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Assistant Captain Joe Umland
Luckily, we're all extraordinary people. Right, guys?
Thu Sep 14, 2017 19:46

The beginning of Quidditch try-outs was one of those moments when Joe really, really wished he still had one of his siblings at school with him – in this instance, preferably Julian, as she had also been in Teppenpaw and therefore would have a better excuse to be around at the exact moment Joe wanted to make a sarcastic comment about his and Ginger’s popularity. Though she was, all things considered, also the more likely of his two siblings who’d also attended this school to be the one to make a sarcastic remark about Joe and Ginger’s popularity, and that was a different thing entirely than listening to one.

A moment later, though, Joe realized it didn’t actually matter. Julian disliked heights and was easily the least athletic member of the family, so her being on the Pitch would be unlikely and serve no purpose other than make Joe a laughingstock, and even if she had been, or if they had existed in some bizarre universe where John got Sorted into Teppenpaw, Joe could not have actually made his sarcastic remark. He was the Assistant Captain now, which meant standing off to one side looking pleasant, not in the safety of the group where he could mutter sarcastic remarks to a neighboring sibling. His and Ginger’s were high and lonely destinies, he supposed, though he knew well from his childhood reading that only seven-foot-tall aliens were allowed to put it quite like that. Humans who did so just looked kind of stupid, not least because of their inability to rip bits off of lampposts and use these to break the heads of anyone who pointed out that they sounded kind of stupid…He bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the image of himself standing out here with grey hair and badly banged-about Edwardian dress and a certain expression of confusion and horror at how the day was going and how it was proceeding away from his brandy while a seven-foot-tall Ginger (well, the hair color was right, anyway) laid about her with a lamppost.

He refrained from attempting to assign characters to the others on the Pitch. For one thing, the only people he could imagine as Digory and Polly were too old to be his nephew and his nephew's friend. For another, he found it difficult to imagine Julian producing a child that bore any resemblance to Digory Kirke and preferred not to think about Julian producing children at all, come to that. He was the youngest of five children, four of them boys. Babies were not creatures he was remotely familiar with, and at the sight of one, he strongly suspected he’d ask John if John still wanted to hop a wooden boat and go explore the interior of Africa or South America or something and never mind that other people had pretty much completed those jobs before the last century even rolled around. Poisonous snakes and redundancy, or even taking up soldiering and pursuing it enthusiastically enough to become an officer (the closest he thought a couple of Canadian boys could get to John's oldest plan, which was that they become knights), all sounded less terrifying than the prospect of dealing with infants.

He had flown a few times over the summer, but had not found them particularly useful occasions, as they had generally taken the form of Julian’s cousins’ poor excuse for a broom game. One had been better than the others – it had been a free-for-all, which meant Joe had been mostly free to hex people in the back and watch John’s back, both of which he liked much better than all the honorable face-to-face stuff with people who all knew significantly more magic than he did – but none had been much good for keeping in form for Quidditch, so the practice laps were both something he figured he needed and found most pleasant. It was ever so nice to be able to fly again without someone trying to decapitate him. And then, Ginger’s second exercise (Joe made a mental note to try to strike up conversation with the two first year boys, using the prefect excuse to his advantage, and then bring it around to how they should come help out here) gave him a chance to practice evasive flying, as he was not the person closest to her at that moment and therefore did not become ‘it’. Grinning a bit without noticing it, he flew off, too, avoiding straight lines in all four directions as best he could without straying too far from the crowd and therefore singling himself out as a target when it was something of a toss-up whether or not he could win an outright one-on-one race.

  • Not your ordinary Teppenpaw Try-OutsCaptain Ginger Pierce, Thu Sep 14 11:17
    Three names. Ginger had only three names. Herself. Joe. Eden. This was not looking promising. She had little doubt that she could get Nat on board again, if she could track the fifth year down. She'd ... more
    • Luckily, we're all extraordinary people. Right, guys? — Assistant Captain Joe Umland, Thu Sep 14 19:46
      • Why do I keep doing this to myself?Jozua Sparks, Sun Sep 17 18:00
        He had watched the sign-up sheet. The number of names was few enough, that he didn't feel like he'd be letting down the House if he didn't show up this year. It didn't look like they'd be making a... more
        • Not trying outGeorgia Kirkly, Tue Sep 19 23:54
          There was no way she was trying out for Quidditch. The only things in its favour were that, over the summer, she had discovered that she could hit decently hard - a fact which opened up the... more
          • That's what Jozua said too...Captain Ginger, Thu Sep 21 09:26
            She had flown sufficiently far away from Jozua that he had chosen a different target to chase down. She looked about to see how everyone else was doing, and noticed the had a new arrival. Hoping that ... more
            • He seems real happy with how that went...Georgia, Thu Sep 21 22:46
              Were you interested in trying out for the Teppenpaw team? No scorn. No emphasis on the ‘you’ that implied it was a ridiculous idea. Ginger actually just seemed genuinely hopeful about the idea. “I’m... more
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