I didn't begin to detail what we'd been through for the last
Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:21pm

3 weeks. I wouldn't wish upon my "worst enemy" the pain and torture of watching a beloved Dad die slowly over 3 weeks, in excruciating pain, and being reduced to having to be fed, dressed, and all of his needs handled by one of his children. He was a very strong, independent man who took care of OTHER people and who'd been reduced to being unable to even lift a spoon to his own mouth and needing one of us to use a sponge stick to give him water to drink. He was itching SO bad and couldn't scratch himself so had to ask us to scratch his itches. We had to watch Dad cry out and moan in horrible pain and be unable to do a damned thing to relieve his pain because he was in congestive heart failure and anything stronger than Tylenol could potentially kill him by suppressing his breathing, until the final few days where we asked the doctors to just use morphine and take away his pain, regardless of whether or not it interfered with his breathing. He didn't have ANY chance of surviving where he was by then, so relieve his pain and make THAT the top priority vs hoping for a different outcome that was never going to happen. I did without very much sleep for days at a time, sleeping in an easy chair in his room in FL, right next to his bed, holding his hand, so he didn't have to be alone and frightened because he was SO helpless and needed me to be there for him. I haven't eaten an actual meal in a few weeks. I fed him by hand, trying to keep his strength up. I chased down doctors & nurses to come take care of his needs instead of leaving him to wait until they got around to it, or I did it myself.

It SUCKED. But, I'd do it all over again for him if he was still here in need.

I think that kinda sorta gives an idea of what this last month was like.

  • I Cannot Imagine...Amadeus, Wed Nov 15 10:52am difficult it must have been to write your post after having gone through all that. Take your time and find good memories to hold onto. Many times we don't realize how lucky we've been until... more
    • I didn't begin to detail what we'd been through for the last — Sia☺giah, Wed Nov 15 11:21pm