Tabitha Hawthorne
It appears that so am I.
Tue Aug 7, 2018 16:56

Tabitha did not understand what had just happened.

Mentally, she reviewed everything she'd just said, trying to work out if she'd said something offensive. When she couldn't find anything, a look of confusion passed across her features. Somehow, in only the span of a few minutes, the nice evening that the pair had been sharing had turned sour and, despite not knowing what she'd said to have caused it to do so, the wrenching feeling in Tabitha's gut told her that it was entirely her fault.

She didn't know what to do.

Except do what Mary asked, she supposed.

The Defence professor downed the rest of her glass of whiskey, the burning sensation it brought distracting her from the awkwardness and coldness that had descended upon the room. How had she managed to ruin what had been a lovely night? How had she managed to destroy not only the night of the Opening Feast by opening her big mouth but it also seemed that that same big mouth had somehow managed to destroy another. She swallowed thickly and got to her feet, picking up what remained of her whiskey, tucking it under her arm, and still clutching her own glass tumbler.

She didn't look at Mary as she made her way towards the door. Judging by the prickling sensation that she was starting to feel behind her eyes, she knew that if she looked at the woman, she'd fall to pieces. Her free hand gripped the door handle of Mary's office door, her hold white-knuckle tight and she felt that it was the only thing that was keeping her steady.

Mary's earlier words, thanking her for her help and that the night had been lovely, didn't feel sincere. They did nothing to help fill the hollowness that Tabitha felt within her chest. She doubted there was anything she could say that would repair the situation. It was better to just leave.

"Good night," she said simply before wrenching the door open and walking quickly away from Mary's office and Mary herself.

As she was walking back to her rooms, anger started to bubble within her. It simmered below the surface, making her skin feel prickly. She could feel a hot flush rising to her cheeks and her eyes stinging as tears started to leak. She hated herself for somehow managing to destroy another lovely night. She cursed her loneliness making her feel needy and causing her to become so rapidly attached to the first person who showed her even the slightest bit of attention. She seethed at the fact that she didn't seem to be able to do anything even remotely correctly when around Mary. She was enraged because she just seemed to ruin absolutely everything, including a friendship with one of the loveliest people that Tabitha had ever had the privilege of meeting.

It was the moment when she reached her rooms that her anger reached its peak. What sent her over the edge wasn't any of the reasons she'd previously thought about. It was simply that it was at that point that she'd forgetten the other cristal whiskey tumbler that Mary had still been holding when she'd left.

With a yell that seemed to express not just one night of anger but weeks and months of loneliness and guilt and heartbreak, that expressed more than just a few sullen feelings over Mary, Tabitha threw her own cristal glass at the wall across the room. It exploded as it hit stone and the newly smashed shards littered the floor like a thousand tiny daggers. Tabitha couldn't help but think that maybe her soul had shattered in a very similar way.

  • I'm a total mess!Mary Brooding, Tue Aug 7 16:13
    Mary managed a weak smile, but couldn't quite look at her friend. She let the woman's words hang in the air and didn't answer for a moment. Having read parts of Tabitha's journals and spoken with her ... more
    • It appears that so am I. — Tabitha Hawthorne, Tue Aug 7 16:56
      • It's not you, it's me.Mary Brooding, Tue Aug 7 20:14
        Mary closed her eyes as soon as Tabitha was out of range to see her expression and she flinched as the door slammed shut. When she opened her eyes again, her knuckles were white around the tumbler--... more
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