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Not if that was all you ever did.
Thu Apr 20, 2017 12:27pm

But it's not.

Fortunately for all of us, we've gotten to see more of you on your good days than on your bad ones, so we know that's the exception, not the rule.

Making a good impression to start with is important. So is reaffirming it over and over again over the weeks, or months, or years. If you build up enough good interactions to outweigh the bad ones by a wide enough margin, then yes, people are going to be more likely to forgive the mistakes. That's just social math. It's a ratio you actively maintain through behavior, though, not a stamp that you get when you've hung around a certain number of years.

It wouldn't be fair to throw out all the good interactions we've had with a person when considering whether we want them around or not. That would be completely arbitrary and basically make good behavior meaningless. That's not a world I want to live in.


  • Just to briefly use myself as an example:Iximaz, Thu Apr 20 12:07pm
    Do you think people would have been so willing to forgive my meltdown in March if I hadn't been around as long as I had? That's what I meant by 'tenure'. A sort of immunity to behaviors that wouldn't ... more
    • I certainly hope so.Huinesoron, Thu Apr 20 12:51pm
      Here in the UK, there has for several years been active pushing of the 'it's okay to talk about mental health issues' message. So yes, I certainly hope that if a newbie had a meltdown of that kind,... more
    • Not if that was all you ever did. — Neshomeh, Thu Apr 20 12:27pm
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