I cannot tell you how intimidating this sounds to me; I so respect anyone could carry this heavy load and not crumble under the weight of it.

A recent experience I had with some ladies I was mentoring (at their request); it resulted in one of them turning all of them against me because she had the impression I was judging her; this would be one of the "unintentional" actions that you list here, and I was so crushed to think I had caused her pain because of my insensitivity. It happened a few months ago, and recently I was able to recognize it was "her" problem -- not my own -- when a friend who is a recovering alcoholic clued me about the triangle known as Drama Triangle: Victim, rescuer, persecutor.

I, of course, apologized immediately as soon as I recognized having offended, and I had assumed the position of "persecutor" to her at this juncture, but she is working through her own "guilt" issues and I have no intention of resuming the "rescuer" position again, but that is just one of the things that I would find a crushing experience.

Anyway, my respect for you increases that you actually hold to these burdens in Judaism. Perhaps if I had been raised in that discipline it would be more understandable.

Blessings to you and yours,
Chris