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Inventing Joy
Facing Loss & message to Phyllis
Thu May 5, 2016 12:13am

I am posting this now hoping to help those who donít know what to say to help those who have suffered a loss & to comfort those who suffered a recent loss. . When I originally wrote it, in 2002, I had suffered grief which was behind me. Now as Iím posting this, mainly as a rather late response to Phyllisí post about the loss of her precious Quintzy . It reminds me that now I am facing the loss of my beloved Xena, the warrior Princess, whoís picture is at the top of this site. Xena & Quintzy were about the same age & kind of grew up together. doing doggy age related things at about the same time. I send my condolences to Phyllis, hubby & to the spirit of beloved Quintzy. However, I am also writing this to help me grapple with the fact that Xena, is 14 years old. That is about equal to 98 yrs in human years. She is surprisingly healthy for her age. She sleeps a lot, but at least once a day, sometimes more, she plays like a puppy with surprising energy. A few months ago during a fiesta on the beach for La Dia de las Muerte or the traditional celebration of the day of the dead traditionally celebrated in Mexico to honor those who have passed on, Xena danced to her favorite music, of a Mariache live Band. No one would have guessed her age. She didnít rest until I insisted. The applause was loud & exciting. .Xena lapped it up. She is such a ham! Xena is blind due to cataracts. She doesnít seem to see it as a problem. Iím the one with the problem. Just one day, she looked at me with a confused look on her face. She had peripheral vision but I think that day, the white cataract seemed to block that periphery. But it passed. She adapted. She has a huge yard, a large house. I try to keep things are fairly stable in the same place so she doesnít trip or fall. She has been my service dog for 13 years. She pulled my wheelchair for 4 years. Then by alerting before I would go into pain, she helped me get out of the wheelchair. She kept me from falling on my face when I have a balance problem. She knows what Iím thinking before I indicate anything. When my dogs bark, it could be at anything or anybody going by. If Xena barks, even though blind, I know someone is at the door. She stayed in the hospital with me, knowing not to bark at nurses in the middle of the night. She jumped up on the moveable bed thing & would greet everyone we passed in the hall or elevator as well as xray techs & all the other techs we would visit. People thought she was a big stuffed toy. Xena is going deaf. She has deaf days & hearing days. I can tell the difference by mentioning ďtreatsĒ. If she responds, itís a hearing day. If not, itís a deaf day. Xena has a tumor. It is on her butt & looks like she has a testicle. Its been dormant for 3 years so Iím pretty sure it isnít cancer. I have avoided having it removed because I have too much hospital experience & fear general anesthetics. Last month, while traveling with my 3 dogs in my mini motor home, it suddenly became infected & grew to the size of a tennis ball. My San Diego vet prescribed antibiotics. It has gone back down, but I can tell it is time for surgery. I vascillate between, I should have done surgery 3 years ago & my fear of general anasthetics tells me that if a general could kill her, I got an extra 3 yrs by not doing it. But Iím scared to make the decision. If Iím going to do it in San Diego, it should be next week. Every day, I remember we are near the end & I try to prepare myself, but honestly, I donít really know how to do that. I love all my dogs, but I know there will never be another Xena. I just do what I can. Every day I hold her & cuddle her & tell her how precious she is. She seems to know what Iím saying. She is more cuddly & loving now, than she has ever been throughout her life. This is my struggle right now. Xena is La Perra de la mi Corazon, the dog of my heart. (Iím learning Spanish Its more melodic). Xena is my Warrior Princess. I invite others to share their experience or just offer support.

Here is Xena & her Mother Karma, pulling my chariot.

Puppy Love from Inventing Joy & Furry Folk

    • Thank you, JoyPhyllis/Shalom (and Quintzy), Thu May 19 3:37pm
      I haven't been popping in as often as I used to in the old days, but decided to drop by today. So glad that I did; otherwise, I would have missed your beautiful message. I remember Xena, of course,... more
      • Shalom is adoooorabable!Inventing Joy, Sat May 28 4:36pm
        Hi Phyllis, Shalom is so adorable. Thx for sharing his/her? pic. Puppy Love from Inventing Joy & FurryFolk
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