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Joe Umland
Thank you, I quite agree.
Sun May 28, 2017 11:47

“Hm, probably not,” agreed Joe when Jozua got really specific about a drawback of life in Aladren. “Unless you’ve got immigrants of a certain age from Saskatchewan. My granddad might know them. I doubt it, though. He’s kind of a hermit.”

Plus, Joe looked nothing like him, so being called by the same name was unlikely. He supposed he had biological grandparents somewhere in the world who might have pranked people in high school severely enough for a grudge to be carried several generations later, but he had not the slightest idea if any of them had been wizards. That, however, was all sorts of complicated and not something he thought really advisable to have a deep discussion of at the dinner table. For all he knew, it could lead to places neither of them really wanted to go, like realizing they were long-lost cousins and this causing major rifts in both their families. It was unlikely, but at this point, Joe was sort of over assuming that things that were statistically unlikely in general were also unlikely for him. His sister was the Snow White of northwest Calgary and one of the seven dwarfs was dabbling in anti-royalist activities. Joe’s life was weird just by association with those two.

“They have...machines,” he said of Muggles. “It’s all metal and wheels - I don’t know much about it. My brother could tell you more. But that’s how Muggles do things, and yes, there are lots of them where I live. Which is Calgary.” It occurred to him that this might not mean anything to Jozua. “It’s a city in Canada. We don’t live in, you know, apartment buildings or anything - we’re sort of near the edge, and our neighborhood, I think it’s kind of like a town. My mom can kind of drive - that’s, uh, what they call using the machines that take you places - but most of the stuff we use is close enough to walk to, and we know everyone around us. Mom volunteers for a lot of stuff, and we all grew up in a homeschool support group with Muggles.”

Joe took a drink of the milk he’d decided to have with supper tonight. “On one hand, I don’t have to worry about anyone holding stuff Grandpa did against me, but on the other, sometimes you find yourself sneaking books out of the kitchen under your shirt and hiding them in the laundry hamper because the neighbor had an emergency and begged your mom to watch her kid, and then you’re kind of like - what am I even doing? Who thinks it’s normal to sneak books out of the kitchen and hide them in the laundry hamper, you know?.” Joe grinned, amused by it even though it was a genuine complaint of his. “I’m lucky I’ve got three brothers and the sister, because none of us could ever really have friends until school.” He’d once thought John was the exception to this, turned out he wasn’t. “I mean, Mom kept us in as many programs as we could afford so we could learn stuff and get socialized, and she liked having her students ‘round for tea, but everyone knew - Mrs. Umland’s a little bit weird and doesn’t like a lot of company, and that automatically made all five of us weird kids you couldn’t really be friends with, too. So the five of us, we pretty much hang out with each other at home.”

As soon as he said that, he became acutely aware that he was probably still the owner of a tiny bit of fame for being that Teppenpaw who had referred to his brother as the offspring of the formal term for a female dog and tried to hit said brother on the first day of school. Hopefully Jouza would not do what Joe or John would have done, which was at least think a sarcastic remark about how well that seemed to have worked out for Joe’s family. “Do you have brothers or sisters?” he asked, partially out of curiosity, partially to distract from the fact that he really had said more than he thought, in retrospect, he had really wanted to.

  • It is an excellent trait to possessJozua, Fri May 26 20:37
    Jozua nodded in sympathy when Joe predictably admitted his midterm had lacked the glory and wonder of Jozua's. Not everyone could have The Best Midterm Ever, and Jozua had surely claimed it this... more
    • Thank you, I quite agree. — Joe Umland , Sun May 28 11:47
      • Continuing to overshareJozua Sparks, Wed May 31 14:27
        Jozua twisted his expression into uncertainty and wiggled his hand out in front of him. "We've got immigrants," he admitted. "I know of one from the Netherlands in the form of my mother, but," he... more
        • Continuing to ask questions.Joe Umland, Wed May 31 16:03
          Jozua’s mother was from the Netherlands*? Well, that was not something he thought one heard every day. Joe knew this was probably not interesting if one was used to it, but he still considered this... more
          • Continuing to answerJozua, Thu Jun 1 10:07
            Jozua nodded in understanding as Joe explained the dangers of hysterical people who didn't slow down to think about things before jumping to wrong conclusions. He might not know any muggle mothers... more
            • Contemplating the future.Joe, Thu Jun 1 18:04
              “I see your dad’s point,” said Joe, amused, as Jozua continued into his family’s insurance woes. “I’d be mad if my bills went up because John set something on fire.” Not quite the same thing, of... more
              • Uh-oh, Cleo and Amelia are catching upJozua, Fri Jun 2 08:37
                Jozua laughed, "Well if you're learning your trade from him and he just set the whole town on fire because the spell he was inventing did exactly what it was supposed to do, they might be justified... more
                • Can't allow that to happen.Joe, Fri Jun 2 14:10
                  Joe was not as touchy about money and politics as some of his siblings were, but he still wasn’t quite sure what he thought of Jozua’s blunt statement that his mother was rich and that high insurance ... more
                  • I think we wonJozua, Fri Jun 9 13:00
                    Joe had already been moving up out of the 'acquaintance' circle and into solid 'friend' territory, but learning he had also been disappointed to learn Great Explorer and Knight were no longer viable... more
                    • Looks like it. Go us!Joe, Mon Jun 12 10:43
                      Joe was not sure he’d ever had anyone ever announce they were friends before, but he could see the advantages of the approach. He nodded. “Very good,” he said. “We failed knights of the world have to ... more
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