying what happened. Not... more
Our basic philosophies are different in that mine doesn't include your third rule, but I understand it. And yeah, I didn't fully appreciate that Tray was feeling cornered right then. I didn't mean to ... more
I think you're putting my side more clearly than I did. At least, it all rings true for me. And, I will be back with a proper response tomorrow, because my brain is about out of juice for right now... more
It's good to know that I haven't misjudged you - I had assumed that you would answer that way, but all the words flying around about 'not the issue at hand' - from many people, not just you - led me... more