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I think we have quite a lot of usness
Thu Aug 16, 2018 07:06

The use of the past tense did not strike Dorian as worrying. Somewhere between the fact that they were talking about the past and the fact that it wasn't his dominant language, it didn't stand out to him. What did stand out to him, however, was what she said about her school days.

"You were lonely at Sonora?" he asked in shock. Sonora was such a perfect place to him, so full of nice and perfect company. It was the place he had found his first true friends. Even before that though, for all he did not fit in at home, he was not sure he would have described himself as 'lonely' even there. He had Émilie and Mama. "That is very terrible. I am sorry." He thought that loneliness might be just about the saddest thing, apart from heartbreak, and he vowed to himself to make sure that this time around, Sonora was different for Professor Brooding. He was not naive enough to think he could offer to be her friend. He was a thirteen year old boy, and she was his teacher. It would be strange to put it in those terms. But he would be it anyway. He would read the books she lent him, and make sure he had interesting thoughts about them to come and share with her. He would come to talk to her about potions theory just for fun. He would make sure that she was not lonely this time.

He pondered her question carefully. He was silently thrilled to be included, to be counted as an 'us.' But it wasn't really around his friends that there was any issue, and he did not want her to think that, because then he felt like he was misrepresenting the people who meant so much to him.

"A little bit yes and a little bit no?" he suggested. "They are not different like us," he smiled as he said it, "But with Tatya, we both speak English less well, so we have this. We are a bit outside but together, like you and your friends." Or they had been. Tatya, of course, now had someone around to speak her native language with. Which was good, and he was happy for her. He sometimes worried that she was lonely because he had something with Jehan that she was not part of... Because he, Dorian, was probably Tatya's closest friend but he did not return that feeling, much as he cared for her. Still, it had been very hard, dropping off Katerina at breakfast and being reminded again of what he was missing out on. And he had felt a brief sting of jealousy, along with the worry that Tatya would stop needing or understanding him in the same way. But he trusted in their friendship, and Katerina was such a pleasant addition to the company he kept at school that he had easily put these thoughts aside. "And Jehan. With Jehan..." He searched for a moment, trying to find some way to convey it, to make sure Professor Brooding understood exactly about Jehan. For the first time since their conversation started, Dorian’s attention was not on her, or anything in the room. It was turned inwards to a private little little world, one that made Dorian smile differently to any of the several ways he had already smiled at Professor Brooding. And there was the way he had said Jehan’s name, like it was the most precious pair of syllables a person could utter. “We are different on the outside but that isn't important because we are exactly the same inside.

"It was more difficult before Sonora,” he added, the window the private little world that had been open closing abruptly, “At home... At home we are the only ones, and people think it matters a lot."

  • My meness is sort of like your youness. Just a lil bit.Prof. Mary Brooding, Wed Aug 15 20:28
    Ah, Quebec made sense. Mary was inspired by the careful way Mr. Montoir seemed to think over his words before speaking and she was reminded of her brother. Parker's eyebrows had always had a little... more
    • I think we have quite a lot of usness — Dorian, Thu Aug 16 07:06
      • Usness has a lot of loveliness!Prof. Mary Brooding, Thu Aug 16 22:10
        Mary smiled sadly at Mr. Montoir's question. She had indeed been lonely at Sonora, but wasn't sure that was an appropriate conversation to get into with someone who was just starting their teen years ... more
        • I think love also has a lot of usnessDorian, Fri Aug 17 07:41
          Professor Brooding's comments about her time at school were a little strange and concerning. People trying to control those in their family... People being not nice... That sounded a lot like someone ... more
          • It is a great thing to be more full of love than of yourselfProf. Mary Brooding, Fri Aug 17 21:48
            Mary watched as a variety of emotions played across Mr. Montoir's face. Some part of him was caught up in the words he couldn't get out the way he wanted, but part of it seemed deeper than that. He... more
            • That sums up the issue wellDorian, Fri Aug 17 23:54
              Dorian weighed up Professor Brooding’s offer carefully. His instinctive reaction was that he was supposed to put on a bright smile and tell her that it was all fine, because that was what he had been ... more
              • So long as it doesn't mutliply the issue, too!Professor Mary Brooding, Sat Aug 18 16:48
                Mary thought that Mr. Montoir must be one of the most thoughtful adolescents she'd ever met, if not the very most thoughtful. He had a careful countenance but not one that lended well to... more
                • I fear love might multiply my issuesDorian, Sat Aug 18 20:43
                  Dorian was taken aback by the use of his family name, and was about to tell Professor Brooding to call him Dorian when he remembered that she was a teacher, and he did not have the authority to do... more
                  • Do you really think that? Or just fear it?Prof. Mary Brooding, Sun Aug 19 13:26
                    Mary looked up, pleased that Mr. Montoir had gone to the shelf of books. He'd gone immediately to the section of Chinese language books (although she was quite sure some of them were mixed up with... more
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