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Lemony Eggnog
I'm conflicted.
Tue Sep 4, 2018 11:18am
98.206.46.103

This seems to be a recurring trend with your writing.

Pros:

- Cycling partners and Jacque's varying levels of success at hitting on them is a fun idea for a fic!

- Everyone is very nearly in character, so it's even more fun!

- Some good jokes, particularly the "charming his own cheese" bit!

- Mechanically, it doesn't make my eyes bleed!

Cons:

- Nearly in character. Particularly, I'm very unclear on who the first two partners are supposed to be (actual Torchwood characters?), and I don't get much Derik from your Derik.

- This "excerpts from a longer fic" format doesn't really work for me. There's no story in this story. Also, I can't tell if this is supposed to be from an actual fan mission you intend to write or predictions for the real thing or what.

If you continue this, I'll probably read it. But TBH I'd much rather see you and/or lightfairy406 continue "Tofu Hop." You know, the real one, not JayBird's mess. ;)

--Lemony

(( Jacques/Gall, huh? Hmm... he's not exactly her type, but it could happen. Flattery, boredom, and alcohol can work wonders. How buff is he?

(( And seriously, can we look forward to more PPC OFU this year? {= D

~Neshomeh ))

  • A/n: What it says on the tin! I had a ton of fun with this one, guys. Hope you love it! Remember to leave me lots and lots and lots of comments **blows kisses** obvs I don't own any of this its the... more
    • I'm conflicted. — Lemony Eggnog, Tue Sep 4 11:18am
      • ((More response later, but the PPC OFU...))Zingenmir, Tue Sep 4 12:32pm
        ((...seems to be going ahead, at least on my part. I can't promise it'll have exactly the same flavor, since it's been a year, I don't remember much of anything I had planned, and so on, but I kind... more
        • ((Oh man, I almost forgot about that one))eatpraylove, Wed Sep 12 11:10am
          ((From what I remember, I started it as a straight-up rewrite of the original with a bunch of OC agents, then you made it more like a proper OFU with representations of those characters' authors. So, ... more
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