The Newbie Rebellion
We've All Got Something (spinoff of Exercising Dominion)
Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:48pm

Thoth looked at the Words with alarm.

“What the?” he wondered out loud. “How long has this been going on?”

“How long has what been going on?” asked Twistey, as she approached him with an armful of materials and gadgets.

“The oldbies… or, rather, the four people who have apparently been on long enough to count as the true oldbies, are controlling everything in the PPC universe, Illuminati style, and have been for at least as long as the Mysterious Somebody ruled the PPC.” He paused. “Their ultimate goal is to obtain a ruling position over the Board as well.”

Twistey dropped a couple things and scrambled to pick them up, her face taking on a grim expression. “That’s not good.”

“What’s going on?” said a voice. Snowblaze emerged from around a corner, leading Jacob175 on a tour of HQ. With the two were 61516 and SkaterTheDJWolf. The four of them hurried over to hear the news.

Thoth cleared his throat. “I checked the Words today to see what was up in Fanfic World, and I found out... more than I set out to see. The oldbies are conspiring. They have control over the entire PPC universe, and they want to have the Board too.”

“We need to give them a piece of our minds,” asserted Twistey, as if that had already been decided upon. She put down her load and began searching through it. “There’s a Remote Activator here somewhere…”

“No need,” said Snowblaze, pulling one out of [her? forgot the pronouns lol] pocket. “Where are these oldbies meeting?”

“In a secret room in HQ, with twelve thrones.”

Skater shook his head. “That’s not enough detail to get us there.”

“Hang on,” asked Jacob, “can you explain everything to me? Like everything everything? I just joined, and I’m very confused as to what’s going on. Is this normal?”

“No, of course not,” replied Twistey. “The Board, as well as the writing of the PPC universe, is supposed to be a democracy. While in normal circumstances, the oldbies function as guides for us and do occasionally make jokes about this kind of thing, it’s never been a reality, at least on the Board. For the universe, apparently it was a reality all along. So, they of course want to spread their influence.”


“Back to what you were saying, Skater,” said Twistey, “we can actually get the Remote Activator to hone in on a particular person, so there’s no need to figure out the room.” She turned to Thoth. “Let me guess, the four true oldbies are hS, Neshomeh… Kaitlyn, and…?”

“Delta Juliette,” finished Thoth. “We don’t know where they sit relative to each other.”

“I suggest we go behind hS’s chair,” said Twistey. “He’s the most fun to screw with.”

This prompted Thoth to shake his head. “Not in a serious situation, he isn’t.”

“Ah. Yeah,” agreed Twistey, trying not to have a flashback.

“Well,” objected Skater, “the more time we spend here debating, the more time we’re giving them. For all we know, they could be watching us, and they could be busy shutting down our tech. Behind Huinesoron’s throne it is!”

Twistey picked up her stuff again, Snowblaze opened the portal, and the five of them went through.


“Nobody saw us,” mouthed 61516 to the gang.

“Great,” replied Snowblaze, with equal silence.

Thoth thought. “We should take advantage of this and-”

“-surprise them really good,” interrupted Twistey.

Thoth frowned. “I was going to say we should listen in.”

“Wouldn’t it be better if we went for diplomacy?” asked Jacob. “They might be willing to hear us out.”

“That’s not going to work,” replied Twistey. “Go! Ambush!”

Skater gave her a thumbs up, then pulled out an MP3 player and speaker. He briefly flipped through the songs, then settled on “MEGALOVANIA” from Undertale. A perfect fit. He cranked up the volume.

As the music began and the newbies (aside from herself and Skater, who was staying by the speaker) looked for strategic places to stand, Twistey checked through the pile for anything resembling a weapon. Eventually, she figured that there wasn’t enough time to do so, and well, she had fire powers anyway. As the music grew louder, the four oldbies looked like they were realizing there was something up. Come on, don’t see us…

Upon the sudden change in dynamics, the rebels emerged from their hiding places around the circle and into view. Twistey leapt up onto a table in the middle for dramatic effect, her shoes lightly soiling the map of HQ that was on it. “Guess who’s here?!” The oldbies were noticeably startled, and fumbled for their weapons.

“Turn it down, Skater,” called Thoth across the room. “I need to talk.”

“Got it,” he replied, and lowered the volume.
Thoth approached the table and leaned an arm on it. “What is the meaning of this?”

Nesh was the first to snap out of her shock. “How were you able to enter this-”

“I’m not finished. Listen, I thought I trusted you. You were my friends, you gave me the support and confidence I needed when I needed it. And then you turn your back because of artificial divides created between the Boarders for the sake of you feeling superior?!”

Huinesoron crossed his arms. “If anything, you should be the one doing favors to us. We were here upon the founding of the Board. The PPC came together because of us. By that right, it belongs rightfully to us.”

“Well,” remarked Snowblaze, “if that’s the case, we’re the heirs of the PPC. We’ll inherit it when you’re gone.”

“Gone?” Huinesoron snorted. “I for one will never be gone!” On “never”, he flipped his hair over his shoulder, producing a chuckle from Kaitlyn.

“Well then,” asked Skater, “what about the other three?” He paused. “Sorry, that was dark. Before then, you’ll all likely get bored or tired of this place eventually. There’s no one who doesn’t. So you better treat us right, or we won’t let you come back to visit us after you’ve left.”

Then Jacob finally spoke. “If you do manage to get control over the Board and get it running under you like some kind of dictatorship, won’t there be no more new people like me? People will stop joining when they hear that the PPC isn’t any fun anymore.”

“We don’t need any more newbies,” asserted Nesh. “When we have the Board, and no, you can’t leave when we have the Board, we’ll have everything we need. Besides, newbies are too much to deal with. Case in point.” She gestured to Twistey.

“Hey-” Twistey swiveled around to look at Nesh. Then she stopped in mid-word, noticing the shadows cast on Nesh’s face. “Those overhead spotlights don’t look good on you, y'know.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered that they don’t,” remarked Delta Juliette, “as we had never intended for anyone to see our faces in these lighting conditions except us.”

“But can’t you see each other’s faces? Can’t you see just how evil you look?” The human-decoy turned around to face Huinesoron, then jumped, briefly creating an outline of flames around her. “Oh God!” Then she whipped out her phone and snapped a picture. “You’re scary!” she laughed.

Thoth looked and then took a step back. “Oh shoot! Hah!” He looked at Twistey. “Please tell me you aren’t going to make a Wolfenstein 3D parody out of this.”

“What?” Then it finally clicked in Huinesoron’s brain. “STOOOOP!” he roared as he stood up from his throne. “I will have none of this slander! This is the last straw!” He drew a dagger from his belt.

Skater and Jacob looked at each other. “There goes diplomacy,” murmured the latter.

Twistey didn’t look up from her phone. “Oh, I don’t think you’re that bad, I just thought it was funny. Nice stern facial expression, it really drives home the idea! Anyway, what you really are acting like right now is a bunch of high school seniors in adult bodies.”

“Oh God, yeah,” agreed 61516. “Blah blah blah we’re the best and we get to boss everyone else around, especially the freshmen. You’re so right.”

Twistey sat down. “I like you guys. You do have a little bit of superiority, being older and wiser and having been here for longer. Nevertheless, I’m going to send this to everyone else. I’ll tell them what’s going on, and we will rebel. Because it looks to me like you’re gonna keep planning domination unless we do. Nothin’ ‘gainst you personally, I mean, there’s a little darkness in all of us. Capitalization on ‘darkness’ is your choice.”

And then she had to scramble off the table, for in that moment, the battle began.

Join the rebellion today at!

  • Exercising Dominion (Ch. 1/1)S.P.U.D., Wed Sep 5 5:44am
    Many say that the most secretive location in PPC HQ is the HQ Pool, which can only be found by the deserving, possibly after a night of heavy drinking. They are wrong. Those few who are in the know... more
    • We've All Got Something (spinoff of Exercising Dominion) — The Newbie Rebellion, Fri Sep 14 7:48pm
      • We've All Been Dominated (spinoff of WAGS)S.P.U.D., Mon Sep 17 5:45am
        "Well," said Huinesoron a few minutes later, "that was easy." Neshomeh finished pushing the last of the so-called Newbie Rebellion through the portal. "Yes; you'd have expected them to actually train ... more
        • You cheted!AwesomePrincessMinty, Mon Sep 17 1:59pm
          Its not far to bet us so much that we cant fite bak wihout tim skips or dues ex machia! (Stupid spellcheck... the typos are deliberate, okay?)
        • Because "If we weren't both gay, I would marry you because of how awesome you are." outright contradicts from the reality of the matter... at least how I understand it! ;)
          • Oh you poor, benighted newbie.S.P.U.D., Mon Sep 17 9:48am
            I know you're a newbie, because you are not an Oldbie. Don't worry - we are all new compared to their magnificence. It is certainly true that our fabled Oldbies, Kaitlyn and Huinesoron, are married;... more
      • This is sooo kewl!AwesomePrincessMinty, Sun Sep 16 7:41am
        I just luv tis idea - its like dubledores army and the minsty of majik!!!111111! i defintly want to join the rebellion! (Me and Minty in the same rebellion... that means things are going to get... more
        • You're in.The Newbie Rebellion, Sun Sep 16 5:30pm
          I don't know what that means as of now - S. P. U. D. has not yet replied with a counter-spinoff for us to counter-spinoff. I suppose you could take advantage of that to spinoff "We've All Got... more
      • I didn’t expect...Snowblaze , Sat Sep 15 2:43am
        to be featured in a badfic! I don’t think I ever officially stated my pronouns, but for future reference they’re female. I don’t think I’d last more than a second in the battle against the oldbies... more
        • Of course!The Newbie Rebellion, Sat Sep 15 8:33pm
          Since you're one of the fellow newbies I know decently well (this is Twistey here, but don't tell), I figured I'd stick you in to give us a good number of resistance folks.
          • I might have guessed...Snowblaze, Sun Sep 16 7:38am
            that you were Twistey. The line about the Wolfenstein 3D parody was a dead giveaway.
            • :E|ctwistedwindowpane, Sun Sep 16 4:50pm
              (Hope you understand this emoticon, er.) I figured that since Thoth knows a bit about classic iD Software games, it could slide, but y'know... -Twistey
              • It'd be Doom, thenThoth, Mon Sep 17 9:49am
                Also, I think only you would write this and everyone knows it. ^_^
    • Sheesh!twistedwindowpane, Sat Sep 8 8:12pm
      And hS revenge'd me during the Shipfest for portraying him in a similar way. Perhaps a little more agressive, but similar. -Twistey
    • r these OCS?brandywine_baby89, Thu Sep 6 11:24am
      Not Huniesoron, I know he's an aelf and I thini he;s the same person as agent Ilian. vY does every1 think he's inc harag of the PPC, tho? if u read JayBird's stories, u should KNOW it's the SO and... more
      • Of course she isn't evil.S.P.U.D., Thu Sep 6 11:56am
        None of the Oldbies are evil, because they're in charge of the PPC, and the PPC is good. Therefore, none of their agents are evil either. I'm sure Jaycacia thinks she's in charge of the PPC, but... more
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