Sometimes that draws too much attention.
Mon Jun 10, 2019 12:37

Jessica did not have the same fear of magic that Evelyn was describing - she had enough trouble believing anything was going to happen at all - but she found herself nodding unconsciously as the older girl talked about fear of failure. Jessica knew that fear all too well. All her life, as far as she could remember, she’d lived in terror that she would grow up and find she wasn’t good enough to carry Arvale on her shoulders. That, as much as praise and attention from Mommy and Daddy, had been what had driven her to achieve all her life; it soothed her, providing empirical evidence that she could do whatever she decided to do or was asked to do, even when it didn’t keep her so busy that she had no time or energy to think about the future.

That was the thing about now which she was still getting used to. All she really had was a broad goal - revenge. She didn’t know exactly what that would look like or exactly how to get there; she was juggling in the dark. It was terrifying, as she had always predicted, but, surprisingly, also kind of...exhilarating. Sometimes, anyway. In between the most terrifying moments.

“Someone has to do it, I guess,” said Jessica in response to the weak joke. “But - I thought this was all gibberish when they threw me in here, and things work about half the time now? So if you believed in this stuff from day one, then you’re probably ahead of me,” she said encouragingly, though the words felt strange and stiff and unnatural on her tongue. She had been taught to always be confident, assertive, and proud, always. This...trying to be nice and act like she was on an equal or even slightly inferior footing to others was still incredibly weird.

  • Run, always run.Evelyn Stones, Sun Jun 9 22:50
    Evelyn smiled, agreeing wholeheartedly with the idea that more friends were always good. Of course, her life hardly reflected that. She supposed that she was prone to recruiting people to her small... more
    • Sometimes that draws too much attention. — Jessica , Mon Jun 10 12:37
      • We don't want that. Evelyn Stones, Mon Jun 17 16:51
        "I don't think it's about that. There are people who are ahead in one Waugh or another, but nobody's just ahead or behind. That's one of the things I actually really like about Sonora. It's just... more
        • Indeed not.Jessica, Mon Jun 17 19:25
          Evelyn, Jessica surmised, was like birthday cake: small doses might be good, but Jessica suspected that larger ones might quickly get cloying. That was two rounds of platitudes in the course of about ... more
Click here to receive daily updates