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Betsy (Mom of Maggie)
Need advice or comfort
Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:24pm

I will start by saying that Maggie is fine. So don't worry about the subject line. This will be way too long, but it has been growing for awhile. My brother who lived in Texas became ill (strokes, diabetes, old) and after staying with him in Texas hospitals for five weeks (leaving my husband and Maggie alone and missing them) I brought him here to Florida on a charter medical flight. My wonderful daughter and her husband drove his dog, bird, and all his important personal belongings 2,000 miles to be with him. He lived in our guest cottage with 24 hour a day nursing care along with his beloved dog and conure, Daisy and Popeye, and then to a facility when he could no longer live here safely. He passed away January 20th. I miss him a lot as he was my only sibling and we were close growing up. I promised him I would keep Daisy and Popeye and make them part of our family. Well, we brought Daisy into our home and all went fairly well for 3 weeks. Then Daisy decided she should be Queen and attacked Maggie. Hindsight being 20/20, we should have seen it coming, but we didn't. Actually, while Daisy initiated the attack, Maggie was the only one who drew blood. Daisy is almost 10 years old, a mixed breed )mainly black lab)dog my brother rescued when someone had dumped her in the pasture on a cold icy night. According to the vet, she was less than 8 weeks old. She was Queen of her home and, of course, Maggie is Queen of ours. My husband banished Daisy back to the guest house. We spend time with her daily(it is also my pottery studio again) and walk her a mile every day. Hubby softened and we decided to try again watching very closely and being more "Alpha" ourselves. My husband, Maggie and I all agreed that Maggie had to be Alpha in the dog family here, so we always greeted her first, fed her first, yada.... However, while Daisy was happy to be here and appeared accepting of the setup at first, she slowly began to attempt to dominate Maggie. Maggie weighs 74 and Daisy 62; however, Maggie is a "girly-girl" and Daisy is a survivor! We intervened at every point when she began to show any sign of attempting to dominate. However, after a few days, she became extremely pushy one night and I had to intervene about three times and I saw it was escalating, so I literally drug her out the door and put her on the back porch in "timeout". Well, I let her back in after about 20 minutes and she went straight for Maggie again. End of this attempt. Daisy is again living in the guest cottage. It isn't a bad life, but she seems so much happier with us. I now believe it is hopeless but wanted to get some feedback from this forum. I find the advice here is awesome. If this isn't something we can resolve, we will still keep Daisy and just have two dog homes, but we really wish there was a solution. I have read some online advice but it ranges from "watch out somebody is going to get killed" to "let them work it out". We clearly aren't going to let them work it out on their own. If we did, Daisy would be Queen and we just love Maggie too much for her to have to relinquish that position. Thanks for any ideas. I really appreciate this forum!

  • Sorry for your loss Betsy (nm)Maria, Nadal and Iker, Tue Jun 12 9:02pm
    • Thank you Betsy (Mom of Maggie), Tue Jun 12 9:44pm
      Funny how the death of a close family member has such long lasting impact and changes your life. I have to consider my brother's age and poor health and accept that it was time. However, he was such... more
  • Hi Betsy, you probably already knowCristy(Mali and Honey), Tue Jun 12 4:08pm
    about http://www.petrescuebyjudy.com/ I live in Altamonte and know people that found their rescues through her. They even have a section for Senior dogs. Can't hurt to gve her a call. I feel so bad... more
    • Pets by JudyBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Tue Jun 12 9:31pm
      I have heard of her and actually have seen her at a few places. That is a good suggestion. I am still trying to get my brain around giving her away, but I am a little more open to it. Of course, if I ... more
  • Betsy, where do you guys live? Maybe we can helpCrystal/Ollie&Harriet, Tue Jun 12 11:46am
    with finding Daisy the perfect home near you so you can visit her? I love the idea of renting out your guest house, but let me ask you, would Daisy and Maggie share the same back yard still? You'd... more
    • Daisy the DominatorBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Tue Jun 12 2:14pm
      Hi Crystal, It has been so great to discuss this here because I feel like I am gaining some perspective and getting some great advice...which I really needed. You are so sweet to offer to find her a... more
  • Oh, I'm so sorry...Jen T (Ole & Ivy), Mon Jun 11 9:05pm
    What an awful thing to be dealing with on top of the loss of your brother. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really admire that you decided to adopt your brother's dog. But I'm sure that you had no idea... more
    • I think you're rightBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 10:54pm
      Hi Jen, Daisy has really surprised me. She seems docile and sort of easy-going and then she goes for the blood! She is just very assertive in many ways and it really shows in her interactions with... more
  • I would get a trainer involved. Ren, Mon Jun 11 7:51pm
    If you have your heart set on working it out, I would find a good trainer in your area that works with positive reinforcement and has lots of experience. If you'd like, you can email me at... more
    • trainerBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 8:41pm
      Thank you, Ren. I know you speak with lots of knowledge behind your words. Personally, I have come to believe it is pretty serious. I don't think it will get like "killer" because we won't let it get ... more
  • I tend to agree with Crystal that Daisy Donna (Ariel), Mon Jun 11 3:33pm
    should be an only dog. She's older and used to being the "leader". That being said, the only thing I would suggest would be a dog trainer. Sometimes an objective eye is needed. Good luck. What you're ... more
    • Thank youBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 5:06pm
      I tend to agree with both of you that Daisy should be an only dog. She would be insanely happy. Maybe I just needed permission to give up but it may take awhile. :-) I know Maggie thinks that would... more
      • Depends on the kind of conure, sun conuresDonna (Ariel), Mon Jun 11 7:36pm
        and the like live around 20 years. Now if you have one of the larger conures you could be looking at 50 years.
        • ConuresBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 8:23pm
          Oh, Well. We have two amazons (1 yellow-nape and 1 blue-front) that are 33 years old. I think they live to be 80. I guess I'm in it for the long haul. I just need to live to be 100 like my mother and ... more
  • Aww Betsy I'm so sorry about your brother ;(Crystal/Ollie&Harriet, Mon Jun 11 3:06pm
    You are an Angel for bringing him and his family to be with you guys! I'm sure you made some forever memories during that time for sure.. It's a very noble thing what you are trying to do with Daisy, ... more
    • Thank youBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 3:22pm
      Thank you, Crystal, for your warm hugs, understanding, and ideas. I must admit I have wrestled with the idea of finding a home for Daisy. I guess I'm not there yet, but I agree that she would be... more
  • Re: Need advice or comfortJC56 (Creasey), Mon Jun 11 2:33pm
    Have you tried lots of praises and possibly some high value treats when the two of them are relaxing nicely together, or even playing nicely? I wish I could be more help, and really look forward to... more
    • Praise and treatsBetsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 2:39pm
      We do praise and offer their favorite treats when they are ignoring one another and are in the same area. They really have never played together at all and pretty much avoid one another and keep... more
      • Re: Praise and treatsJC56 (Creasey), Mon Jun 11 2:52pm
        Have you tried walking both at the same time? Having Maggie lead the way? They do say that dogs leading the way ARE the pack leader. Perhaps you walk Maggie just a few steps ahead, while someone else ... more
        • Worth a try!Betsy (Mom of Maggie), Mon Jun 11 3:09pm
          Thanks for the suggestions! We have not yet tried walking them together with Maggie in front. We will definitely do that. Both dogs get a mile walk daily with my husband walking Maggie in the... more
          • Re: Worth a try!JC56 (Creasey), Mon Jun 11 3:14pm
            LOL..I guess I can relate. Creasey is only 8 months but he's just a big goofball. You can so tell he's the gentle type and not an aggressive Alpha male. He'll puff up his chest and bark, and it's a... more
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