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Tarquin Fox-Reynolds
Life's not a song
Sun Apr 8, 2018 05:51
116.232.56.15

Tarquin left the staff meeting, trying hard to control how he was feeling… He knew he had the virus, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone. He had never thought of himself as violent person or a man with a nasty temper, but then there had been last night… He had pushed Danny. How could he have done that? The fact that it had been accidental magic was not an excuse. He had gone upstairs, apologised again. And he had searched and searched for the words to make it better, but he just didn’t have them, and he knew that made Danny mad, because Danny was the kind of person who needed to be comforted when he was upset, to be told why and how it was all going to be ok again, and when Tarquin wasn’t up to the job it sparked off every other argument and anxiety about their relationship. He hadn’t been relegated to the couch for the night, but he also didn’t feel like he was fully forgiven either. And that was new and scary. He could usually persuade Danny to feel better again. But he had crossed a line. He had pushed him - what kind of person did that?

And now he was stuck here. He would need to Floo call his already angry and upset husband and explain that he had no idea when he’d be able to come home. And he missed him already. Why was he such an idiot? How many times did he and Danny have to have the same fight before he’d learn? It seemed impossible that yesterday he had wanted space and solitude. Now he had as much as he could wish for - he could lock himself alone in his office every night, not have to speak to another soul - and he was already lonely. He wanted his husband. He wanted his hugs. He wanted to talk to him, to sit and do the crossword with him, for him to never shut up or leave him alone. He supposed telling Danny that when he called would be a start… But it didn’t feel like enough. What if Danny didn’t believe him? What if stayed mad? What if he wouldn’t even answer his calls? He already had to make up for last night, and now he was stuck far away from him, when he needed to be there in person. What could be good enough to make up for all that?

He had stood in front of his fireplace for fifteen solid minutes trying to work up the nerve to call. To find the words to explain. And then he had given up and decided to take a walk to try to calm down, and to think, because he really didn’t want to endanger the library any more than he had wanted to endanger Selina. He did not want to blow anything up. He really didn’t. But he felt guilty, and angry and scared, and he was sick. It was bound to find an outlet. And above all of that, he wanted to make it up to Danny. To know what to say when he called that would make it better.

“Everybody needs a little time away / I often say,” he began to sing, as he made his way through the gardens, “From each other. Even lovers need a holiday / Far away /From each other.” Oh dear Merlin. He was singing. Unintentional singing was occurring.

“Wish I could hold you now / I really wanna tell you I’m sorry,” he definitely didn’t know the words to this song off by heart, and yet he was singing them (and, unknown to him, altering them a little to make them more fitting). “I just want you to know...

“After all that we've been through /I will make it up to you / I promise to,” and he was really belting out the chorus. Well… if accidental magic was going to force him to sing, at least it was getting him to do a good job of it. He supposed this declaration of love would have been a lot less impressive had he not known half the words and just mumbled and been all off key. “And after all that's been said and done/ You're just the part of me I can't let go

“I can’t stand to be kept away / Just for the day /From you Danny,” great, as if this whole thing wasn’t embarrassing enough, he’d just effectively outed himself where students might overhear him, “Wouldn't want to be swept away / Far away / From the one that I love.

“Wish I could hold you now / I really wanna tell you I’m sorry,” he’d begun to amble as he’d started the song, and whilst it wasn’t full on choreography (it wouldn’t have suited the mood of the song very well), there was a lot of passionate gesturing and occasional slightly skippy steps. “I just want you to know. Wish I could hold you now / I really want to tell you I'm sorry / I could never let you go / After all that we've been through / I will make it up to you / I promise to / And after all that's been said and done / You're just the part of me I can't let go

“After all that we've been through,” and of course there was a key change, and he jumped up onto the edge of a nearby fountain, “I will make it up to you/ I promise to,” he ended the song singing to the sky, across which there was now a brilliant rainbow in spite of the fact that it was neither rainy nor sunny but in fact quite cloudy. Well. It wasn’t like his husband was big on subtlety. Had Danny been able to witness any of that, he was pretty sure he would be forgiven - ‘I was so upset that I burst into song about you’ was possibly the most romantic thing his husband could imagine someone doing… He could only hope that reporting it was just as effective. And he just had to really, really hope that no one else had actually witnessed that. Although given this year’s tendency to be a complete freaking nightmare, he doubted he was that lucky.

OOC - this post is set 15 to 20 mins after the start of the staff meeting, so staff and students are probably both free at this point, but students have probably not yet been told that they're staying for Christmas. The song is (with slight edits) Chicago - Hard to Say I'm Sorry

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