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And to tell little white lies
Sun Jul 1, 2018 20:16

Parker didn’t seem like he was mad at Dorian, which was good. His first feeling on realising it was Parker at the stall had been a sort of stomach clenching anxiety. In the one real conversation they had ever had, Parker had been nice enough to him – Dorian had even almost relaxed, although Parker’s thirst for adventure had had his guard going back up by the end of the conversation. Dorian no longer thought that Parker actively disliked him for being everything opposite to him, but he doubted very much that Parker actually liked him, and he was still somewhat on the intimidating side because Dorian sort of felt that the only reason Parker didn’t dislike him was because he didn’t know him well enough – he had not, as it turned out, hated Dorian on sight or on principal, but there was nothing to stop him wanting to beat him up once he became better acquainted with what a nerd and a freak Dorian really was. As Parker didn’t seem annoyed over this incident though, Dorian supposed it was good, in some ways, that it was Parker he’d run into. At least Parker was his own age, and it had been reasonable to claim to be looking for him. He tried not to imagine what would have happened if he’d casually called one of the seventh years his friend. Or if it had been Victor, around whom he felt impossibly self-conscious. Paker even played along whilst they were in earshot of the vendor, calling Dorian his friend. Dorian gave him a grateful smile, trying not to feel guilty at the reminder that he had used Parker.

Parker’s options confused him for a moment, because one of them seemed to involve going to get a snack even if he wasn’t hungry. That one also involved leaving, which he knew he shouldn’t do yet - he still needed to go shopping. Anyway, what Parker was saying probably didn’t matter because it was just for show… Once they were out of earshot of the vendor, Parker could just ditch him and go about the rest of his day.

“Probably stay,” he answered, “So, uh, snack here,” he answered before they stepped away from the stall and began making their way through the hall towards the snack tables. Whilst he had been looking through the shirts, he’d been trying to find the words in English he would need. Even though Parker had mouthed something back to him, and seemed ok with the situation, he still felt he hadn’t apologised properly. “I am sorry to… to make you be my excuse?” he said hesitantly. “I am not really sure how to say… But for doing that, and interrupt your day,” he tried to explain.

He tried to think whether he owed Parker any further explanation about why he had just done that. He probably did. But he had been unable to imagine how to articulate it. The first time they’d talked, Parker had wanted to keep his own problems to himself, and proper boys didn’t spend a lot of time talking about their feelings. He couldn’t imagine an explanation that didn’t make him sound overly emotional and weak.

“I get annoy by someone,” he explained, because annoyance and anger were allowable feelings, much more than hurt and sadness, and they were true enough in this case. “I figure your guy is busy with you and I can just… have space for a minute.” He wasn’t sure that Parker would get it. He was a Pecari, and so outgoing. Did Pecaris ever want a break from other people? It was hard to picture. But he felt it was the best way he could explain without over-sharing.

  • Everyone needs friends from time to timeParker, Sat Jun 30 13:38
    Parker was still looking at himself in the mirror when the salesman said, "Looks like your friend’s having a bad day." Parker turned around looking for Cleo. He was a bit surprised that she might be... more
    • And to tell little white lies — Dorian, Sun Jul 1 20:16
      • No lies here.Parker, Mon Jul 23 09:29
        Parker hadn't thought there might be snacks here in the Hall. It made sense though so Parker nodded to Dorian and began to walk with him. Parker quickly realized after listening for a bit that Dorian ... more
        • Parker really seemed ok with it. Which was a relief. Parker seemed, generally, to be quite nice. Perhaps this was not the most dramatic revelation. Most people seemed to feel that ‘nice’ was a banal... more
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