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Sammy Meeks
She was never mine to lose [Laila]
Sun Nov 6, 2016 23:46
67.140.84.21

To put it bluntly, things sucked. Jax was involved with Joella, and Sammy couldn’t even let herself properly nurse her broken heart because, for the very first time since the day she set foot on the grounds of Sonora, she didn’t want to talk to Gia about it. Not for any fault of hers, of course. Gia was a perfectly wonderful best friend, but she knew Gia would feel caught in the middle, with Sammy and her brother both heavily attracted to the same girl, and she didn’t want to make her choose or feel the necessity of choosing. Gia knew, of course, because of the note Sammy had sent and then panicked over, asking Gia to go with saying it’d been she who sent Joella the possibly too affectionate note. So when Gia followed her out of the lunch where they’d found out about Jax and Joella, despite the look on her face that indicated the possibility of throwing up, Sammy had tried to reassure Gia that it’d be okay, that she’d get over it soon enough.

But girls like Joella Curtis were not forgotten or given up so easily. She just didn’t want Gia to worry. She still would, dear thing, but any lie that Sammy could tell to hopefully reassure her and lessen that worry, she would do it. There was no reason for her best friend to hurt over something so completely out of her control. It was out of Sammy’s control, too.

It wasn’t her fault, she had to keep telling herself. Nothing she had done had made Joella (seemingly) straight, nor had it made her attractive to Jax. The Pecari could hardly fault him for being attracted to her older Housemate when she, too, found her so desirable. And nothing she had done made Joella feel that way back to Jax, who was also a pretty swell dude. He was handsome and kind, a bit rough around the edges but still truly good beneath.

Part of her screamed that it was her fault for not telling Joella earlier how she felt and at least trying, but it was so scary, especially when it was not only a question of “might they like me?” but also “are they attracted to my sex?” It was definitely her fault for not telling Jax how she felt about Joella, but how could she have known that he felt that way too? Who felt those feelings first? And did it matter? Plus, if she had told him, would that have stopped him from getting involved with her?

Honestly, she thought it would have, because he would have placed a higher value on Sammy’s happiness than his own, but somehow, that didn’t make her feel any better. After all, what would have been the end result? Sure, they wouldn’t have been involved, but then Jax would just be without this happiness, and Sammy wasn’t sure she could have taken that away from him. He was a good friend. A loyal friend. That was why this sucked so much. He had hurt her so easily, and so accidentally.

Sammy was spending more time alone these days, her entire energy a bit different. She could fake a smile well enough in the company of others, but she sought her friends’ company far less plentiful. Her strolls alone in the Gardens became more frequent. The thing was, she didn’t want to be alone, she just didn’t want to be around Jax or Joella. Or sorta Gia, for the other girl’s own protection. Laila was okay, being less directly in the middle, but it was hard sometimes to meet her without the others.

That said, as the Pecari strolled through the Gardens, it occurred to her to look around for Laila. She knew her younger friend was a frequent help to Mr. Professor Xavier, so maybe she would be about the Gardens today. In the first thing to go right since forever and what Sammy could only assume was a divine intervention, she happened to find Laila just moments after having this revelation.

Sammy made a beeline to the Crotalus, with urgency in her steps and that same maybe-gonna-throw-up-from-emotions look on her face that Gia had seen the other day. “Hey,” said Sammy with a tone conveying all the same things. “Are you super busy? I really need to talk to somebody about…” She looked down at her fidgeting hands. “About the whole Jax and Joella thing. It’s kinda wrecking me.”

    • Tell me more, tell me more.Laila Kennedy, Tue Nov 8 01:50
      It had been a few days since the revelation that Jax and Joella were dating. And then the revelation a few seconds later that they weren’t actually dating but rather just…hooking up? Was that a... more
      • A flair for the dramaticsSammy, Tue Nov 8 02:35
        The hard part wasn’t coming out. Sammy didn’t believe in that garbage. There was no big announcement to be had, no big deal to be made, no rainbow banner (or, in Sammy’s case, a pink, purple, and... more
        • Well then, let us heal together.Laila, Mon Nov 14 17:10
          Heart beating fast, Laila took a seat next to her older friend and prepared herself to console the Pecari beater and do her best to act as though the thought of liking Jax Donovan had never crossed... more
          • This was it. The eye of the hurricane. Sammy had raged and ached and was likely to do so again, but now it was Laila’s turn to say something. It was likely going to be something calming, an “I’m... more
            • The calm after the storm?Laila, Sat Nov 26 18:46
              Mamma had always said that listening without giving advice was sometimes what other people needed, and since Laila didn’t really feel like there was much advice she could give, she opted to just stay ... more
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