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dnasmom
Re: Is it worth it to keep activities for social only?
Tue Apr 2, 2013 10:43
70.89.95.233

Sorry this is gotten so difficult.

I agree that A should have a say, but with your guidance. Will the 4-6 group have all the same kids next fall or will some of the "meaner" ones move on? Will any of the K-3 kids move up with A? If no, then is it possible for her to split her time between the two groups? That might allow her to continue the social interaction with the younger kids but be challenged with the older ones.

As a mom of boys, I am not as familar with dance, but from what I hear different dance schools have different philosopies: some are all about competition team and becoming a star, while others are more recreational. It happens in sports as well, but if you can find the right class, she may be able to continue without having a teacher that is too critical. It would be good for her (as it is for all kids) to have something to do that she has to work at. Yet it is also critical that she is supported and that the results of her hard work are recognized. She may get upset on the way home, but if she really loves dance she may also not want to quit.

The only other advice is to look for other activities - gymnastics instead of dance, soccer or softball, or even karate that would give her the stressful, fun physical social outlet you are looking for and where she could be challenged with age-mates.

Are there any "gifted" camps in your area? Or even science or animal camps that would attract like-minded kids? Maybe A could make some friends this summer and you could find a joint activity for the fall.

Ultimately, I would keep at least one of these activities and find some others if she has outgrown others. Is she doing music now? You are right that as kids hit 9 or 10, the activities often diverge with a more competitive track and a lesser one. In sports, travel teams start while in dance the "serious dancers" may move into more advanced classes. It is a difficult age, but the good news is that there are typically more activities to choose from and sometimes a more diverse age mix as kids drop and add activities at different ages.

I hope this works out for A and for you!

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    • Re: Is it worth it to keep activities for social only? — dnasmom, Tue Apr 2 10:43
    • thinking about responseDinky's Mom, Fri Mar 15 18:49
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    • Is it worth it to keep activities for social only?Rachelle in NZ, Fri Mar 15 01:25
      Hi Donna, in my case no. I used to worry and fret about birthday parties and "socialization" and DS needs to have friends. I realized in the end that DS did not care nearly as much as I did. We found ... more
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