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Chaslyn Brockert
Indeed it is.
Wed Aug 31, 2016 03:34
68.117.137.184

Chaslyn was beyond exhaustion. She'd had about four hours of sleep in two days...and felt rather guilty about even that. Nor had she eaten enough which left her occasionally feeling kind of dizzy. She didn't have time for these things. Not really. She had way too much to do. Chaslyn was taking five advanced level classes, had prefect duties ,was a Head Monitor in the library and in every club except two. She was slightly grateful for the fact that Mother didn't approve of Muggle things and also that Quidditch wasn't completely considered acceptable for girls yet. She knew she shouldn't think that way, because it was important to be involved, to be successful, accomplished but she was just so tired . Not to mention all the other activities she had to keep up with.

Instead she was sustaining herself with potions. Endurance Potion of course, she was guzzling it all day long in what was probably seriously unhealthy quantities. Draught of Peace to keep her anxiety at bay. There was always a constant fear that she was failing somehow. Recently, she had even gotten an E on a Charms essay, which was below her target grade, both the one set by the professor and the one that her basic survival until she married Léon Beausang and moved to Quebec depended on. Then there were basic ones to boost her energy in addition to the Endurance Potion as well as good old coffee. It was absolutly vital that she did everything she had to do.

Of course, she didn't feel particularly well. There were the dizzy spells of course, especially when she tried to practice dance or gymnastics. Chaslyn had fallen a bunch of times and that was not okay at all. Nothing less than perfection in everything was okay. She'd had that drilled into her head from the moment she'd been able to understand and unlike her sister, she cared. Actually that was part of why she cared. Mother thought Amity was a disappointment, even though she'd done exactly what pureblood girls were supposed to do, which was marry well, and the situation led to conflict at family events with Mother taking jabs at the former Aladren that did not go unnoticed by Phillip, leading him to defend his wife. Plus the way Mother treated Amity as well as when Chaslyn didn't do as well as expected led to issues with her parents. She hated the conflict and hated more being the cause of some of it. If she just did what Mother wanted, it wouldn't happen. Besides, she didn't want to be a disappointment too, she wanted her mother to love her.

Then there were the crying jags. Crying cuz she was frustrated, crying cuz she was scared of disappointing Mother, crying for absolutely no reason at all.

Crying because she felt guilty. Not just about her failures, but about Liac. She had to admit to herself that she did feel a bit more than friendship for him even though she wouldn't dare tell anyone else. Thank Merlin the Satori wasn't around now. But her feelings were not acceptable either. Not just because of his background but because she was betrothed. She wanted to love Léon, she wanted what her sister had, not what her parents had. Even though Amity was considered a disappointment by Mother, she was happy with Phillip. Mother and Father weren't happy together at all, which admittedly was partially her fault and partially Amity's. Still she was worried about hurting Liac, who was her one true friend, as well as her future husband who seemed to be a pretty nice guy.

Not to mention that sometimes she felt like she was moving through a dense fog and others she had a terrible brain rush that made her feel as if everything was way sped up in there, a feeling like while it didn't hurt the way a headache did, it felt like her head was going explode and then she couldn't concentrate, which was a very bad thing. Sometimes her chest even hurt a little.

That night was sort of a more mentally foggy one. Chaslyn had experienced the exploding head and slightly painful chest thing earlier today, shortly after the ten minutes she allotted herself for lunch but now she had crashed. She would have to take another dose of Endurance Potion soon. Coffee might help again as well, but since she had to go to her room after her shift in the library because of curfew and a trip to the Hall was out of the question.

When Leonidas Bennett, her cousin Arabella's brother-in-law, approached her that night, it took her a moment to realize what was happening. Caught unaware, she sputtered. "Oh-oh sure. Thank you for asking." Going with him, dancing the prefect dance would be so much more uncomplicated than dancing it with Liac anyway and she really didn't need any more complications right now.

  • This really is Ball Central, isn't it? (Tag Chaslyn)Leonidas Bennett, Thu Aug 25 21:19
    ”Do you know what your problem is, Leo?” Leonidas’s oldest sister had once asked him. He had made it clear, in so many words, that he didn’t care about Eliza’s thoughts on the matter, but she had... more
    • Indeed it is. — Chaslyn Brockert, Wed Aug 31 03:34
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