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Your... youness is so exciting
Wed Aug 15, 2018 20:11

Professor Brooding was so... so... He was not sure what word to use, but she made him feel warm and safe. She seemed to just understand and be lovely about everything, and it felt like nothing he could say would be wrong or stupid. It was a pleasant and rare thing to be offered wonderful books, but even more so to be told it was ok if it didn't work out exactly as planned. The librarian tried to reassure him sometimes, when he came back defeated by a book, but it was still something he struggled with. Dorian was a perfectionist and a bibliophile and not getting on with a book jarred with his soul.

"It can always be a book for later?" he suggested.

"Oh.. I am not sure. It is not really..." he trailed off with an embarrassed shrug when she suggested his family would be good at potions. He definitely had not been trying to claim that, and he worried that Professor Brooding was going to expect more of him than he was capable of delivering. "I will do my best though." His best was usually fairly solid Os but Dorian still struggled with taking praise.

He also found himself defeated when Professor Brooding revealed that she did not really know any other languages. He was trying to work out how to ask, whether to ask, when she went on to explain for him anyway. The warm happiness returned to his eyes when Professor Brooding talked about her family. She was like him. Not exactly but... He held onto the information she had given him, and it felt like he was holding a delicate ball of coloured glass. It was beautiful and special and he felt so glad and so priviledged to be able to have it, but it was so, so fragile and he was very afraid of mishandling it and causing it to break.

"I see," he said carefully. He did not want to claim sameness in case she didn't see it that way, or he said it wrong somehow.

"We live in Quebec - French Canada," he explained. He expected that someone as well travelled as Professor Brooding knew what Quebec was but there had been occasions when people seemed surprised by the combination of a French accent and a claim of Canadian citizenship, or did not know what Quebecois meant, so it seemed better to be sure. "My father is from there.

"Where you live... Or where you lived when you were small, are there..." he paused, and the rest of the sentence came out slowly, each phrase clearly considered with great care, "Are there other people... like you? Not necessarily exactly alike but... but also different to other people around them? Or are you the only one?" And even though he hadn't said it, it was clear from the way he looked at her that he finally saw himself reflected in someone else, and was searching to see if they saw the same. And it was probably easy to infer from this search for a recognition of their sameness in being different, a need to find himself reflected, recognised and understood, which of the scenarios mentioned he had experienced.

  • Your excitement is so exciting!Prof. Mary Brooding, Wed Aug 15 19:28
    Mary chuckled softly, enjoying Mr. Montoir's enthusiasm. His comments about ancestors and descendants seemed fairly straightforward but Mary could tell there was a cultural element she was missing.... more
    • Your... youness is so exciting — Dorian, Wed Aug 15 20:11
      • My meness is sort of like your youness. Just a lil bit.Prof. Mary Brooding, Wed Aug 15 20:28
        Ah, Quebec made sense. Mary was inspired by the careful way Mr. Montoir seemed to think over his words before speaking and she was reminded of her brother. Parker's eyebrows had always had a little... more
        • I think we have quite a lot of usnessDorian, Thu Aug 16 07:06
          The use of the past tense did not strike Dorian as worrying. Somewhere between the fact that they were talking about the past and the fact that it wasn't his dominant language, it didn't stand out to ... more
          • Usness has a lot of loveliness!Prof. Mary Brooding, Thu Aug 16 22:10
            Mary smiled sadly at Mr. Montoir's question. She had indeed been lonely at Sonora, but wasn't sure that was an appropriate conversation to get into with someone who was just starting their teen years ... more
            • I think love also has a lot of usnessDorian, Fri Aug 17 07:41
              Professor Brooding's comments about her time at school were a little strange and concerning. People trying to control those in their family... People being not nice... That sounded a lot like someone ... more
              • It is a great thing to be more full of love than of yourselfProf. Mary Brooding, Fri Aug 17 21:48
                Mary watched as a variety of emotions played across Mr. Montoir's face. Some part of him was caught up in the words he couldn't get out the way he wanted, but part of it seemed deeper than that. He... more
                • That sums up the issue wellDorian, Fri Aug 17 23:54
                  Dorian weighed up Professor Brooding’s offer carefully. His instinctive reaction was that he was supposed to put on a bright smile and tell her that it was all fine, because that was what he had been ... more
                  • So long as it doesn't mutliply the issue, too!Professor Mary Brooding, Sat Aug 18 16:48
                    Mary thought that Mr. Montoir must be one of the most thoughtful adolescents she'd ever met, if not the very most thoughtful. He had a careful countenance but not one that lended well to... more
                    • I fear love might multiply my issuesDorian, Sat Aug 18 20:43
                      Dorian was taken aback by the use of his family name, and was about to tell Professor Brooding to call him Dorian when he remembered that she was a teacher, and he did not have the authority to do... more
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