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Caleb Holmes
Tue Apr 19, 2005 02:58

He had been utterly, thoroughly humiliated.

Jane just wouldn’t stop with the telling of stories he had thought long since dead. God, he couldn’t even begin to describe how unnerving it was to have a group of people know those stories by heart, having spun the tale for others in his memory. The coffin and headstone that declared he was dead to them, but seated here in a jovial setting, things could not have been any better. He had risen from the dead! Come back to them! Moira seemed especially touched, still casting a wondering glance in his direction when she thought he was not aware. Silly girl.

“It’s been great, everyone, but the boys are going to kill the newest babysitter if we don’t get home soon.” Jane was explaining this in a regretful tone, and Caleb could only grin. “They tied up the last one and left her on the front porch for us to find when we got home.” Oh dear God! Unable to cease his impression of a fish, the spell was broken as the married couple rose, along with the rest of the men. And Lucy, to boot! He was proud of her, knowing that she had never truly been in this sort of family setting. It was like she knew all of the unspoken rules!

“Sit down, Hester.”

A deathly silence followed Devon’s caustic remark, and Caleb knew he was not the only one glaring daggers at the fool. Idiot! Why would he say such a thing? It was hardly Lucy’s fault for being born into the Avellino family, and she had done well for herself, not falling into the trap that was a crime of life. How dare he insult her in such a fashion! Near to opening his mouth and biting off a barbed insult, his fiancée took care of it for him with a glass of water. Bukkake would have been appropriate, for there was no greater insult than tossing water in one’s face. But she went further, dumping the icy contents in his lap as he had refused to rise like a true gentleman would.

“James, thank you for a lovely evening. Caleb, I’ll be waiting outside.” He could only nod to the girl as she took leave, gathering coat and purse on the way. What sort of dolt was his younger brother? Met with looks of disapproval from around the table, he did not shrink back or wither beneath the gazes, but squared his shoulders and sat proud. Idiot!

“That was the rudest act I have ever witnessed,” James practically hissed, leaning forward with knuckles pressed against the table. “You were raised better than that! Now, apologize to Lucy, and be sincere about it.”

“No.” It wasn’t the voice of a frustrated child, but the cold tones of a man that did not care.

“How dare you…” Caleb murmured, glaring down at Devon in disapproval. “How dare you treat Luciana in such a manner! She gave you the least of what you deserved, and you very well know it! Stop trying to be the bastard and go apologize to my fiancée.”

“I—said—no.” Each word was deliberate, Devon’s fair face rising to meet Caleb’s. The corners of his mouth twitched, as if the fool were trying desperately not to smile at the situation.

“No?” Caleb chuckled in a way that was not so nice. The Phantom chuckle, sending chills down the spine. “No?” Before this, he had contemplated anger management courses with a counselor. But now he realized he had a punching bag right here! It was such a casual thing; his hand rose, apparently to brush Devon aside much like he was a fly. But the wrist snapped, and it had enough force to startle the younger man into tipping his chair backward, landing in a rather disgraceful heap.

“Take Lucy home, Caleb,” his father said in nearly a whisper, obviously done watching the tableau unfold before him. “I will take care of this.” What more could he do but acquiesce to his father’s wishes?

The ride home was silent, for he fumed over Devon’s obvious lack of respect for him and his wife. No, his fiancée. She wasn’t his wife yet, and they weren’t playing a game any more. Though he yearned to reach across the center console and grasp Lucy’s hand, he resisted valiantly, knowing it was best to wait until they were home. But the worry had to be eating away at her! It made him feel guilty as they sat in silence, which carried into the house as they arrived. A few lights on, the track lighting dim to offer illumination for a path. But he needn’t worry of that now.

Instead, Caleb showed Lucy how little the scene Devon had created at the restaurant mattered to him. And he did this in the only way he knew how as of yet. His communication skills in the relationship were poor; terribly lax and novice, a sore point for him. But his hands and lips told another tale all together. One that wouldn’t haunt him twenty years later around a dinner table.

Brrrrrrrrrrring. Oh God, make it stop!

Oof! Unceremoniously brought back to the land of the living by a squirming female reaching for the phone, he performed retaliation for such a nefarious deed. “Hello, Holmes residence. Madame Fortuna speaking.” Stifling a laugh that sounded more like a grunt by the time he was done, Caleb could hear the mumble of a masculine voice from the telephone, but didn’t concern himself with that. Instead, his hands wandered across Lucy’s frame as his eyes remained shut, memorizing every curve and nuance as they lay there. The slope of her abdomen, and the swell of a thigh, before he reached the promised land.

“Psst. David wants to do Camelot for the next production. Sound good?” Grunt. Whatever! Caleb was dipping his head beneath the covers at this point though, searching out nourishment. Who said he couldn’t be a dirty old man when he first woke in the morning? “Sure thing, Dave.” And how was Lucy so unaffected by this?! The assault doubled, and damned if she wouldn’t give him some sign that she was interested. “Ok, thanks. See you on Wednesday then.” Click. All mine, mine!

Hey, where do you think you’re going?! Yanking Lucy down, he shivered as she stretched across his frame, fingertips stroking and toying with various portions of her anatomy that he was highly fond of. “Is that a sword or are you just glad to see me?” Maybe both! Come here my dear, I have something you’ll want to see! “So… Feel like trying out for a medieval musical this time?” Oh shit, there went the cute kitty eyes. And then her hips were settling atop his, a dark hiss drawn from his throat.

Damn, she knew how to press his buttons!

“What’s Camelot?” Hours later, ensconced safely in the kitchen as he made them a light breakfast of chives and potatoes and everything that went with them, he eyed her curiously.

“What’s Camelot?” Lucy paused, poking her head around the refrigerator door to stare at him. “You’ve never heard of it?”

“Uhm… no. CIA agent, remember?” Caleb seemed marginally embarrassed at such a thing though, and could only roll naked shoulders in a helpless shrug. “Phantom was the first time I ever sang anything of that nature, you know that!” An accusing look and his attention returned to cooking breakfast.

Of course, the discussion entailed a trip to the local video store, where Lucy insisted they buy a DVD copy of Camelot, along with several CD renditions. Yes dear, whatever you say dear. Apparently it was movie fest at the Holmes residence during the day. Why had she answered the telephone that way, anyhow? He had a horrible habit of answering it, Holmes & Avellino, the easiest couple off Broadway! Name your price. Not very thoughtful, but he stunned more than one person into silence. Right, Camelot!

“This isn’t going to be a Monty Python thing, is it?” He really couldn’t envision David putting on Spam! at the Playhouse. Lucy assured him that it wasn’t, and they settled onto the bed to watch this interesting musical. Why was he in a musical again? Oh, that’s right. Because he didn’t know how to act! Pssh.

“But it seems some of the drops sparkle, Pelly. Some of them do sparkle! Run, boy!” The music swelled and Arthur ran off to war with Pellinore at his side. The screen faded to black, and he could only stare at the plasma television for a few long moments.

“Holy… shit.” Blink-blink. “That was completely absurd. Ridiculous!” Pause. “It was freaking fantastic.” Oh God, it was appealing to his inner Monty Python! Turning toward Lucy with a mischievous grin, he pounced the girl and nuzzled her neck.

“Think you could help out an old man in the studio downstairs?”

Wednesday! Mercredi! Mercoledi! It was an appropriate day for the auditions; violently insane to identify with Odin, though the explanation was lost on Caleb.

“Hey!” He was whispering, plopping down in a theater chair beside David with a quick handshake as someone sang their audition on the stage. Catching a peek at the notes, he could only grimace and shake his head. Lucy came ‘round the other side, giving the director a hug from behind before flanking the poor fool. “That bad?”

“Worse,” David confessed, flipping through the audition pages. “It’s like they loosed a group of high school choir members in here! Utterly horrifying,” the man managed as the person’s song wound down, voice cracking and tone terrible. “Thank you Miss,” flip-flip-flip, “Richards! We’ll be letting you know.” We? Damned collective personas! “Want to give it a shot?”

“What, now?” Caleb asked, lofting a curious brow. Lucy made a face at him from beyond David’s shoulder, where the man couldn’t see, and nearly choked on his laughter.

“Yes, now.” Uh oh, irritable man. “If unless you’d prefer to do this sometime next week?” Pffbt. Damned dramatics! Flapping a hand at the director, he wandered up to the stage, eyeing the assembled personage intending to audition. Clunk-clunk! At least this time he was attired in a marginally respectful manner; clean shirt in such a light red that it was almost pink, with some random logo upon it, the usual comfortable jeans, and… sandals! Woo! “What’s your name and what part are you auditioning for?” David called out, apparently trying to be professional. Uhm, all right?

“I’m Caleb Holmes and…” Pause. He and Lucy had discussed this, though he was torn between several roles, they had already talked about who would be perfect for what. God, he had turned into such a theater rat! “I guess I’ll try for Arthur.” There were whispers in the audience at his name. The Phantom! they cried, absolutely delirious. Well, not really, thank goodness. If he got that response, he wondered what would happen when Lucy took the stage! Or Sean for that matter!

“All right. Take I Wonder What The King Is Doing Tonight. Just after Merlin’s exit.” Okay bawss! We can do this much. Deeeeep breath…

“My people indeed! As if they gave a thought to what I’m doing tonight.” Caleb suddenly shouted, hardly going for the timid entrance that a few had already discovered was not the right thing to do in this instance. He shouted, he railed, all the while giggling inside at his silly nature. But Lucy was right, this was fun! He could easily be a theater bum for the rest of his existence. “Oh, good and loyal subjects of the Crown, are you really peering up at the castle with a question mark in each eye, churning to know how stands the King on his bridal eve, throbbing with curiosity about the King's humor on his prenuptial night?” His shoulders slumped, hands falling to his sides in a defeated gesture. “Yes, you are. That's precisely what you're doing. Every last, blessed one of you.” Now, we sing!

“I know what my people are thinking tonight, as home through the shadows they wander…” Lucy had been an absolute Godsend for him with the preparation of this audition. But it really didn’t feel like an audition, more like he was goofing off on the stage, showing off. Caleb didn’t realize it then, but that was what would let him slip through the cracks and get a smile out of David during the short performance. “He quails! He quakes! Oh, that’s what the King is doing tonight!”

“Thank you, Caleb!” Uh oh, jovial tones and a first name instead of formal indifference. Bounding off the stage and back toward his seat, he saw Sean seated beside Lucy, the two discussing something that he couldn’t hear.

“You know… I’m going to get the girl again,” Sean said as Caleb sat down near the duo, giving a wave of his hand as if it were a dismissing point. Hah!

“Its not my fault the women want a plastic boytoy instead of a real man!” Oooh.

Let the flame wars begin!

  • With Strumpets BlaringLucy Avellino, Mon Apr 18 23:57
    “Okay, no one wants to hear any more about that, Jane!” Lucy waited until James had stood and embarrassed every one of his offspring with toasts before grinning at Jane across the table. “I most... more
    • Dethroned! — Caleb Holmes, Tue Apr 19 02:58
      • DefloweredLucy Avellino, Thu Apr 21 19:03
        “What’s your name and what part are you auditioning for?” Aha, a repeat of Caleb’s fantastic performance. Well, not really. Lucy went from being a self-contained twenty-one year old to sixteen, all... more
        • Oh really now?Caleb Holmes, Sun Apr 24 00:20
          “What’s your name and what part are you auditioning for?” What was with David acting so formal? Pffbt! At least Ray wasn’t here to bungle things in his patented west coast fashion. One director was... more
          • Feasing JoustsLucy Avellino, Tue Apr 26 00:54
            “I really don’t think you’re any Richard Burton, but it could work!” Lucy bit her lip, trying so hard not to laugh at the annoyed expression on her lover’s face, but it was so hard. And the thought... more
            • Shots FiredCaleb Holmes, Fri Apr 29 04:00
              “You’re not much help, you know that?” “I pride myself on my uselessness, thank you very much!” Caleb glared at Moira from the corner of his eye as he butchered yet another helpless fish in... more
              • Abbot and Costello ShowLucy Avellino and Penny, Sat Apr 30 00:43
                Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself Maybe I'll wake up for once Now tormented daily, defeated by you Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom “Devon? Mind stepping out for a word with... more
                • Disbelief and DebtsCaleb Holmes, Sat Apr 30 04:38
                  “It’s still hazy, really… I just can’t believe that Lucy laid Devon out like that!” Well, he remembered glimpses of the aftermath, before a sibling’s burly husband had carted them into the Jeep and... more
                  • Laurel and HardyLucy und Penny, Sat Apr 30 17:31
                    "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It has been ..." Lucy broke off for a moment, racking her brain to remember when last she had graced the confessional with her presence, " ... it has been too... more
                    • Dinner and a MovieCaleb Holmes, Sun May 1 01:11
                      An insight… “No. I told you, every time I ring up the house or his cell, no one will pick up. And if they do, they hang up a second later! Short of knocking on his front door, I really don’t think... more
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