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OT: difficult phone call - zoo power needed!
Sun Aug 26, 2018 12:23pm
2003:f1:33cd:1:da1:8076:c4ec:f931

I need to say good bye to my American mum today. She is 94 years old and was not ill until she recently took a fall and broke her hip. It was a long and difficult sugery, but it all went well. But she went downhill rapidly with bronchitis, pneumonia and this morning I woke up to an e-mail from her daughter that she may not last another week.
I will try to call Nancy in a few minutes. Jo Marie, her daughter, will be there to answer the phone and to put it to Nancy's ear. She will know it's me, but most likely not able to talk to me.
I haven't stopped crying all day. I know she is old, 94, and had the most wonderful life. She really had it all, and she was never ever sick. I know I have to let her go eventually. But when the day comes, I guess you are still not ready, now matter how old they are.
I love her more than my real mother (actually, I never loved her because she is a naricisstic bitch and made my life living hell). But Nancy, she was (and still is) like a mum I wish I had. She loves me. She was there when I divorced Michael, she was there when I was ill, she took care of me when I needed a mum. She supported my move to Germany although she would have rather have me stay close to her.
Gosh, I don't know how I will get through this call now without falling apart. But she can't know how devastated I am. It will make it worse for her to let go.
I need tons of zoo power now!!!!!!!!!!

    • What a tough callKit and Max, Thu Aug 30 3:55pm
      Vera, you are not alone. There is nobody who feels "up to" this kind of call. I hope it went well. I didn't read this until after, but I'm sure that your American Mum appreciated talking with you and ... more
    • Iím so sorry Vera - itís so tough - glad thatMadonna and Euro, Wed Aug 29 6:57pm
      You had a mom in your life that you loved - even if not biological Hugs
    • My Dear Vera, Age is but a numberSoogee and Wally, Mon Aug 27 10:43pm
      There are those that live many numbers and have nothing to look back on. Long empty years of wishing and wishing and doing nothing with the wonderful time that has been given to them. They live on a... more
      • Such beautiful words, SueLucyR(Ozzie's Mom), Tue Aug 28 12:10am
        ...and a wonderful story that reflects your loving and caring spirit. So glad you came to the Zoo and we have known each other all these many years. I know your words were a comfort to Vera.
        • Thank you, Lucy. Your words areSoogee and Wally, Tue Aug 28 1:04am
          very sweet and honestly brought that wet stuff to my eyes. So many times I wished I lived closer to many of you. But there are times that I am glad the distance remains. I am often a mess especially... more
          • Thank you all for your kind wordsVera, Tue Aug 28 3:04am
            all I could do yesterday was crying. I wasn't able to eat or drink, I was afraid to throw up. Helmut left for work crying and when he got home and saw the state I am in, he started to cry again, too. ... more
            • I do understand. There is nothingSoogee and Wally, Tue Aug 28 10:32pm
              in this world that is bigger or means more than an honest'I Love You'. The part of your post in answer to mine that ran my eyes full of tears was your statement..."My own mother never told me she... more
    • I am so sorry for your loss.Shelley - Willow Grace, Mon Aug 27 7:29pm
      Iím happy you were able to say I love you one more time. Hugs from New York State.
    • That is tough. But you will be glad you did it,Linda P and Maxwell in OH, Sun Aug 26 7:29pm
      and I suspect, she will be very glad to hear from you.
      • she passed away right after my phone callVera, Mon Aug 27 6:53am
        we were only able to tell each other "I love you". She passed away about 1/2 hour later.
        • She took that love with herSD&B, Tue Aug 28 3:10am
          as she journeys to the next plane. The love between you two will never die. But I know that your world is different now without her in it. That is a hard thing to accept. You were so lucky to have... more
        • So gladKaran and Holly, Tue Aug 28 12:30am
          So glad you were able to exchange those most important words!
        • What you said was the most important part of all.Linda P and Maxwell in OH, Mon Aug 27 1:56pm
          Maybe she was even waiting on your call before moving on. What a gift that you did have time to talk to her.
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