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Soogee and Wally
My Dear Vera, Age is but a number
Mon Aug 27, 2018 10:43pm

There are those that live many numbers and have nothing to look back on. Long empty years of wishing and wishing and doing nothing with the wonderful time that has been given to them. They live on a postage stamp afraid to step off of it. They reach out but are afraid to take a hand that might be reaching back for them. Their days are long but their years are short and empty and fly by without substance. Their diary is filled with short sentences of hopes and dreams that they failed to see when they came knocking on their door. Then, Vera, there are those whose life, be it long or short, are so filled with doing and caring and being and sharing and loving. They are loved by many and friends to what seems like everyone else. Always a smile on their face. Always ready to go and do and help. Their feelings run deep and their character almost flawless. They try not to let fear dictate how their lives are run. It sounds to me as if your American Mum fits into this last group. It is so reminiscent of a number of years when Mort an I acted as parents to our older son's Wisconsin girlfriend. Her father didn't know what to do with teenage kids and her mother had MS that was terribly aggressive. She was sweet and super friendly but without direction. She was needy. We tried to prevent their relationship but it was very strong and had a life of it's own. We came to love this girl and took her in to live with us for a number of years. We treated her as a daughter showing her direction and molding her as our own. We helped and supported her and showed her the way. She listened. She grew. She worked it out. I think your American Mom is like this. She had a lot of love to include you into her life and family. Saying goodbye to her is bittersweet. How do you say goodbye? You show her the love she shared with you. A big hug. A sweet and honest thank you to acknowledge all that she had given to you. And when you tell her that you love her,you will mean it from deep inside you. It sounds like she had a good and full life. One that should be celebrated as she is sent on her way Home. It's up to you how you wish to celebrate her life. Saying a big heart felt Thank you is only one of the ways.

As for my son's girlfriend..She got into SUNY-Buffalo in a 4 year nursing program. Carried an A average. Became a nurse and was running a dialysis unit back in WI. She matured. She and my son parted company, they both married someone else, they both had 2 kids each. She still tells us to this day that she loves us as her parents as we love her as a daughter. You will get through your Mum's passing and celebrate her life by lighting a candle that can softly blow out in a gentle wind much like your mum as she is sent off Home. I am sorry for the loss you will experience. Say goodbye with a gentle 'Thank you."

  • I need to say good bye to my American mum today. She is 94 years old and was not ill until she recently took a fall and broke her hip. It was a long and difficult sugery, but it all went well. But... more
    • What a tough callKit and Max, Thu Aug 30 3:55pm
      Vera, you are not alone. There is nobody who feels "up to" this kind of call. I hope it went well. I didn't read this until after, but I'm sure that your American Mum appreciated talking with you and ... more
    • My Dear Vera, Age is but a number — Soogee and Wally, Mon Aug 27 10:43pm
      • Such beautiful words, SueLucyR(Ozzie's Mom), Tue Aug 28 12:10am
        ...and a wonderful story that reflects your loving and caring spirit. So glad you came to the Zoo and we have known each other all these many years. I know your words were a comfort to Vera.
        • Thank you, Lucy. Your words areSoogee and Wally, Tue Aug 28 1:04am
          very sweet and honestly brought that wet stuff to my eyes. So many times I wished I lived closer to many of you. But there are times that I am glad the distance remains. I am often a mess especially... more
          • Thank you all for your kind wordsVera, Tue Aug 28 3:04am
            all I could do yesterday was crying. I wasn't able to eat or drink, I was afraid to throw up. Helmut left for work crying and when he got home and saw the state I am in, he started to cry again, too. ... more
            • I do understand. There is nothingSoogee and Wally, Tue Aug 28 10:32pm
              in this world that is bigger or means more than an honest'I Love You'. The part of your post in answer to mine that ran my eyes full of tears was your statement..."My own mother never told me she... more
    • I am so sorry for your loss.Shelley - Willow Grace, Mon Aug 27 7:29pm
      Iím happy you were able to say I love you one more time. Hugs from New York State.
    • That is tough. But you will be glad you did it,Linda P and Maxwell in OH, Sun Aug 26 7:29pm
      and I suspect, she will be very glad to hear from you.
      • she passed away right after my phone callVera, Mon Aug 27 6:53am
        we were only able to tell each other "I love you". She passed away about 1/2 hour later.
        • She took that love with herSD&B, Tue Aug 28 3:10am
          as she journeys to the next plane. The love between you two will never die. But I know that your world is different now without her in it. That is a hard thing to accept. You were so lucky to have... more
        • So gladKaran and Holly, Tue Aug 28 12:30am
          So glad you were able to exchange those most important words!
        • What you said was the most important part of all.Linda P and Maxwell in OH, Mon Aug 27 1:56pm
          Maybe she was even waiting on your call before moving on. What a gift that you did have time to talk to her.
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