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How long does that take, and is this a trap?
Fri Apr 27, 2018 22:35

“Thank you,” he replied, as Parker complimented him again, accepting it more this time. He’d come clean about how he hadn’t really tried in order to get where he was, but Parker still seemed to find it praise-worthy. And at the end of the day, who didn’t like being told that they were good or impressive? He was made to feel so often that he was entirely the opposite of those things by Matthieu, that it was still pleasantly surprising when anyone found him worthwhile, and he blushed slightly at being complimented.

“That is interesting,” he said, when Parker mentioned learning some Spanish from friends. “Where you live… it has a lot of people from different places?” he asked curiously.

“I think Mama would not have let us starve, even we don’t learn Chinese,” he commented with a smile, when Parker mentioned needing to learn all his languages to survive, “but it is definitely useful. She is always more happy when we do. Good way of getting treats,” he grinned. He had been a little shy and stiff at the start of the conversation but that was beginning to ebb away. He liked people, he liked to chatter. He just had to be sure of the kind of ground he was on before he really began to. “She always tells me that I teached my small sister to say ‘ice cream’ in Chinese before… before many other things.” Before she had learnt Matthieu’s name. But whilst he was happy to talk about Émilie, he was more cautious about bringing up his brother, or the dynamic between them.

“That is nice,” he added brightly, when Parker said he was in the gardening club. Dorian hadn’t actually been aware there was a gardening club. He supposed it rang a bell now Parker mentioned it… He’d seen something about it last year, but he wasn’t sure he had this year? Still, gardening was a nice, nurturing sort of activity. It made Parker something other than just a Sports Guy. It was hard to imagine anyone who enjoyed gardening being really very rough.

“Maybe this is your chance to learn by immersion,” he joked, when Parker said he never managed to get any consistent practise at getting Russian words from Tatya, “You tell her you want her to speak Russian only with you, you will make her very happy. And yourself very confused, but maybe you will learn.”

Parker’s next question threw him slightly, in that it rather assumed the existence of something that he wasn’t sure existed… And it had Parker identifying himself as something that Dorian very much wasn’t. Outdoorsy. Although he tried to remind himself this idea applied as much to nature and gardening as it did running around and exploring. Dorian didn’t inherently dislike the outside - he enjoyed beautiful views and fresh air very much. It was just that at home, it tended to be divided into inside as his and Émilie’s domain, and outside as Matthieu’s - the land of sport, of running about, of grazed knees from being ‘accidentally’ tripped…

“Hmm. I am unsure…” he pondered the question. The truth was that he spent much much more of his time in the library, where he most definitely could have listed a number of favourite small nooks and particular seats that he enjoyed occupying. And, of course, in MARS, but he felt that that would lead onto questions of what hobby he had, or what instrument he played if he specified the music room and, whilst he could honestly say that he played some rather bad piano, that wasn’t what he went there for. But his and Jehan’s MARS was something that felt private - it was theirs - and admitting that he spent most of his time in the library didn’t feel particularly… safe, he supposed. Parker didn’t seem to be Like That, he reminded himself - not like Matthieu - but there was a broad spectrum of people between Matthieu and Jehan, and he was still self conscious, anxious of making a mistake and Parker finding him someone worthy of ridicule instead of praise. “I mostly go when I just want to walk… For the walking, not for a particular place?” he tried to explain. He actually mostly walked when his head was full with too many unpleasant or complicated thoughts and feelings, but boys weren’t meant to have that many feelings, so he didn’t want to admit that part of it. He liked to think, and to read, and to enjoy the beauty of a well constructed scene but none of that was normal or allowed. The glimmer of animation had gone, and he sounded a little timid as he answered Parker’s question. “Or… or finding places to read sometimes. There are nice… I am more a reading sort of person. But maybe this is not the kind of place you like?” he added, almost apologetically.

  • Parker felt bad bringing up his family, and then not sharing. But what would he say. He wasn't sure if Dorian was one of those at school who was focused on the purity of blood. Mentioning his sisters ... more
    • How long does that take, and is this a trap? — Dorian, Fri Apr 27 22:35
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