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Lemony Eggnog
I am disappoint.
Tue Sep 11, 2018 11:05am
2601:241:102:47d0:8199:9b2f:ad7d:c088

First, in response to your note: Okay but no. a) You didn't do that. I got that Ilraen was interested, but not even a hint of curiosity from Nume before the flowers. b) Even if you had, thinking about a thing is not the same as being ready and agreeing to do it. Nobody talked about this beforehand. That ain't consent.

As for the actual contents of the chapter... sigh. As usual, there is potential for good smut here. The characters clearly care about each other, at least, which puts you head and shoulders above some of the reprobates around here. But you've botched it in so many ways by eschewing logic in favor of fetish and choosing your words extremely poorly.

For one thing, Andalite lower bodies are described as deer-like. A logical extrapolation would therefore give Ilraen a deer-like penis, not a giant freaky horse dong. Rather different anatomy there! Much less alarming, not to mention perhaps not goddamn impossible for a first-time unlubed anal penetration.

That's not even getting into what I assume was inspiration from the likes of Bad Dragon, which... I mean, fine? Aliens, who knows, right? But it's a little silly, though. And then you go and add greenish "sweet milk" with magical recharge powers, and I just can't. XD

Also, I have a list of deeply unsexy words that you are never allowed to use in a serious context again, but I don't think I can post them in the comments. Expect a PM from me shortly.

--Lemony

(( I'm not going to message you. You know what you did. {= P

(( And dammit, when I used the words "fine details," that was not a suggestion! {X D

~Neshomeh ))

  • Ilraen's Vacation (Part II)MotherShipper, Mon Sep 10 10:06pm
    Hey, guys! I finished another part of my fic!! Unfortunately, because of Da Rulez here, I have to link to it instead. Enjoy! Link is NSFW GDoc
    • I am disappoint. — Lemony Eggnog, Tue Sep 11 11:05am
      • ok Flamer be that way!MotherShipper, Tue Sep 11 12:11pm
        ((Really, though, in case someone gets the wrong idea: Yeah, this very much isn't consent and it's terrible. Also, I maaaaay have lifted some of those descriptions straight out of Legendary Badfics.... more
    • o_o Well, one thing's for sure...<3<3<3, Tue Sep 11 10:18am
      Nume would NOT have tried it without that Bleepka! Is there such a thing as 'sexily girthy', though? I ask purely out of curiosity. This fic, on the whole, IS sexy - and it's only bestiality if the... more
    • Umm, okay...JessamintheCreed99, Tue Sep 11 10:07am
      You realize that this totally makes Nume a bestiality, right?
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