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Badfic thread!
Mon Jan 8, 2018 3:22pm

So, I've been torturing the Discord for a while with a particularly nasty piece of bad slashfic and I've been told I should post it here. I think it would be a good idea to start a new badfic thread anyway, to see if other people have things worth adding to the Unclaimed Badfic page.

Link to the fic (NSFW)

Fic title and Author: Professor Legolas by Joxie

Canons: Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings

Major charges include:

- Warping Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Galadriel, and many others out of character
- Giving Legolas a personal portal to and from Middle-earth
- Giving Harry Potter a Veela "inheritance", complete with a soul bond to Legolas, utterly disregarding various aspects of canon Veela in the process
- Confusing physical intimacy with romantic love, and using the former to save the life of at least one character through a bond
- Making Harry Potter a descendant of Aragorn and Arwen
- Creating seven Sue artifacts in the form of "amulets." Four belong to Elrond, Glorfindel, Legolas, and Celeborn; the rest are in control of Gandalf, who gives one to Harry
- Turning Harry into an elf halfway through the fic
- Severing at least two Harry Potter wizards from their magical ability entirely
- Making Galadriel a Veela.

Summary: Legolas is made Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts by Headmaster Snape after the Second Wizarding War. In the fic, Ron and Ginny are dead after deciding to serve Voldemort in the war, while Draco and Lucius decided to help Harry. Harry quickly falls in love with Legolas and then comes into his Veela inheritance, which starts a "mate or die" plot that quickly gets resolved. Lucius manages to follow Legolas through his personal portal to M-e and eventually gets into a relationship with an extremely abusive Glorfindel.

Later, Lucius attempts to kill Harry and Legolas (through his soul bond) while disguised as Haldir. The only thing that stops Harry and Legolas from killing Haldir is that he's found to already be dead. Meanwhile, Glorfindel helps Lucius Malfoy end his own life to escape punishment at Harry's hand. Haldir's family demands compensation for the "blood debt", and is satisfied when Draco Malfoy is forcibly bonded to Glorfindel. It is notable that Glorfindel also gains control of precisely how and when Draco can use his magic; he promptly uses this ability to cut Malfoy off from his magic entirely.

Harry and Draco have a conversation about their abusive fathers (both of whom are shown to be far worse than they are in canon) and Gandalf offers both of them the gift of becoming Elves at the cost of their ability to perform magic. At that point, Galadriel senses Harry's immense power as a Veela and gets into a fight with him, both in their Veela forms. Draco is caught in the crossfire and dies an extremely dramatic death, and Elrond holds a Council to decide what to do with the situation. Harry manages to convince everyone present to banish Galadriel from Middle-earth until his death before accepting the Valar's gift of becoming an Elf.

This summarizes the first 18 chapters. The fic is 41 chapters long. I'm sorry for not reading the entire fic before reporting it, but I think that I've seen enough of it to say it's worth sporking.

    • Harry Potter Badfic.An Anonymous Person, Tue Feb 6 6:17pm
      It's called Sophia Black, and it's pretty bad. Not as bad as most of the fics on this thread, but bad. It's basically just an OC daughter of Sirius Black who exists solely to be a love interest for... more
    • Merlin's beard, why.eatpraylove, Fri Jan 12 12:20pm
      Anyway, I don't go hunting for badfic since I need my sanity for college, but I do have a list of all the stinkers I took off the Unclaimed list the last time I did an epic cleanup. Let's see what... more
      • Trek crossover, you say?Neshomeh, Sat Jan 13 2:52pm
        I can't take on another mission right now... and I dunno about taking an obvious My Immortal retread at all... but all the same, it's hard to find sufficiently awful crossovers so squarely in my... more
      • Okay, I'm taking the first one.Zingenmir, Sat Jan 13 1:52pm
        For one thing, at the very least it's mixing Grelvish and Sindarin (or maybe it's completely Grelvish--I don't think so, but I still need to go looking. 'Amin mela lle' is most assuredly Grelvish,... more
    • Oh dear. Well then, that's weird.twistedwindowpane, Thu Jan 11 7:39pm
      I'll add some badfic to the thread if I see anything. Hang on, do you guys spork Creepypastas? They seem to be a bit different from other fanfic in that the ones that are actually fanfic (Lost... more
    • More badfics (all NSFW and NSFB)leafeyes, Tue Jan 9 2:01am
      The first badfic ( is "Futa Prison" by Damien_Kova. Just looking at the tags, I see charges for transgender fetishization and rape. I also see... more
      • I... I might take that last one.SkarmorySilver, Fri Jan 12 10:56am
        Namely because: 1) I needed an excuse for at least one of my agents to reveal knowledge of the Fire Emblem series; 2) mishandling of transgender issues is something I've been meaning to tackle at... more
      • Oh god, no.RemnantShadow, Tue Jan 9 10:26am
        You're right, Futa Prison is horrible, and completely messed up the characters from RWBY. It might as well have used completely original characters. It also ruined Kill La Kill, SnK, and Fairy Tail,... more
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