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Yeah, pretty much.
Wed May 24, 2017 18:09

The person observing his distraction was Aislinn. John did not know if this was better or worse than someone else doing it. On one hand, she seemed not to mind his strangeness in general, but on the other, he was a bit uncomfortable with her catching him off-guard. With Mom and Joanie just gone, now, and even Clark difficult to access, John had (by his own standards of such things) allowed himself to start really expressing ideas to Aislinn much more quickly than he usually did, and when he thought about it, that felt...strange. A little dangerous, even, ridiculous as that was. Aside from Mom, who he was reasonably sure he had adored within a day, John usually preferred to thoroughly evaluate people before he ever said anything of consequence to them.

Now, wasn’t just the stimulation he wanted, though he couldn’t deny that Aislinn - for lack of a better term - snapped into sudden focus for him when she provided that in conversation. It was, he was ashamed to admit even to himself, the sense of some connection to another human being. And so he said more than he meant to, then withdrew into himself - intellectual intimacy and trust was, after all, no small part of what had gotten him into this mess - and then started the whole thing over again….

Wrong, of course. Ought not do it. He wished he could just ignore the fact that no matter how he tried to reason himself into believing differently, he still knew Right from Wrong. He didn’t want to anymore. It wasn’t reasonable to continue doing so, really - he’d get much further in this life if he could just convince himself that there wasn’t another one. He was already behaving as though there was not - he had now missed church on one of the holiest days of the year, and did not even know why. So he hadn’t gone home, because it was better for his family if he stayed away from them - so what? Aside from the school grudgingly accommodating its Catholic population for at least some of the holy days of obligation, he was of age. He could probably tell the staff he wished to leave at such-and-such a time and return at this-or-that and they might well permit it whether anyone had time to escort him or not. Certainly they had no right to keep him here if he did not wish to stay, just the right to refuse to let him come back if he left without permission. And yet, he had not even inquired with anyone about church over midterm. Why had he done that?

“Weird,” repeated John, trying to bring to mind what Aislinn had actually just said while eighty percent of his thoughts wandered off-task. While I stood rapt in the wonder of it, messengers came to me from the king and all-hailed me Thane of Cawdor, by which title these weird sisters had saluted me, and gave me earnest of success in the coming on of time with hail, king that shalt be. “Yes, it’s...strange. So many at once. They’ll be missed. I missed you,” he concluded abruptly. “Over midterm, I mean - I was here. I had a lot of work to do, so I stayed here. Did you have a good time at home?”

OOC: John misquotes Macbeth’s letter to Lady Macbeth from the Shakespeare play about them, jumbling it a bit with one of the soliloquies.

  • Is it really that bad?Aislinn Nicolls, Sat May 20 22:00
    Aislinn stared over towards the Pecari table at her sister. She was worried about Sutton. Yesterday, her sister had looked like her sister, but today, she looked like someone else. She was dressing... more
    • Yeah, pretty much. — John, Wed May 24 18:09
      • Tomorrow's another day.Aislinn, Fri Jun 9 09:57
        If Aislinn didn’t have amazing self control, she probably would have been sitting with her mouth hanging open in shock for the fact that John had stated to some form that he had missed her. She... more
        • Here's hoping it isn't worse than today.John, Sun Jun 11 11:23
          Complicated. That was a loaded word if John had ever heard one. The sensible thing, he knew, to do whenever someone mentioned that things were complicated was to run screaming in the opposite... more
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