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Lucy Avellino
No Matter What
Mon Apr 4, 2005 15:36
69.111.100.43

[No matter what they tell us, no matter what they do
No matter what they teach us, what we believe is true
No matter what they call us, however they attack
No matter where they take us, we'll find our own way back
]


His name was Adrian Mazzolo, and he was the co-author of her child’s destruction.

As much as she wanted to lay all of the blame at the soldier’s feet, Lucy couldn’t. She had been stressing far more than she should. Not eating enough. Not downing enough water. They said hindsight was twenty-twenty, and she felt that more keenly with every day that passed.

It was on the fourth morning after losing Angelina that the Italian had sought the peace of the chapel, sitting quietly in a pew and watching the crucifix behind the altar. So many questions, demands really, had swirled around … knowing they would never pass beyond her lips. And then Adrian had come, demoted down to PFC for his transgression.

She had frozen, mind sorting between the ‘fight or flight’ response that should have been immediate. “I’m sorry.” Those two words had tilted the world on its axis, turning everything she knew on its head. In shock, the girl had watched him sink down onto the pew across from her own and repeated the apology until they were both in tears. Father Joseph had found them thusly, united in grief for the unborn child – if not for each other.

Lucy learned how to forgive someone she hated that day, though her feelings had lessened rather than disappear. It made the afternoon visit to Caleb’s room easier to bear. Regardless of what he said, she was convinced that she was to blame for the child’s demise. Her body, not his, had failed in its primary function as an incubator.

The priest had taken her confession that evening; performing the necessary duties of judge and jury for her soul, though the job of executioner would not be performed until Judgement Day at the end of time. Lucy had sat in the confessional, quietly telling of events in her life over the past few years … indeed, she’d not undertaking this endeavor since her senior year in high school.

Confessing that your family dabbled in organized crime was not the sort of thing a person liked to do. And she’d skirted around the issue more or less, the main topic of conversation had been turned towards Angelina. Lucy was convinced she was being punished. Father Joseph, surprisingly, set her straight on that. God wasn’t that vindictive.

The talk had helped, though, by lifting some of the crushing burden off her shoulders. If a priest had denied the possibility of divine retribution, well … that was something she didn’t have to worry about. But Lucy still felt guilty, and figured she would for a very long time. There was a decision she’d made over the last few days – Lucy was not leaving New York again. This was her home.

[If only tears were laughter, if only night was day
If only prayers were answered then we would hear God say:
"No matter what they tell you, no matter what they do
No matter what they teach you, what you believe is true"
]




“Hi, princess…”

Brown eyes widened. When she’d seen Shelly and David sneak out of the hospital room, then descend on her with giggles and knowing looks, the poor singer hadn’t known what to expect. This, seeing Caleb on his feet and moving without too much difficulty, was a miracle. “Be gentle…”

Gentle? Lucy was all about that. Honest.

But first she had to bury her face against his chest and listen to his heart beating a good long while before she’d even think about stopping the hug. “I love you.” Voice was muffled, so it came out more as a ‘Ah lub oo’. Eh, semantics. Several minutes passed before the injured agent was gently escorted back to his bed, his lover carefully stretching out beside him. Hey, these cots held big angry Marines all the time. A slip of a girl and a recovering official should be a piece of cake.

She leaned over and kissed him then, lips brushing gently against his in a concerted effort not to cause any damage. And cool fingertips lightly stroked the distinguished, but subtle, flare of gray at each temple. It was then he’d told her about the director’s latest visit and what it entailed. Frankly, Lucy couldn’t understand why David would want them back … there was so much trouble associated with their presence now.

“Do you want to be my Erik again, Caleb?” His very nearly ferocious kiss was answer enough. “Alright, we’ll do it … as long as performing won’t set your recovery back.” See? The brunette could look stern when she wanted to. Even if ‘performing’ brought a different sort of light to his gaze. Dirty old man.




[And I will keep you safe and strong and sheltered from the storm
No matter where it's barren, a dream is being born
No matter who they follow, no matter where they lead
No matter how they judge us, I'll be everyone you need
]

Three weeks ago, Luciana Avellino had agreed to return to the New York stage. Her lover, one poor sod named Caleb Holmes, had been doubling his exercise regiment in order to accompany the singer in a final product of Phantom. The musical held extreme sentimental value to the couple; it had brought them together. At the end of this week, she would once again don the virginal dressing gown of an operatic ingenue and Caleb would walk around with half his face covered.

There was something she wanted to do. No, it was more than that – she needed to perform this small function in honor of her slaughtered family. The Friday before, she’d contacted her grandfather’s lawyer and spent all afternoon at his downtown office. Amazing how many arrangements had to be done with the fruition of one simple idea.

She’d coaxed Caleb out of the hospital and into a waiting government car without telling him where they were headed. After heading over the Bridge and into Manhattan, their destination became laughably obvious after just a few street turns … and sure enough, the vehicle pulled to a halt across the street from a fire-gutted building.

The brownstone had retained its frame … and little else. The inside would have to be torn down and rebuilt, and for a moment Lucy yearned with all her heart to be the one to do it. This building had belonged to the Avellinos for almost her grandfather’s lifetime. But it was a part of her past now. She exited into the street, moving quietly until she stood on the mangled lawn where snowmen had once been built … and waited. Caleb was soon by her side.

After a few minutes, she began to talk quietly … hoping he would understand without being told, because if she tried … tear city. “I sold the land Friday afternoon to a halfway house. They have enough money to redo the inside and make it into a sanctuary for teenagers out of rehab.” Lucy paused, crying anyway simply at how it sounded out loud. Oh, she would miss this home terribly.

“Caleb … I want to stay in New York. Leaving it again would require a strength I just don’t have, not now anyway. Would you consider staying with me?” She glanced up, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. If he disagreed, she would follow wherever he wanted to go – but it would prove exceedingly difficult. And then … then she … smiled at him. It was colored with nervousness but the emotion was still there.

And then came the real kicker. “ Would … would you marry me, Agent Holmes?”

[No matter if the sun don't shine or if the skies are blue
No matter what the ending, my life began with you
I can't deny what I believe, I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever, I know no matter what
]

  • First StepsCaleb Holmes, Mon Apr 4 03:43
    “Caleb… Wake up Caleb…” Why was it that all he could do was sleep? Blinking the haze away from his eyes, he focused on the woman leaning over him with a mischievous expression in her eyes. It wasn’t... more
    • No Matter What — Lucy Avellino, Mon Apr 4 15:36
      • Misunderstood ManiacsCaleb Holmes, Mon Apr 4 19:22
        Lucy had agreed! Oh God, holding her in his arms against had felt like heaven, his mind filled with a blissful sensation that he hoped would never depart. Even if it hadn’t been all too proper to be... more
        • Innocent IngenuesLucy Avellino, Mon Apr 4 22:35
          “Jesus Christ, my hands won’t stop shaking!” Lucy glanced up from adjusting the hidden zipper on her Hannibal costume, watching Erik fiddle with the front of his costume. And he was Erik. Caleb had... more
          • Betters Homes and... Bugs?Caleb Holmes, Wed Apr 6 23:59
            “Nighttime sharpens, heightens each sensation… Darkness stirs and wakes imagination… Silently the senses abandon their defenses…” Caleb hadn’t had any difficulty with the script thus far, considering ... more
            • A Hell of a TownLucy Avellino, Sun Apr 10 01:38
              “Oh my god.” It was too much to take in at first. Ben and Hugh, moving toward her in slow motion, as if in a movie. The view of Rob and Beth in a swing. The house itself was huge. Stately. Lucy could ... more
              • Ingenues AboundCaleb Holmes, Sun Apr 10 02:51
                “Son of a bitch !” Ow. Caleb slowly turned about, glaring at the carpenter that had the audacity to hit him upside the head with a wooden plank. He must have been glaring daggers, because the man... more
                • Quiet SurprisesCaleb Holmes, Sun Apr 10 02:52
                  “I remember, there was mist… Swirling mist upon a vast glossy lake…” This was the third time through, and they had yet to get to the unmasking! Caleb wasn’t certain if Jenn was just nervous, or if it ... more
                  • From the TopLucy & Friend, Mon Apr 11 15:18
                    “This trophy from our saviours, from our saviours! From the enslaving force of Rome!” Marion was in fine form tonight, loosing the sort of shrieks that one might expect from the likes of Tammy Faye... more
                    • Story time around the FireThe Clan, Mon Apr 11 18:01
                      “Thank you again, Rob.” “It was my pleasure, James. Now that Caleb is leaving, well… Its time for him to stop hiding. It isn’t as if he were in any danger now, though I suppose one can do only so... more
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