Something is bugging me about the writing samples, and I can't really pin down what. I think it might be a combination of little things, but I can't quite tease it out. Some of the dialogue feels off, I know that, and the flow of events can be a bit... jarring. Look back at the first sample; I think Shiny and Arden have four different conversations with barely a link between them. And the "suddenly illusion which solves everything" moment is very abrupt.
I don't know. Permission hat is off because I can't figure out what's bothering me.
(Also: "my card had grass and then I was transformed, therefore the RC that's just been assigned to us has grass" is, like, the worst chain of logic ever I think?)
Every time I think I'm out... Anyway, let's take a look at what we have here. 1) Are you known in the community? Yeah, I know your name, at least, and I'm barely considered to be here. 2) Can you... more
First off, the card I was basing Jace's character off is "Jace Beleren." Since that card didn't have a specific time period attached to it (other than after Alhammaret), I decided to make it right... more
1) Jace was a teenager when he fought Alhammaret. He is mid-20's when he first shows up on Lorwyn (where that card came from). There were years between those two points. Also, it looks like he is... more
I feel this is how PGs should always operate. Look at what's happened in this thread. The first PG to look at it couldn't pin down what was bothering him, so asked for someone else to look. The... more