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Lucy Avellino
Could We Start Again, Please?
Thu Mar 31, 2005 23:37
69.105.84.215

I've been living to see you
Dying to see you but it shouldn't be like this
This was unexpected, what do I do now?
Could we start again, please?


She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and throw things, to abuse the staff verbally, to do anything else but lie there and stare at the ceiling under the influence of painkillers. Eight hours since Caleb had woken up, or so the stupid clock announced from its wall hook. The first three were pretty much a complete blank; an overriding pressure on her abdomen and the feeling of a million tiny needles.

She’d lost her baby. Their baby. It had been female, that much the doctors had told her. Angelina – the little angel, named for the celestial entity she now was – had been quietly buried on the sacred grounds behind the base chapel. Angelina Catherine Holmes would eventually be chiseled into a headstone so the tiny grave could be marked.

And now the denizens of the base knew who she was. Curious faces peered into her room from the hallway at regular intervals, every law-abiding citizen wanting to take a gander at the ‘criminal’. Actually, Lucy had stopped paying attention after the first hour and a half, preferring to stare at the ceiling and ignore the nurses who came in every thirty minutes to take her vitals. Sooner or later she’d figure out how to commandeer a way out of here.

“He’s asking for you again, sweetheart.”

Ben stood in the doorway, holding a styrofoam cup in one hand. He looked exhausted, like he’d been witness to lots of horrible things in the last twenty-four hours. “Caleb needs to know about his child, Luciana.” God, he sounded like Papa, which only made her feel more guilty.

“I don’t want to.” Was that really a five-year-old occupying the singer’s body?

“I know. But you have to.” Baritone ignored the petulance, simply watching the wheels rotate until she came to the conclusion Ben was right. That was when she noticed the nurse hovering behind him in the hallway with a metal contraption. Sigh -–plotted against.

After being carefully tucked into the wheelchair, Lucy spent ten minutes staring at her toes while someone was sent to warn the other injured party that this formerly ‘sleeping’ party was on her way. And then the aide had to book it back to this side of the hospital before things got underway. Her nerves gave way to terror with each corner turned or hallway navigated.

Eventually she was rolled into Caleb’s room. Some of the tubes had been removed and an oxygen mask settled over his mouth and nose. The sight made her want to turn around and run away rather than hurt him further. “Oh god. Caleb.” Oh. Shit. His head tilted, signalling she’d spoken out loud.

There would be no mistaking the hospital gown and robe covering her frame, or the iv needle still taped to her hand, with matching bag and stand. But she was more fixated on how pale he looked, a luverly gown of his own visible from the waist up. Legs and such were obscured by a thin sheet. “Hi.” Lucy smiled nervously.

“I love you.”

And she did. Enough to wait while he rasped out a greeting of his own, ignoring the admonitions of the nurses present. Ben wheeled her closer to the bed and lowered one of the rails down halfway so Lucy could reach out with her unencumbered hand and trace the line of her lover’s jaw with shaking fingertips.

Then he asked about the kid. Oh god. She froze, momentarily witless until, “I lost her. I’m so sorry.” Brown eyes desperately wanted to look away, to run out the door and let her body follow. But that would rob Caleb of his dignity and she couldn’t do that to him. So she met his gaze, flinching at the darkness she thought she saw in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry ….”

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is just a dream
Could we start again please?


  • New ChaptersCaleb Holmes, Thu Mar 31 22:37
    “Gino? GINO?! Oh thank God, you’re back!” Caleb’s eyelids fluttered, unable to breathe. It felt as if someone had been sitting on his chest, forcing the life out of him. Feebly he tried to sit up,... more
    • Could We Start Again, Please? — Lucy Avellino, Thu Mar 31 23:37
      • Do Not Pass GoCaleb Holmes, Fri Apr 1 02:17
        I've heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this The fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The... more
        • Do Not Collect Da MoniesCaleb Holmes, Mon Apr 4 03:38
          Angelina Catherine Holmes… It was the name that had been driving him on for the last three weeks, in his thoughts when Lucy wasn’t his main concern, or when he hadn’t been cornered by Rob. Well, he... more
          • First StepsCaleb Holmes, Mon Apr 4 03:43
            “Caleb… Wake up Caleb…” Why was it that all he could do was sleep? Blinking the haze away from his eyes, he focused on the woman leaning over him with a mischievous expression in her eyes. It wasn’t... more
            • No Matter WhatLucy Avellino, Mon Apr 4 15:36
              [ No matter what they tell us, no matter what they do No matter what they teach us, what we believe is true No matter what they call us, however they attack No matter where they take us, we'll find... more
              • Misunderstood ManiacsCaleb Holmes, Mon Apr 4 19:22
                Lucy had agreed! Oh God, holding her in his arms against had felt like heaven, his mind filled with a blissful sensation that he hoped would never depart. Even if it hadn’t been all too proper to be... more
                • Innocent IngenuesLucy Avellino, Mon Apr 4 22:35
                  “Jesus Christ, my hands won’t stop shaking!” Lucy glanced up from adjusting the hidden zipper on her Hannibal costume, watching Erik fiddle with the front of his costume. And he was Erik. Caleb had... more
                  • Betters Homes and... Bugs?Caleb Holmes, Wed Apr 6 23:59
                    “Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation… Darkness stirs and wakes imagination… Silently the senses abandon their defenses…” Caleb hadn’t had any difficulty with the script thus far, considering ... more
                    • A Hell of a TownLucy Avellino, Sun Apr 10 01:38
                      “Oh my god.” It was too much to take in at first. Ben and Hugh, moving toward her in slow motion, as if in a movie. The view of Rob and Beth in a swing. The house itself was huge. Stately. Lucy could ... more
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