Mary Brooding
I'm always here.
Wed Jan 23, 2019 20:51
2601:1c1:8802:d69:c30:af9a:3bfd:33cf

Mary allowed her shoulders to relax, surprised by how much tension they'd in carrying through this conversation. She was certain that she was projecting, or possibly just confronting some of her old demons, but Dorian seemed so familiar today that she was sure they could be the same person. She hoped that she'd be as kind as him someday, which was an odd thing to hope about a child but still. He was hardly a child these days.

"Definitely not," she reassured him, confident that she'd remain at Sonora at least. She was less positive that no one would think less of her for her sexual orientation, but that hardly bothered her anymore so she saw no need to worry Dorian over it. What was definitely true was that she had loving, kind, wonderful colleagues who were probably decent people too.

One time, Mary had terribly botched a shrinking potion and managed only to tightly pack the rags she was trying to fold small instead of actually shrinking it. When she'd remedied the mistake with an enlarging solution, she'd watched as the rag slowly took shape, growing and warming and relaxing. Watching Dorian's expression was either very much like watching the rag shrink or watching it grow, and Mary thought there was poetry in each.

"I wish I did too," she admitted when Dorian explained how nice it would be to know how things would turn out. Her thoughts turned to Michelle and JJ. Would she or Tabitha have liked to know how things would turn out before they had? Would it have changed anything? She only knew her own answer. "I like to think of life a bit like a good book. Even when parts of the story are sad or hard, I never ever want to turn ahead to see what happens. Part of the beauty in life is the hard things, even if they are hard, and the story is best left unspoiled."

As Dorian pondered what he needed to do next, Mary reminisced herself and mulled over what she knew of the other players in Dorian's life story. Before she could come to any one particular thought about any of it, he asked her a question that she was pretty sure she shouldn't answer. There's too much power in answering a question like that, especially when her role naturally placed her in a position of authority over Dorian. It wasn't appropriate to suggest anything because there would simply be too much weight behind it. He had to make this decision himself.

"I am not sure what it's like to be you," she began, speaking carefully. There was a thoughtfulness on her face that belied her conflicted feelings, even if there was no sadness or heartache there. She was just thoughtful. "But I think a plan is a good idea. It's hard to say what's the right plan for you because anyone else would do it differently." She wondered how much she could help, though. It seemed worse to leave him hanging. "I think that I would want to know what I could live with. Whether I would rather live with questions and uncertainty, and risk not knowing how the object of my affection felt about me, or whether I would rather live with the sadness of unrequited love, but know precisely how things were. What will help you sleep at night?"

She pondered for a moment to consider whether her next words were true. "The absolute worst thing that can reasonably happen if you talk to Jehan is that nothing changes," she said simply. "Jehan is a good person, and I think you know he wouldn't gossip about you or tell your family. Maybe that means he's a good person to talk to first, or maybe that means you can wait a little longer until you're sure of what you want to do."

  • Come back!Dorian, Tue Jan 15 19:40
    "Ok," Dorian nodded, when Professor Brooding assured him that he wasn't about to be kicked out. "And are any of those other things going to happen? To you?" he asked, noticing that she had only... more
    • I'm always here. — Mary Brooding, Wed Jan 23 20:51
      • GoodDorian, Sat Jan 26 21:39
        Nothing bad was going to happen to Professor Brooding. That was one less thing to worry about. Well… that was one thing to worry less about. He wasn’t sure he could stop worrying altogether. He... more
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