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Alleb
Somewhere in the reaches of space...
Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:15am
64.147.226.41

The ISD Refiner was almost ready for her new crew: their quarters were prepared, the hangars stood clean and silent for their imminent arrival, the hold was full of consumables. Even the mess halls had fresh coats of paint. The entirety of the ship seemed to wait with bated breath, every detail in place, every hallway swept and gleaming.

Yes, the ISD Refiner was almost ready.

The same could not be said of its occupants.

“For the last time, boy, stop following me!” Darth Vader hissed, one hand on his lightsaber, the other pointed squarely at the mask of his grandchild.

“But—but Grandfather,” Kylo Ren said, edging forward slightly, trying—for the third time that hour—to proffer his own lightsaber, “Uncle Luke said you would sign it for me.”

“He lied,” the dark lord said. His finger shifted targets, moving from the erstwhile Solo child to the uniformed figure that had just walked onto the bridge. “You,” Vader said, his voice well into what any Imperial officer knew as “the death zone.” “I demand you return me to the SWFFA grounds immediately. They know how to treat a Lord of the Sith.” His grip on his lightsaber tightened, the leather of his glove creaking.

“Yep, nope, ain’t happening,” the figure said, her flippant tone contrasting sharply with the neat lines of her white uniform. “Lord Haven and SWFFA are going to be under repairs for quite a while yet. Until then, you and everyone else are stuck in here with me.” She grinned with far too much impudence for someone facing an irate Darth Vader. “Besides, this place will be filled to the gills with shrill, annoying fanwriters by this time tomorrow. You’ll have plenty of ways to vent your anger then.” She sat down in the command chair, ignoring Vader’s hiss of frustration as she scanned the datapad mounted on the arm. “Admiral Piett,” she asked, glancing to the side.

The admiral had been doing his best to become one with the background, but now, most unwillingly, stepped forward. “Yes, er, Tai’shar?” he asked, stumbling over the odd name.

“Coordinator Tai’shar, please,” she said. “At least until I find a better title. I don’t want the fanwriters getting into bad habits. Speaking of, send me that updated list of badficcers, if you would. I want to look over our new… recruits.”

“Aye, Coordinator,” Piett said, turning to his own datapad and tapping it a few times. “List sent.” He stepped back once more, doing his best to avoid any further attention.

“Thank you, Admiral.” Resting her chin on her hand, Tai’shar paged through the list, mentally tuning out the background noise of Kylo Ren’s next attempt at gaining Vader’s signature. It was the usual mix of plausible names, heartily implausible names, and rip-offs of canon characters. She determined, there and then, that every third fanwriter with numbers in their name would be immediately re-assigned to trash compactor cleaning duty, a duty she had, there and then, made up.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still scanning the list. “This,” she said, over the sound of Darth Vader’s lightsaber activating, “is going to be interesting.”

----------------------------------------------------------

In other words, badficcer personas: I need 'em!

To be more clear, this is the "registration" thread for the Star Wars Fan Fiction Academy, Secondary Location (otherwise known as SWFFA2). If you've written Star Wars badfic and want to register your previous badficcer self, or if you just like the idea of being in an OFU and want to create a badficcer self, post 'em below! They can be as much like or unlike you as you wish. Here's a brief form that you can use as a starting point (or ignore and just give a name and nothing else; honestly, either is fine, I just like having something to work with).

Name:

Age:

Description:

Lust Object (if applicable):

Light Side/Dark Side:

Notes:

So, there's that! Big thanks to Badger and Larfen for looking over my short story. Can't wait to see what you all come up with!

-Alleb

    • ApplicationLonelyStar, Fri Sep 1 10:43pm
      Name: Calls herself Estrelya Chara. Hates to admit that her real name is Annie Lynn. Age: 16 Chosen Race: Togruta Description: A young Togruta girl with crimson skin, ivory markings on her face and... more
    • Not getting many outright Dark Siders, are you?Zingenmir, Thu Aug 17 9:25am
      Let's fix that! Name: Si'Thar'Liss Ren-Vader!! Age: 17!!! Like Bella :)) Species: a beautiful mostly-human princess with the potential to be THE MOST POWERFUL SITH LORD EVER EVEN MORE THAN KYLO AND... more
    • My application:Silenthunder, Mon Aug 14 2:20pm
      Name: Serena Age: 18 Description: A hot light pink female Twi'lek. Lust Object (if applicable): Han Solo Light Side/Dark Side: Dark Side, even though I'm not a Jedi! Cos Dark Side is macho! Notes:... more
      • "Macho" says the pink Twi'lek. Alleb, Wed Aug 16 6:18pm
        I do have one question: What's the fanwriter behind this character like? Their real name, the kind of fics they write, that sort of thing? -Alleb
    • Let's give this a goThoth, Mon Aug 14 9:26am
      Name: Leo "Ironsides" Age: 18 Race: Human (Mandalorian) Description: A grey Jedi dual-wielding a silver lightsaber and a darksaber. And a rotary blaster. Also he has a jetpack. And he wears the cloak ... more
      • Edgy!Alleb, Wed Aug 16 6:16pm
        Pffft, I love this guy already. Thank you! Also, hello, newbie! Sorry I haven't commented on your thread--welcome to the PPC! My gift to you is a highly-fashionable cloak. Don't mind the sparkly... more
        • Re: Edgy!Thoth, Wed Aug 16 11:33pm
          Thanks for the cloak! A good bit of this came from a friend of mine. Including the name (I asked first). Not a real name, of course... Suffice to say, a good bit of description came from him - I... more
          • *appears*Grundleplith The Dorf, Mon Sep 18 6:42pm
            Such is my shame, I contributed the aforementioned concept for this blasterdization of a Mando.
    • Application!Jay - AC, Sat Aug 12 10:10pm
      Name: Arvinaz Perricos Age: 14 Description: A super-awesome (and tall and muscular) Lasat force-user, but not smelly like Zeb, with a bo-rifle that has a lightsaber mode along with the blaster and... more
      • You had me at "lightsaber mode."Alleb, Wed Aug 16 6:08pm
        Thank you very much! -Alleb
        • No prob!Jay - AC, Fri Aug 18 11:36pm
          I've been waiting for a SWFFA for such a long time. Bravo for picking it up, and good luck.
    • Just want to say kudos and good luck!Neshomeh, Sat Aug 12 10:07am
      And, because this idea literally just came to me, how would you like an AU tweeny!fanboy!Nume to play with? He's that obnoxious spotty thirteen-year-old who can quote every obscure piece of lore to... more
      • How about yes.Alleb, Wed Aug 16 5:54pm
        Hehehe, this is going to be fun. Thank you! I may or may not consider making him a Chiss, maybe -Alleb
        • Hehe.Neshomeh, Thu Aug 17 11:34am
          Having now looked them up, Chiss sound cool, though you might have to do something about his name in that case. He would never go with a name inappropriate for his species. OTOH, you could always put ... more
      • Ithorian. Deeeeeefinitely an Ithorian.Scapegrace, Sat Aug 12 4:33pm
        Jedi slug men from the outer reaches. =]
    • An agent seeking a refresher course . . .doctorlit, Sat Aug 12 8:30am
      Name: Nicholas Buchanan Age: 49 Race: Will stick with human. Description: African-American, curly black hair just beginning to turn grey. About six feet. Tends to wear dark suits. Brown eyes. Lust... more
    • Garbage author inbound!!!Scapegrace, Fri Aug 11 2:20pm
      Name: Esclarmonde d'Occitanie Age: 21 Species: French-Cathar Description: The daughter of a Cathar Jedi and a temporo-spatially displaced heir to the county of Foix, Esclarmonde has blonde hair down... more
      • ... So now for the actual submission.Scapegrace, Fri Aug 11 3:07pm
        Name: Tom Booker Age: 26 Species: Human Description: A pudgy, speccy little sad-sack with more pimples than friends and very, very clear skin, at least in his words. However, he's not actually that... more
    • Okay, let's give this a shotMattman The Comet, Fri Aug 11 2:14pm
      Name: Charlie Johnson Age: 20 Species: I mean, I'm pretty sure it's just humans Description: Brown haired and stocky, mostly due to a history of wrestling and weightlifting. Basically, functional... more
      • Pffft, I love this idea.Alleb, Fri Aug 11 2:45pm
        He's not even a fan. He is literally just a normal dude, with only the passing knowledge of Star Wars that everyone has, and he's been dumped into an OFU. This is perfect. -Alleb
    • This is so dang appliccable to me.twistedwindowpane, Fri Aug 11 1:26pm
      I'm going to send in the kid I was when I wrote SW badfic. Now the Board gets to learn that I've always been as messed up as I am now! Huzzah! ...actually, I was less messed up back then. ---- Name:... more
      • Oh wait, yeah,twistedwindowpane, Fri Aug 11 1:54pm
        The badfic personas are supposed to be sonas, not the actual writer. Hmm, let me see. Name: Teyori Visalia Age: 13 Description: Teyori is a Padawan-turned-Sith-apprentice who is skilled in dark side... more
        • Actually, you were the right at first.Alleb, Fri Aug 11 2:29pm
          Badficcers are just that--fictional versions of the badficcers we used to be/theoretical badficcers. Although, if you wanted to have fun with it, you could say Twizzy basically inserted that physical ... more
          • Okay then! Haha!twistedwindowpane, Sat Aug 12 5:35pm
            I guess I'll make a badficcer out of my friend at that age; although she does write questionablequalityfic currently, she'd probably agree that her fics back then weren't as good. How would the... more
    • Please mention what alien race your badficcer would choose, if any. -Alleb
    • Badficcer applicant!Iximaz, Fri Aug 11 11:15am
      Name: Tay-Adi Age: 16 Description: Male, six feet tall, totally ripped. Totally bad@$$ Light Side Jedi who still sometimes indulges in a little Force Lightning, but only on people who deserve it.... more
      • His struggle truly touches the heart.Alleb, Fri Aug 11 11:27am
        Thank you! Tay-Adi is on the list! -Alleb
        • XDIximaz, Fri Aug 11 11:37am
          He says you will be spared of his wrath. (He's also human, btw, forgot to mention. Black hair and gold eyes. Or brown hair and green eyes, if you asked his mommy.)
    • Are you limiting this to one per person?Huinesoron, Fri Aug 11 10:38am
      I'd love to craft a badficcer (>:D), but I've also got at least one PPC agent who could use a refresher course (/an excuse to be nosey and go poke around the Secondary Location). hS
      • Nope, submit as many as you want!Alleb, Fri Aug 11 10:41am
        I can't wait to see your created badficcer; this should be fun! -Alleb
        • I shall stop at two.Huinesoron, Fri Aug 11 12:20pm
          Name: Tango Dioxide Age: Exactly as old as Star Wars itself. She'd rather not think about how old that is. (She's 40.) Description: Human. Redhead - I mean red , not ginger. PPC agent. Her handful of ... more
          • Woot, thanks!Alleb, Fri Aug 11 2:48pm
            That'll be very interesting, having an actual adult mixed in with the generally-teenage fanwriters. Also, oh Shannon, never rely on your memories. Ever. Never works well. Anyway, thanks again! I... more
    • I always meant to ask...Hardric, Fri Aug 11 8:41am
      But do OFUs also take 'volunteer' students? I mean people who may consider begin writing fanfic, or writing fics good enough already, but want to get better at this? And of course want the oportunity ... more
      • Some do.Huinesoron, Fri Aug 11 10:31am
        There were at least four PPC agents in OFUDisc's first year, for instance. But they still get gratuitously tortured, naturally. hS
      • Hm, I don't see why not.Alleb, Fri Aug 11 8:54am
        I'm not sure if there's any official rule about it, but the main obstacle would be the fact that fanwriters don't know about the OFUs until they actually receive the invitation to register. I suppose ... more
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