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Thu Sep 6, 2018 7:28pm

How absolutely adorable.

However, while it might but cute, it lacks all sophistication. It feels unrealistic and fake. This isn't what two men would do with one another. Or even one man. What I'm saying is, where's the uke, the alpha in this relationship? We all know that men are obsessed with hierarchy, and this is well-depicted in most Yaoi, and particularly well in ABO. But in your work, much like that trash Umibe no Etranger (worst $15 I ever spent on a manga), there's no hierarchy at all, no expressions of power through sexual dominance. It's unnatural. Not how I'd write the ship at all.

((...And for a moment OOC where I stop lying, I totally and completely love this story, and Thoth is about as IC as it's possible for him to be in a story like this here, and it's cute and adorable and basically great, and everthing I said up there is the reverse of everything I think. Including the bit about Umibe no Etranger, which I haven't finished, but has been pretty decent as Yaoi goes so far.

So yeah, this is amazing. Thus, if I do this ship, I'll do it in a way that is brain-bleachingly awful.


  • "Mostly," Part 1 (SFW)Lemony Eggnog, Mon Sep 3 4:13pm
    Over the two years Derik and Thoth had known each other, they had settled into a routine. They met in Response Center 2112r weekly, give or take: less often if the Duty interfered, more often if they ... more
    • "Cute." — ShadowMoonDarkSun, Thu Sep 6 7:28pm
      • Ahahaha oh god, you're serious.Lemony Eggnog, Thu Sep 6 11:41pm
        Oh, boy. That's not an expression of exasperated disbelief—okay, it is, but I am also addressing you as the misguided kid I assume you are. Listen, girl. It sounds like you're getting all your... more
        • You just don't understand men.ShadowMoonDarkSun, Fri Sep 7 4:21pm
          ((...And thank you for giving this alter ego some well-deserved smacks, Neshomeh.))
          • I'm sorry, I must've blinked.Lemony Eggnog, Fri Sep 7 10:06pm
            When did I fall through the rift into your home dimension, where men aren't human beings? Dare I ask what the women are like here? --Lemony (( And there's the peak snark I have so much fun... more
    • This? Badfic? Surely not!<3<3<3, Tue Sep 4 10:31am
      If this had been with any two characters - guys, girls, neither, mixed - I would have loved it just as much! Though, that IS a problem: it might be too general in its love potency! I eagerly await... more
      • Ouch!Lemony Eggnog, Tue Sep 4 10:56am
        Too general? You wound me, sir/madam/starfish. Granted, the moment one friend confesses to another that their feelings have changed CAN happen to anyone... Well, hopefully the next part will clear... more
    • That was awesoooome!!!JessamintheCreed99, Tue Sep 4 12:14am
      Omg, gay guys are like so hot, am I right?? Siriusly (lol) good stuff there, I loved it sooo much! Write more plz! <3 <3 <3
      • Thanks, I think.Lemony Eggnog, Tue Sep 4 10:40am
        I mean... sure? In the sense that all love between consenting adults is hot? But I shall write more, indeed, and hopefully make it more clear that gayness in and of itself is not the driving force... more
        • I am disturbedLordHammerfell, Fri Sep 7 10:23pm
          I find your lack of confidence saddening. You must not phrase so much of your language as questions, and I find your confused response in the face of foolishness similarly disheartening. You must be... more
          • I am confident!Lemony Eggnog, Sat Sep 8 12:32am
            Awww, you literal-minded Imperial Fist type. I was being sarcastic, darling. I'll rephrase: All expressions of love between consenting adults are hot. Good communication is hot. Consent is hot.... more
            • This is not an area of my expertise.LordHammerfell, Sat Sep 8 8:13pm
              I do not "ship," and I tend assume people involved in "shipping" lack various virtues I aspire to. I should probably stay in my depth, namely, heroism, friendship, the tragedy of the righteous... more
              • That's fair.Lemony Eggnog, Sat Sep 8 9:19pm
                ♪It's okay to not like things.♪ And I'd tend to agree that your common-or-garden-variety shipper does tend to lack... let's go with prudence and temperance, those are virtues and also... more
              • ...Thus indicating...ShadowMoonDarkSun, Sat Sep 8 8:27pm
                That you lack the manliness and power to be secure in your masculinity. Real men are secure enough in their maleness to not care about their desire to see men together in fiction, to watch one become ... more
                • NoLordHammerfell, Sat Sep 8 8:56pm
                  I simply have no desire to see a man become another's "dominant mate," among other things.
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