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Mary Brooding
Just a Flutter [Tag Tabitha]
Sun Jul 29, 2018 22:26

The gardens had long since been a sanctuary for Mary Brooding. She'd always appreciated the fact that they were essentially one big lie; one big refusal to be what they were supposed to be. As a student, she'd often hidden amongst the bushes and fountains, avoiding the reaching hands of guys during tag. Later, she realized she avoided the reaching hands of guys at all. Sometimes, she felt like she had a lot in common with the gardens.

Now, they offered only minimal respite, because they could do nothing to soothe her embarrassment. She wished she could clone herself and use one of herselves to slap some sense into the other of herselves, and then declone herself and walk away with some new insight into how exactly she could go about unbungling this bungled mess.

Mary huffed as she took a seat on a cold bench near a fountain. She almost laughed at the thought that here she was, her first day at Sonora, just like she'd been all those years ago. A lifetime ago.

Her thoughts turned around that idea, avoiding the one face who had entered her life the most recently. As usual, Parker's face came to mind first. He'd had curly hair, black as night and softer than anything else. She could picture the way he'd smiled at her the last time she saw him. Her parents were harder to remember, as she'd spent most of her late formative period at Sonora and had been busy adventuring with Parker on summers home. But she could remember their funeral.

Various other faces came to mind but none so vivid as Michelle. Ah, Michelle. The face of a woman she had loved. And, if she was honest, the only woman she had loved.

Mary sighed and wrung her hands before sinking her forehead into her palms and crying. There was no doubt that Tabitha was a lovely woman, smart, beautiful, and funny. But lots of things at Sonora were lovely, and she shouldn't have let loneliness cloud her feelings. Some part of her was aware that there might be much more between herself and Tabitha than just friends, but that time was yet to come. She knew there was no rush, whatever her lonely heart thought.

She'd been alone for so long that she'd almost forgot how crippling it was. The way two humans come together to share a moment of their lives is beautiful, and Mary knew she had missed that connection. It wasn't wrong to enjoy the touch or the kindness of someone she truly did admire-- there was no denying that if she was ready for a relationship, Tabitha would be the one she would pursue-- but there was something wrong with diving headfirst into a 'maybe' for fear of the 'what-ifs'.

Mary groaned, stood up, and screamed.

She was still crying, but it felt good to be angry instead of just sad for a moment. It felt even better than being lonely. But nothing could compare to being happy, and she slumped back onto the bench when she remembered what that was like. What it could be like.

The idea that happiness wasn't exclusive to her was a hard one for her to accept, but then she thought again of the friendly smile and greeting she'd received from a woman in the staff room, back before that woman was Tabitha, and before that friendly smile meant anything else.

Fear and sadness turned to embarrassment.

"Well," she grumbled aloud to herself. "This isn't bloody wonderful at all."

If she'd spoken any louder, she might've been heard. Perhaps she was at that. For footsteps approached and a familiar white robe billowed into view.

OOC: Tabitha's approach was approved by Tabitha's author.

    • Just a feeling...Tabitha Hawthorne, Sun Jul 29 22:57
      Tabitha was absolutely convinced that she was insane. She had wondered such things before, given her recklessness and her tendency to run into dangerous situations. She'd even made a hobby of such... more
      • A wonderful feeling?Mary Brooding, Mon Jul 30 02:14
        She came. Mary's chest lurched at the sight of Tabitha standing there, worried about her safety. A number of thoughts crossed her mind at once, including a few questions. Shimmering in the moonlight, ... more
        • I'm not sure yet. Tabitha Hawthorne, Mon Jul 30 09:42
          Tabitha put her wand away, having come to the conclusion that since Mary wasn't in any kind of danger, nor was she going to hex her for disturbing her while she was upset. Tabitha was feeling rather... more
          • Me neither.Mary Brooding, Mon Jul 30 15:28
            Certainly Tabitha had looked confused while Mary spoke, but now it was Mary's turn to wonder at her friend. She couldn't remember when Tabitha had said anything to ruin anything, although she... more
            • I want to find out though. Tabitha Hawthorne, Mon Jul 30 16:43
              Tabitha breathed shallowly. There was a tightness in her chest that she didn't feel often. It made it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to do anything at all. There was a stinging in her eyes and... more
              • Let's find out together.Mary Brooding, Mon Jul 30 17:16
                Mary smiled, her nose wrinkling. "Don't you worry a bit, that hair is always falling and I don't mind you pushing it back. I...I like it." Sensing that Tabitha needed something-- anything-- to... more
                • I'd like that. Tabitha Hawthorne, Mon Jul 30 17:55
                  Tabitha wiped at her eyes, brushing away any remaining tears and managed a weak smile at the Potions mistress who seemed to have an uncanny talent for finding something positive in everything.... more
                  • As would I, sweet one.Mary Brooding, Mon Jul 30 19:30
                    Mary busied herself with a gentle smile, and the nervous smoothing of her robes. She hoped it didn't look nervous, but she wouldn't deny it if she was caught out. Memories of a certain quiet starry... more
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