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Jax Donovan
The Wolf in me
Fri Sep 18, 2015 19:58

The change was always painful. His body is ripped up, mutated, manipulated, and grotesquely twisted about while the wolf made its presence into the world. Thanks to the Wolfsbane potion, Jax’s entire consciousness was aware of the change; each and every second of it. If he didn’t have to take the potion, he might have been free of the pain. He wouldn’t be aware of it. But that was not an option for him now.

Back when all of this had happened. When his father was killed and Jax had run away with nothing more than a bite, his mother did not have the money to obtain proper care for him so she had to lock him away during the changes. He didn’t remember them, not then and not now. So, Jax could only assume that it meant that during the changes, the wolf took full control and Jax remembered nothing about any of it, including the pain.

Jax wondered, often, if this would ever end for him. This whole ordeal was agony for him. Absolute agony in every way imaginable. His family was kept in hiding and forced to move around if people found out about what he was. His mother had difficult times finding decent jobs that would help keep them afloat because of him. He even knew about that one boss of hers in the last place that they were living at who would try to use her in an improper way after he found out about Jax. He said he’d ‘keep them safe’ if she did ‘something’ for him in return. Jax’s mother didn’t know that he knew, but Mr.Baros had made sure to let Jax know just what his mother had to do for him.

He was angry that his curse had put his mother in such a position and angry that there were people in the world that would abuse her like that. He knew that in order to protect her and Gia, Jax would need to get strong. He would need to learn how to fight. He had to be the strongest in order to keep them safe and Jax would do whatever he needed to in order to make sure people wouldn’t threaten them anymore.

The wolf whined as the anger grew in him. He always became angry in this state because there was nothing for him to do but brood on everything that had befallen them since that night of the attack. The anger boiled and bubbled and raged within him. And with it, the whining came from the wolf. It was only fair since when the change happened, it was Jax who was whining and screaming in agony.

The sun would be rising soon and he would have to go through it again. Until then though, he would allow the anger to seethe. The pain would destroy any anger he had and when it was all over and he sat withering on the floor for Medic Eir to find, he would be reminded as to how pathetic he honestly was.

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